Kim Zolciak Biermann

Don't Be Tardy recap

With six kids, a chef, and more dogs than I can keep track of, it’s safe to say that Kim Zolciak Biermann and Kroy Biermann like to live in excess. Last night’s episode of Don’t Be Tardy highlights, underlines, and throws a bunch of exclamation points on that excess as we watch Kim continue to push for one more kid, but maybe settle for a puppy instead.

The idea originally pops up thanks to resident daughter/assistant/unofficial Fit Tea sales rep, Brielle. While Kash and KJ adorably wreck the kitchen in an attempt to cook something, Brielle, who previously stated that their house was like a daycare, mentions that it’s time for another dog. Brielle’s highly interested in cross-breeding two dogs until Tracey points out how many dogs are stuck in shelters and need good homes. Brielle doesn’t seem thrilled but will take what she can get and production Tracey pulls a few strings to arrange for the family to volunteer over the weekend.

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Don't Be Tardy recap

OK, Don’t Be Tardy fans, last night was all about getting a crash course in what it means to be a free agent in the NFL. In layman’s terms (if you’re Brielle, please Google what layman’s terms means before going any further) a free agent is a player who is not signed to one particular team. In short, a player who is on the market, playing the field, trying to get that next gig, like Tracey on Tinder.

Guiding us on this little lesson will be the ever-optimistic Kroy Biermann (our free agent) and his still-not-totally-on-board-but-says-she-is wife, Kim Zolciak Biermann, as they go to meet with Kroy’s agent, Buddy. Normally, Kroy not being signed to a team would be stressful but since Kim’s stroke, she looks at the unknown of free agency as one big adventure. Unless that adventure involves living in Green Bay. Or Buffalo (haha!). Or having to live in someone else’s house with their furniture and toilet (paging Teresa Guidice for some much needed foreshadowing).

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Kroy Biermann and Kim Zolciak Biermann

Welcome back to the party, readers! It’s been a few months since we have had the pleasure of watching the Biermann Bunch but never fear, Don’t Be Tardy is happy to make up for lost time with PLENTY going on. Even without the show, we have had non-stop coverage of Kim Zolciak’s stint on Dancing with the Stars, her stroke, and Kroy Biermann’s football trades. But let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves and go back to a simpler time.

In Kim’s world, life is good. She’s 37, not pregnant (for now), healthy, and pouring her heart and soul into Dancing With The Stars. Then she has a stroke out of the blue and has to have major heart surgery. Kim recovers and schedules heart surgery around her DWTS schedule so she can collect that paycheck finish what she started. Oh, and the stroke has given Kim a new perspective on life and what’s important. She has an attitude of gratitude and no longer sweats the small stuff, like if her hair is perfect or if her car is clean. I would like to note here that her hair looks perfect.

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New York Fashion Week - NeNe Leakes in Malan Breton

New York Fashion Week is in full swing and, as per usual, the reality TV stars never miss an opportunity to be photographed. Lucky us. 😉

Above: former (maybe? do I dare dream?) Real Housewives of Atlanta star NeNe Leakes was chosen by Malan Breton to close out his show, wearing a dress worth over ONE MILLION dollars. Why NeNe? “She embodies all women,” gushed Malan. “She really does. I think from my fanbase and other people that I know, she’s the one that’s constantly motivating women to be confident, to be who they are. And, you know, I love the Housewives franchise; I’m friends with so many of them. NeNe’s a very strong person and knows who she is. People admire her so much. For me, as a designer for women, it’s very important to me that women know who they are when they wear these pieces.”

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Kim Zolciak

No, no, no. Just no. Just because you’re good at something doesn’t necessarily mean you have to make into a second (or third, or fourth) source of revenue. Who am I kidding? Of course it does, especially if you’re a reality star, and even more so if you’re a Bravo-lebrity. As I sit at my computer, I can see the bottle of Kim Zolciak Biermann’s Viva Diva sparking mango moscato that sits on my bar cart…a reminder of the perks of blogging and why I love this gig so much. And in case you’re wondering, it’s unopened – surely it will get better with age!

So, I guess it shouldn’t shock me that the Don’t Be Tardy matriarch has her sights set on yet another money-maker. Hocking wigs and wine and skincare while attempting to be a momager to son KJ and her twin of a daughter Brielle isn’t enough for Kim. She wants to be the next Jeff Lewis

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Kim Zolciak & Brielle Biermann

So, I don’t know what you did last night, but I fell down a rabbit hole which caused my IQ to drop to the single digits while perusing Brielle Biermann’s Twitter feed and catching up with Kim Zolciak-Biermann on Instagram. To be honest, I may have been looking at the same person’s social media presence. I can’t tell if Brielle is morphing into her mother or vice versa, but I did a double take on a photo of Kim that I could have sworn was Brielle. Also, take a peek at Brielle’s Twitter profile picture…is it of her or Kim. I can’t be sure…but remember, I’m lacking much of my brain capacity just to bring you this story. 🙂 

The Don’t Be Tardy stars love being on your small screen, but they are both hoping to branch out from Bravo…Kim as a stage mom for the next generation of Biermann babies and Brielle as the most dramatic (and ridiculous) Bachelor contestant ever to grace the presence of Chris Harrison. So, I guess that E! co-hosting gig didn’t work out? 

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Kim Zolciak

As if the Biermann house wasn’t full enough, Don’t Be Tardy star Kim Zolciak has adopted a black lab puppy named Norma Jean.

The Atlanta Humane Society tweeted “Happy Adoption Day” to Kim and Kroy on Twitter, adding, “We’re so happy you found love at Atlanta Humane!” As you can tell by the less-than-thrilled look on his face, Kroy needed to be convinced that adding a puppy to the already crazy household was a good idea. “Yay! We are SO happy for all of you!” they tweeted. “Glad you, Brielle, and Ariana were able to convince Kroy!!” Ha! How long until Kroy offers himself up for adoption?

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kim-zolciak

After a mini stroke gave her a new perspective, Kim Zolciak decided to rebrand herself as a motivational speaker and launched the ‘Ask Believe Receive’ tour to share the secrets of her successful gold digging with the masses. But did Kim cancel the entire thing without speaking a word?

As you recall “Ask, Believe, and Receive” has become Kim’s motto after she asked Jesus for a man with a perfect ass and found Kroy Biermann. Four kids, a successful spinoff, and a stint on Dancing With The Stars later Kim was ready to impart her wisdom. I guess, her Asking and Believing got some Receiving, so it worked – Kim went from being a bewigged mistress of Big Poppa living in a townhouse, to the wife of an NFL player living in a custom re-done house that has her own wig emporium. So Ask and Believe on, y’all! 

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