Last night was the first part of the Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion. Right off the bat the vibe was immediately much different than last years – which was awesome. Teresa Giudice seemed relaxed-ish and confident. Jacqueline Laurita had great hair. And Caroline Manzo's head wasn't smoking. So yay for progress. Everyone was very orange though, but you know it could've been my TV.
Andy Cohen jumps right in. It's clear that some people really either took to heart the therapy and forgiveness, while others cannot and will not let go. Maybe some people really do value their friendships over a show, or maybe it's because they're leaving they want to go out on a good note – whatever.
Caroline has definitely decided that since she is officially done with this show, it's time to get. honest. And getting honest means calling Melissa Gorgaout! Caroline points out that Melissa and Teresa are eerily similar in many ways. While Teresa blinks profusely and thinks carefully about what the word "similar" means, Melissa gets combative and denies, denies, denies! "We're nothing alike. If we were alike, we'd be able to get along," she insists. Melissa insists that at their core she and Teresa are different people. Good thing she cleared that up cause on the surface they're both materialistic, self-absorbed, attention whores! And at their core, they're both rotten!
From the look of the previews, we'll be getting some rehashes of the cheating rumors, the Posche drama (what's allowed legally anyway!), refreshers on the therapy retreats, and even touching a bit on the Joe & Teresafraud charges.
We initially thought the reunion was going to be another three part extravaganza like last year, but it's actually only two this time around – with a twist. The reunion shows will run 90 minutes each instead of one hour.
Johnny was accused of spreading rumors about Melissa Gorga's allegedly nefarious past which caused Poison to flip his spray on hair'd top. He was also accused of making nasty comments about Jacqueline's son Nicholas, which caused Chris Laurita to leap into the wackin', crackin' crazy.
Unfortunately all is NOT said and done! Word just emerged that Johnny will file a civil suit against Bravo for their role in instigating the fight. “Johnny plans to file civil charges against every – all three of the people from the show, Bravo, NBC, the production company and the security teams that didn’t stop the physical violence from happening,” a source revealed to Radar Online.
Teresa revealed that she's sick of apologizing and taking blame, but will keep on doing it for the sake of her brother Joe. "I can't believe it ended like the last two did: with everyone trying to blame me and make me apologize. I've apologized more times than I can count, but if that's what my brother needs, I'll keep apologizing until my tongue falls out. I've never tried to hurt him or Melissa. I only care about my family. Hopefully we've wiped the slate clean and can start over from here now. Since my family is in the public eye, we've got to be strong, we've got to support each other, and we've got to stand united. I never want to go back to that dark place with my family again."
Last night was the season finale of Real Housewives of New Jersey. I don't know why they bothered taping one this season since it was pretty much a complete rehash of last season's! Of course things ended on a much better note, so there's that – and it seemed as if Teresa Giudice and Joe Gorga had finally taken the steps towards the slow, treacly path to rebuilding… But then we saw WWHL. So, anyway – Deja-Jersey!
Apparently all things Jersey must end with Posche. #Posche4Life. Kim D has some magic clutches on the producers of RHONJ – I mean how on earth has she roped them into filming her event three seasons running?! It starts with Penny Karagiorgis squaring off against Teresa. Did Teresa tell Penny all about the misdeeds of her sister-in-law Melissa Gorga? Penny says yes, Teresa says no. I say (as does Joe Giudice): "Who cares?!"
Penny reveals she has Teresa's phone number in her phone but there's no proof they've communicated as she doesn't save "texez" – or "Texas" if you're Teresa. Then Johnny, Penny's large, not in charge, husband appears to defend his wife and take Poison down to size (invisible?), or something. He's got texas and tweets galore and he's also got Poison breathing down his neck like a steroid-engineered gnome. Little man feisty. Little man get mad. Little man attack. Rawr!
Melissa Gorga's new book "Love, Italian Style" hit shelves last week and has been getting an avalanche of negative press, not just for the bad writing, but for the terrible advice, too.
Among the pearls of wisdom Melissa andJoe Gorgadispel is that your man needs sex whether you want it or not and if your woman isn't in the mood, just rip her clothes off and make her in the mood. Some critics of the book felt that Melissa's husband calming tactics promoted marital rape! Not only that they called into question Joe's aggressive temper and wondered if it pointed to abuse. Oh my…
Since the Real Housewife of New Jersey star has a book to sell and teenaged girl fans to appease she quickly dismissed the criticism and claimed that her words were twisted by the media for some press. "That word is so disgusting to me and that's horrible," Melissa seethed to E! News.