The lessons of life are hard learned, and Sonja Morgan – executress of the Hard-Knocks School of Life – knows this better than anyone. Sometimes the truth is a bitter pill to swallow and it hurts going down. Sometimes reality is as jagged as the edges of a broken wine bottle.
As Sonja presided over her interns from her UES townhome, all of them looking up at her with searching eyes so full of hope and promise, Sonja shook her head and smiled a misty smile; if only they knew that someday their ambitions would be stuffed in Neimans bag and returned. That they would be deemed unmatchable and undesirable. That the lessons learned in fifth grade would come back to haunt them. That sometimes extending the olive branch only means something if there are olives on the vine.
Real Housewives of New York started out on a beautiful day in Central Park. Heather Thomson and Aviva Drescher are getting together to talk shop. Aviva has something very pressing to impart. She is determined to keep the peace – but more than anything she is determined to be liked by everyone. So, she pushes the childhood insecurities out of her mind and soldiers on.
On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New York drama over London continued. The city that likely paid Bravo to keep Pinot Singer from outside it’s fair confines for fear of what may occur has stood its ground and used Holla Thomson as the first offensive round in protecting its citizens from the wrath of pinot. That’s right, Heather proves that NOT inviting someone on a cast trip actually causes more drama than inviting them. How did she swing this one?
Things begin with a friendly lunch between Ramona, Aviva Drescher, and Carole Radziwill. Carole giggles nervously a lot as if she’s afraid to breathe wrong in the presence of the hair-trigger Ramona who is already on the wine. Was it even noon? Ramona shoves some skincare down everyone’s throats in the form of gifts.
Sonja Morgan was supposed to attend but bailed feigning illness. The girls launch right in to discussing Holla, who “talks a lot” and apparently it’s very hard to weed through a conversation with her. Carole and Aviva seem awkward discussing this given that Pinot approaches a conversation in much the same way. Who exactly were they talking about? Pinot or Holla?
Once upon a time there was a woman named Pinot Singer who thought she knew a lot about everything and thought no one could see through her. Pinot believed her life was like one of those double-sided mirrors where from one side it looked like a window and from the other side it looked like a mirror. She assumed she could clearly see people and they could see only goodness through her eyes.
Pinot believed she reflected goodness, honesty, truthfulness, and pleasant goodwill. Pinot was wrong. Pinot is delusional, but delusion is a powerful drug – more powerful than pinot grigio, that’s for sure!
Last night on Real Housewives of New Yorkthe ladies assembled for a mid-day brunch, everyone but Pinot and LuAnn de Lesseps. Thank goodness. I’m not sure what time it was, but there they all were; this gaggle of desperate famewhores (and Carole Radziwill) all dressed up as if they were going to a nightclub when it was 1 in the afternoon, outside, in a dowtown restaurant.
Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New York was pretty low-key and I have to say after all the recent drama with certain other Housewives shows it was refreshing to watch a show that focused on the lives of rich, fabulous women instead of fabricated drama and petty fights. Well there was one petty fight, but it paled in comparison to other recent fights on other Housewives shows. And really I never thought there would come a day when I referred to Pinot Singer as low-key, and she’s not by any normal standards, but alas the pinot hath frozen over.
Things open with Aviva Drescher and her husband Reed meeting Heather Thomson and her husband for a getting to know you dinner. Over salads, Heather shares that though her husband is the son of a famous rabbi and they practice Judaism, she is not a full convert. No, no… she’s merely Jewish by injection only. Well, since there’s no shots the doctor can give you to make you Jewish, I’m going to assume the injection comes from her husband’s kosher sausage.
Among the other shocking revelations that came over dinner was the lurid story of Sonja Morgan and LuAnn de Lesseps‘ bedroom activities and their proximity to Aviva‘s ex-husband. Boy, this man is busy on the Housewives circuit! Is he going to make his way to other franchises? Apparently Harry attended Heather‘s birthday party (does he know everyone associated with this show?) where it was disclosed (discovered?) that he slept with both Sonja AND LuAnn. When – no one seems to know – but it was presumably after the time when Aviva was married to him. A surprised Aviva handled the news with dignity, but disgust. I don’t know about you, but that would be a little too close to comfort for me!
Well, girls and boys… it finally happened. After months of build-up, Bravo unleashed the New New York and we finally caught a glimpse of Real Housewives of New York without Jill Zaaaaaaaaarin. For those of you who never thought you’d live to see the day – rejoice – but sadly it seems Pinot Singer has hopped right on up into the bitter, negative, biddy role that Jill so recently vacated. Dangit, Pinot!
