The “Amnesia Season” came to an end with the women bickering dressed like Barbies. It was amusingly perfect because basically every argument was made of plastic and came from Hong Kong. Eden Sassoon wore a freaking bridal gown from the Disney Princess Collection, stayed up way past her bedtime, ate too many sweets, and then threw a tantrum!
It’s official – sober James Kennedy is most definitely the world’s greatest DJ/reality TV villain/v-neck shirt wearer/bitchy uptight man child. And on part one of the Vanderpump Rules reunion it was most certainly James who won the night for me. Also Lala Kent came back, and it went well! So far…
First, priorities: we must delve into the wardrobe atrocities that always dominate these things. In this category Brittany Cartwright, bless her heart, was the worst offender. She was wearing what looked like a prom dress turned into stripper stage wear – clearly a Pinterest hack gone wrong. Actually Brittany’s dress kinda looked like one of Katie Maloney‘s bridesmaids dresses.
I have to keep it real with you, I shed some unexpected tears during the Vanderpump Rulesseason finale. This whole season, it was difficult to get on board with Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz’s relationship, but they totally drew me in during the wedding episodes. Even Jax Taylor – who had little to no faith in the marriage – cried during the ceremony.
Even though Jax was questioning Tom and Katie’s relationship until they tied the knot, he was actually on deck to officiate the wedding after Lisa Vanderpump initially said no when the couple asked her. Don’t get me wrong, Lisa did a beautiful job, but it would have been entertaining to have Jax – of all people – marrying Tom and Katie. I mean, he had sex with half the bridal party. It would have been hilarious.
The biggest shock from the season finale of Vanderpump Rules was when Lisa Vanderpump approached Tom Sandoval and Tom Schwartz about opening up a bar with her and Ken Todd. Well, it actually makes total sense for Lisa to ask Sandoval since he has been working at SUR for a decade and he has been very reliable. On the other hand, Schwartz has never come through for Lisa professionally, so I can see why he would be scared to accept the offer.
At first, I was thinking to myself, “What are you doing? Just say yes! Who would pass up a chance to start a business with Lisa and Ken?!,” but the more I thought about it, the more I understood why Schwartz would be little bit scared to take on that level of responsibility.
It has been tough for me to find sympathy for Eden Sassoon this season on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, but I definitely felt bad for her after Erika Girardi rejected and made fun of the friendship ring she bought her during the Hong Kong trip. Sure, I felt like it was a little off-base since I am pretty sure that these two had zero alone time the whole season.
Nevertheless, Erika’s reaction was unkind and unnecessary. I have been ride or die Erika Jayne from the start, but it’s tough to defend her antics in Hong Kong. Then again, every human being is bound to have an unflattering moment or two if her life is filmed for months at a time.
Lisa Rinna knows many, many things: she knows Harry Hamlin is a pie-making, grey-haired demigod, she knows that her dog Lola has magical powers of mind control, she knows that shopping saves lives, she knows that if she stands before giant murals of rainbow-colored angel wings she can a least look like she’s good, and she knows that gold is her color. But what Lisa Rinna doesn’t know, and wants to find out, is if Dorit Kemlsey was doing coke in the bathroom. So these are the days of our Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills.
And just think – this is not even the plot of the real-life soap opera Eileen Davidson stars in!
As far as dinner parties from hell, or vacations from hell go, the ladies of RHOBH reign supreme. As they do in so many instances. Hong Kong is no exception. Right after Erika Girardi finishes preaching at Eileen with her Tammy Faye Baker eyes, and just as everyone is finally – finally – tucking into their soup course, Lipsa ever-so-brightly inquires if Dorit was serving cocaine at her dinner party months ago. See Lisa saw things. She saw things that bothered her, but she never got the chance to bring up. As mentioned above, Lisa knows things, like that a good hostess would never leave HER, of all people, at the table while the rest of party disappeared to freshen up. Lisa Vanderpump would never do that!