I admit I have not always been a fan of Scheana Marie. She has often come across as self-centered and attention-seeking. If I had to describe her in one word, it would be insufferable. But something has changed this season, and the things that used to annoy me about Scheana, are now endearing her to me. I think she is really struggling this season on Vanderpump Rules. Anyone who has been a single woman in her thirties knows that the struggle is real. It is hard watching everyone else find their happy ever after while you remain alone. I feel for Scheana, and I think she is doing her best to be honest, but it can be hard when the truth hurts.
Through it all, Lisa Vanderpump has always been in her corner. Lisa has supported her through her marriage, divorce, and subsequent failed relationships. Even when Scheana was most annoying, Lisa was there for her. It seems to me like Scheana is especially vulnerable right now. She needs Lisa to be positive for her more than ever. That’s why it is a little surprising to see Lisa speak so harshly to her this season.
Lisa recently spoke about her perception of Scheana on the Vanderpump Rules After Show. “I think that sometimes we don’t know what is actually going on with Scheana,” Lisa explained. “We know what she wants to tell us. I think … people might perceive it as she’s showing us what the audience wants to see, but that’s not it. It’s what she wants to happen instead of what is really happening. That’s my point.”
Ok, so Scheana is trying to project what she wants to happen. To manifest it in her life. Aren’t there whole mantras about this? How positive thinking and visualization can bring about that goal in reality? “Ask, Believe, Receive,” anyone? According to Kim Zolciak, that is how she got a husband and four babies. Some call it positive thinking, some call it delusion. You say to-may-to, I say to-mah-to. It’s a fine line.
Lisa is leaning towards the latter. “So I wouldn’t even say it’s inauthentic because that’s who she is in real life. But is it inauthentic in terms of her being totally honest with herself? That’s where the inauthenticity comes in.”
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So I kind of get what Lisa is saying and how that is annoying. But, really, how many of us are totally honest with ourselves about our lives? Everyone has things they don’t like to admit to themselves. And the girl is clearly having a hard time right now, so maybe she needs some rose-colored glasses to get through it.
For her part, Scheana responds, “The thing about Lisa is she doesn’t listen to me when I talk. She talks at me and she tells me how I feel and it’s frustrating because she doesn’t listen and when she does listen, she assumes I’m lying. She’ll listen and be like, okay, I heard you say all of that but here’s what you’re saying, and here’s what you feel. And I’m like, ‘No, Lisa!'”
I have to say I do understand Scheana’s point here. Lisa asked her how she felt, then immediately told her she was wrong. I have been in that situation, and when someone is trying to tell you how you feel, and it is beyond frustrating. There is no way to convince someone otherwise once they have made up their mind that you feel a certain way.
However, when we put this is in the context of the whole Brett Caprioni issue, Scheana definitely starts to lose credibility. It is hard to believe you on this, girl. Your words and actions do not line up.
Scheana explains, “I told [Lisa] so many times last summer. Did I have a little crush on Brett? Did I think he was hot? Did we make out once? Totally. Do I want to date him? NO! And then Lisa says, ‘Well, I know you do,’ and I’m like, But I don’t! It’s so frustrating because I’m like, I am NOT lying!”
Unfortunately, Scheana is digging herself a hole with this. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.
“I know that you maybe think in the past like with the Adam [Spott] situation or Rob [Valletta] or whatever, that we like down-played something or talked about it too much or whatever,” Scheana continued. “But like right now, here in 2019, at my lowest of lows ever on this show, thank you, here’s where I’m at. I’m being so f***ing honest with you.”
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Scheana DID talk way too much about Rob and she seemed obsessed. She bought Adam and Max Boyens expensive gifts while constantly telling everyone that they were just friends. As if she just likes giving expensive gifts to guys who then never talk to her again. Scheana does not want to be “just friends” until after the guy makes it clear he is not interested in anything more.
This is Lisa’s point about not Scheana being honest with herself. Scheana is adamant about not wanting anything serious with Brett. But she clearly doesn’t like it when he dates other girls and gets mad if he doesn’t call her to check on her after her egg retrieval. Come on, Scheana. That’s way more than just friendship. You know that if Brett wanted to seriously give it a shot, you would change your tune.
Clearly, Scheana is lying when she says that she is happy being single. You can almost feel Scheana’s loneliness through the screen. Her constant insistence that she does not want a man in her life only makes it more painfully obvious how much she does want one.
Scheana maintains, “At the end of the day, I want to make myself happy first because I’ve had 31 years of not making myself happy and doing everything for everyone else. Then I get divorced and I had another year of making someone else happy. Then he treated me like shit. Then I started dating my best friend. It was like, this is the first time I am doing this, and the fact that you’re not acknowledging that what I am saying is my truth is insulting as f*ck.”
The key phrase in that whole statement is her assertion that she is telling “MY truth”. Not THE truth, HER truth. Scheana realizes that she is having to sugarcoat the things she tells herself right now. If she keeps repeating that she is happy being single, maybe she can make it be true.
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Scheana summed it up, “It is just really upsetting because I’m like, stop telling me what I want because that is not what I want! If you’re not going to believe the words that are coming out of my mouth, then why are we having this conversation?”
If Scheana would just be more truthful, I think Lisa and the rest of the cast would be understanding. Yes, Scheana is guilty of being insufferable. She has made some big mistakes in the past and was selfish and obnoxious in her twenties (and is still from time to time). But I think that describes at least 90% of us. I think she is doing her best. She isn’t really lying, she’s just trying to cope. Scheana will always be Scheana, but I think she just needs people to listen right now. She needs to start by fessing up to her true feelings, and I think she will find the love and support she desperately needs.
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WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SCHEANA’S STORY THIS SEASON? DO YOU THINK SCHEANA IS BEING HONEST WITH HERSELF? IS LISA BEING TOO HARD ON HER? HAS SCHEANA CHANGED FOR THE BETTER AFTER ALL SHE HAS BEEN THROUGH?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]