Last night we were treated to some delightful new blood, and while Sonja Morgan was in good spirits and ready to move on and make new friends but keep the old, LuAnn de Lesseps, Countess no more and Pinot were still circling each other like round the UES rosie with the same old axe to grind. Sonja said the only thing worse than stale brioche at a party is stale guests… well meet your stale guests. Are people still eating brioche?
Things open with LuAnn and newbieAviva Drescher pretending they’re long lost friends and doing lunch. Let’s just call it what it is – they’ve met each other a total of two times and Bravo is forcing them to interact as buddies to stack the odds. The only interesting thing that came out of this to-do was the revelation that Aviva’s ex-husband Harry has quite the active social life - so active that he’s dated and most likely boinked LuAnn and Sonja.
Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New York City Reunion, Part 2: Where The Wild Things Are was equally beastly, equally catty, and equally spiteful as these ladies just cannot stop ripping each other to shreds! And for all the arguing about what a dirty word Class is, I hoped one of these housewives would find an ounce of it!
Things resume with Jill “storming off” the Brunette sofa to prove a point against Ramona snarking on LuAnn’s “weekend parenting.” LuAnn is frustrated that Ramona seems to spend an inordinate amount of time discussing how she raises her children, instead of spending time with her own child; she is also frustrated that Sonja would participate in such a discussion with Ramona. Sonja insists that she defended LuAnn but it was not on camera. Uh-huh – that’s the oldest line in Reality TV, but actually I DO believe Sonja would defend LuAnn, because she seems to be very loyal to her friends.
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It’s reunion time for the Real Housewives of New York! It’s blondes versus brunettes, sofa edition. Bravo has recreated the set for the reunion in honor of Morocco. Ramona is not pregnant, but she could have been…she has young genes and still gets her period. In fact, she’s having it now! TMI, Ramenstration. And let the games begin!
Right off the bat, Andy highlights the season’s many fights, as well as how many times each lady says “it’s the wrong place and wrong time” to have such an altercation. While the season has divided the ladies along a very visible hair color line, Alex pretty much has had beef with everyone. Starting with the gay equality march, Sonja says it wasn’t she who didn’t want Simon to speak at the rally–it was Bleep. Alex corrects her noting that, no, Alex and Simon are dear friends with Bleep, so that couldn’t be the case. Bleep clearly doesn’t want his name or cause walking hand in hand with the housewives.
Kelly is muttering under her breath about how wrong it is that Alex could forgive Sonja for insulting her husband on national television. Kelly tries to give us the timeline of the events leading up to the march, but she seems to be more consumed with asserting herself as a strong personality than actually contributing to the discussion. Sonja and Alex can look back on the fight and think, in hindsight, it had such a wonderful impact on the march because it brought more attention to the cause. Bleep clearly agrees since he’s so eager NOT to have his identity known. Jill tries to paint Simon as attacking Sonja at the march and Ramona disagrees with that characterization. Poor Jill so wants to show a pattern of bullying behavior in Simon!
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On last night’s Real Housewives of New York, aptly titled “Video Killed the Countess,” it’s video time for Luann and her micro-managing sidekick Jill. Cindy forgets her manners with Sonja, and Silex hosts an art party. Ramona goes toe-to-toe with the Countess in a low blow passive aggressive smack down, and Alex may have been a “Fly Girl” in another life.
Luann meets with music producer Chris, video stylist “Jersey” and the poor director who clearly would like to be anywhere else. The Countess needs them to fully understand her vision, and what better way to do that than to keep repeating the phrase, “It always goes back to beauty, class and elegance lies within the soul.” In keeping with that theme, the video will be shot at a casino in Atlantic City, and there will be a Hummer involved. Luann is on board with A.C., but a Hummer? “You know what those are, right?” asks Jersey. Surely this part is scripted, but it’s hilarious nonetheless. The Countess replies, “When I think of beauty, class and elegance, I don’t think of a Hummer.” I bet Ross GellarJacques would beg to differ. Luann would prefer a jet to a Hummer, and the men, who appear to be legitimate music industry peeps, are trying to appease their newest star diva songstress wannabe rapper. When pressed by Luann about his opinion on her song, the director describes it as “great” multiple times, and I’m worried his head may explode.
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