If you crammed any more drama, hijinks, meltdowns, and hysterias (and medical issues!) into this episode of Real Housewives Of Orange County I think it would explode a la Kelly Dodd after 2 cocktails and exposure to a snarky meme. Things would just come flying out, every which way, and the only thing that would be left standing amid the rubble would be Tamra Judge and the two giant inflatable jugs she has strapped to her chest as a bullet-proof vest/getaway life raft.
I literally can’t even begin to dissect all the switching animosities and loyalties, but all I have to say is Tamra is masterful at manipulating these women in a tizzy of stupidity. And Kyle Richards thinks Lisa Vanderpump plays chess…
Last week, the Real Housewives of Orange County stars were in Miami. On tonight’s episode, they had to Key West, aka the place where David Beador may have cheated on Shannon Beador.
Ironically, it seems like Shannon is the one who puts the drama into motion during this Key West trip. She tells Kelly Dodd what Vicki Gunvalson has been up to behind her back, even though Emily Simpson and Gina Kirschenheiter had been in the know. Apparently, Vicki got in touch with a woman Kelly fought with at a bar. Oh, Vicki, she really did what she could to save that orange. Unfortunately for her, it didn’t work.
You guys I’m sorry – I am having Thanksgiving fever and 15 houseguests, and I just cannot get it together with the Real Housewives Of Orange County nonsense today.
Tamra Judge and Kelly Dodd are like your mother and your mother-in-law at the same holiday dinner. They’re not gonna speak or look at each other. But, they are going to viciously jab from all corners until it all comes bubbling to the surface over the way to make gravy or something.
Braunwyn Windham-Burke invited all the women to Miami so they can understand her better. Apparently, we’re now defining our personalities by cities, so Braunwyn is a Miami person. In Miami, she liked having sex with her husband, clubbed constantly, and wore skanky clothes to the grocery store. Whereas in Orange County, Braunwyn has to hide her wild side? I don’t get it… How was Braunwyn doing all this partying in between 52 pregnancies, nursing 19 babies, and also well, ostensibly, parenting? We don’t ever get a clear answer about why they left Miami, just like we don’t get a clear answer about why this is the sad-sack trip RHOC got this season. I blame Tamra because I blame her for everything.
Well, if there’s one thing a Housewives show doesn’t need more celebration of it’s boobs, although I think Real Housewives Of Orange County gave us the first itineration of celebrating boobs that weren’t just used for sex appeal… that is until Braunwyn Windham-Burke whipped hers out at her No More Nursing fiesta.
The theme of this party made absolutely no sense. It was a boobs bacchanalia with strippers, a nipple cake, and dildos on the wall, but Brauwnyn called it a “weaning party” meant to celebrate the end of nursing after 18 years.
Braunwyn’s entire life is reliving the youth she never got to experience, which is ironic only in that Dr. Deb‘s desperation to capture a thwarted youth is the sole reason why Braunwyn resents and hates her mother. So maybe Braunwyn will go on to have an illustrious career as a plastic surgeon specializing in mommy makeover boob jobs? I just can’t with this exhausting woman and her constant need to show off as the hot, fun mom. Enough already!
In the midst of Season 14, a social media post took The Real Housewives of Orange County by storm. And no, we’re not talking about a topless Vicki Gunvalson‘s boobs inadvertently reflected in the packaging of a free pair of Beats headphones. (Well, not this time, at least). No, it was a hiking photo of Shannon Beador‘s ex-husband David Beador and his new girlfriend Lesley Cook locking lips while completely naked. In the wilderness. In the middle of the day.
The post is everything you’re imagining, even if you’ve been lucky enough not to have had it sent to you by a fellow, disgusted RHOC fan: bodies awkwardly smushed together. Unfortunate tan lines. Hiking boots inexplicably still on feet. Naturally, every fan of the show was dying to get Shannon‘s take on the nauseating full moon, and in a new interview, she finally broke her silence.
Real Housewives Of Orange County is all about mommy issues this season, isn’t it? From the women having them with their own mothers (Kelly Dodd and Braunwyn Windham-Burke) to having them with their own children (Tamra Judge and Shannon Beador), to being questionable mothers themselves (almost everyone).
Last night Shannon and Braunwyn tried to navigate sending children to college, Tamra sent Ryan Vieth to counseling, and all that was like blah, blah, blah… yada, yada, yada because the truly horrific, scarring, awfulness was the true exposure of just what a terrible person Tamra is. So much so that I actually feel bad for Racist Ryan.
Tamra has just returned from this truly life-altering and earth-shattering vacation in Scottsdale, AZ where she learned a pivotal message about being the leader of the mean girls: you can never turn your back – not even for a day. Not even for a hike with your husband. In Tamra’s absence, she’s gotten a slew of angry text messages from Kelly, and Shannon is basically giving her the silent treatment.
There’s a new girl out and about in the OC this season. Transformed Real Housewives of Orange County star Shannon Beador is single and ready to mingle after her long, drawn out divorce from David Beador. Fans of the show have spent season after season watching Shannon be miserable in her marriage and also unhappy following her split from David in 2017.
Now, rejuvenated Shannon looks fantastic, is less self-pitying and is not only ready to ride the fun bus, she is driving it to new and exciting places! Shannon shared with viewers last week a unique way in which she might be ready to whoop it up as a new, single lady about town. She had the O-Shot, or Orgasm Shot, an injection that is supposed to increase sexual satisfaction for women. Before having the procedure, Shannon was told that the shot would “heighten orgasms” and give her some “oomph.”
Shannon STORMS Beador is used to things not going her way. When she began her run on Real Housewives of Orange County, her now ex-husband, David Beador, was dipping his chips in someone else’s salsa. Much to the viewers’ weekly dread, The Affair became an entity on its own. We had counseling because of The Affair. We had awkward interactions with David and Shannon’s children, because of The Affair. And we learned nine lemons in a bowl with a side of crystals didn’t do a damn thing to end The Affair.
Ultimately Shannon, The Affair, and David ended their 17-year marriage. Shannon replaced David with the beloved Archie, and David immediately shacked up with another woman. Since then, Shannon has experienced weight gain, self-doubt, and breakdowns as a result of her relationship ending. Thankfully Shannon turned a corner. She started working out. She created her own business. And she started dating! Now as Shannon navigates her new love life, she has to circumvent the old one. But what happens when the two worlds collide? According to Shannon, about what you would expect.