The Bravo gods have answered our (my) prayers — Heather Dubrow is returning to the Real Housewives of Orange County. The news of Fancy Pant’s long-awaited return comes along with some arguably even better news — Kelly Dodd and Braunwyn Windham-Burke are OUT for good. No more Kelly Fraud’s nasty comments and total ignorance. Or Braunwyn’s over-the-top narcissism. Both ladies were eyeing for a return, but the fans have spoken. And Boringwin really uprooted her entire life as she knew it for a TV show that doesn’t want her back. What a shame. Oh, and Elizabeth Lyn Vargas is out after one season, but we hardly got to know her anyway.
The Fancy Pants news is just too much to bear. We’ll finally see the completed Dubrow family mansion. Terry Dubrow, despite duping fans about Heather’s return, will be back on our screens to provide plastic surgery advice and corny dad jokes. And this could lead to a potential Tamra Judge return, but no news has been announced yet. CHAMPS FOR EVERYONE, except maybe Shannon Beador.
I’m not going to lie, I love seeing any bad news about Kim Zolciak and her crew. But back in the very early days of Real Housewives of Atlanta, Kim was a harmless narcissist. Who just so happened to be the mistress to a very rich man. She was entertaining and delusional, which is exactly how I like my housewives. One of my all time favorite housewives moments ever was watching Kim drink a glass of wine and smoke a cigarette in a strip mall parking lot, blasting the original “Don’t Be Tardy For The Party.” All in front of an equally delusional Sheree Whitfield, who commented on what a lovely singing voice Kim had. Of course, those were all pre-wig shifting days.
But Kim ultimately moved on from Big Poppa and created another “one hit wonder” thanks to Kandi Burruss. But Kim’s origin with “Don’t Be Tardy For The Party” ultimately led her to her own spin off. Once Kim met now-husband Kroy Biermann at Sheree’s charity dance off, love bloomed and she quickly became pregnant. Don’t Be Tardy For The Wedding was created and ultimately, she left RHOA to have her own show, Don’t Be Tardy. It featured Kim, Kroy and their gaggle of kids. Chaos ensued. So did plastic surgery. And money was spent. Lots of it. I will never fully understand how they kept up with the lifestyle they portrayed but now we are getting a little glimpse as to why.
Real Housewives of Atlanta might have had a lackluster last season, but it wasn’t always that way. Sure, the days of NeNe Leakes and Kim Zolciak arguing on a tour bus over a one hit wonder are long gone. But I recently did a rewatch of the good ole days. One person stuck out as a true star that carried the show: Phaedra Parks. Drag me if you will, but that woman brought a je ne sais quoi to the franchise.
From calling people “oatmeal pie face” to using phrases like “crazier than a road lizard”, Phaedra brought it all. The off the cuff jokes, the sheer delusion, the notion that she could get away with faking the due date of a pregnancy. She had it all! Of course, Phaedra got the boot for the unforgivable. Sadly, that was the point she had to stop being my favorite housewife. But it does seem as though she has had some time to reflect on her past on RHOA. She even graciously accepted an apology from Kenya Moore for her inappropriate behavior towards Phaedra’s said then-husband, Apollo Nida.
Real Housewives of Atlanta star Kenya Moore must have decided things were a little too calm in her world, so she fixed that… Kenya recently returned from filming the Housewives All-Star special in Turks & Caicos. She hung out with, well, pretty much everyone except Ramona Singer. Allegedly, the Real Housewives of New York star did not return back to the States with a lot of budding new friendships, which tracks for Mona.
Speaking of budding new friendships, it looks like Kenya and Kyle Richards might have bonded over their mutual love for long hair whilst All-Starring. Viewers know Real Housewives of Beverly Hills just kicked off and some old wounds were revisited. Last year Kyle accused Garcelle Beauvais of not following through on a charity donation, which didn’t sit well with Garcelle. Much of the first episode involved Garcelle and Kyle handling the upset like adults, which usually goes against Bravo policy. The situation was over, until it wasn’t, because Kenya decided to start something.
Despite arguably being the OG of OGs, NeNe Leakes’ departure from the Real Housewives of Atlanta was very disappointing. She closed her laptop in the middle of a Zoom reunion never to return, after failed contract negotiations, and rumors of a firing, which led her to forgo her peach. And to put the nail in the coffin, she’s called out the network, Andy Cohen particularly, and has been trying to rally fans to boycott Bravo. No matter how much Marlo Hampton hopes, it looks like NeNe’s time as a housewife really is over for good.
And it’s disappointing because when NeNe was good on RHOA, she was so good. Starting with her feuds with Kim Zolciak-Biermann during Season 1, NeNe delivered reads and one-liners unlike any other housewife from any other city. But it got to her head, which is evident with the demise of her friendship with one-time bestie Cynthia Bailey. While the two somewhat made amends during the reunion, NeNe proved that she let her ego get bigger than the show. And that never works out well, just look at what’s happened to Vicki Gunvalson or Danielle Staub.
The Real Housewives of Orange County is due for an entire revamp after last season’s mayhem. Braunwyn Windham-Burke was doing the absolute most and it wasn’t fun to watch. Some fans even boycotted watching last season because of controversial statements made by Kelly Dodd about the coronavirus pandemic, other women and the Black Lives Matter movement. Despite what Kelly thinks, RHOC needed Tamra Judge and Vicki Gunvalson to whoop it up last season to lighten it up. The new crew of ladies led by Shannon Beador was ultimately a bore with quite a lot of toxicity mixed in there.
And while Bravo is taking its time before making decisions about the future of RHOC, Kelly is still getting into trouble. (And has yet to be officially fired, but even she’s expecting it at this point) But this time around, the trouble has to do with her little dog being vicious.
Dogs and Real Housewives whose names start with “K” apparently just don’t mesh together. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills alum Kim Richards had several issues with her dog Kingsley attacking people, including one of Kyle Richards’ daughters. Kim Zolciak had an incident when her son was bit by a dog. And now Kelly’s poodle Chloe is getting called out for some bad behavior. Like mother, like (doggy) daughter.
Kim Zolciak has been a Bravo darling since the beginning of the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Whether you love her or hate her, she truly made the early days of RHOA iconic af. She was the chain-smoking, bad wig-wearing blonde that always had a glass of wine in her hand and a dream. Her tumultuous friendship with Nene Leakes brought some of the best banter of all time. And while she’s polarizing, she’s always owned up to who she is, especially when it comes to her high-maintenance lifestyle. The scene of her eating pizza while getting stomach fat lasered off is forever cemented in my brain as classic housewives’ material.
Kim’s story was really unexpected. She went from spending Big Daddy’s money to meeting Kroy Biermann and his “tight ass” while the RHOA cameras were rolling. For over a decade now, the match-made-in-heaven has been popping out babies, spending a lot of money and documenting it all on their spin-off Don’t Be Tardy. While I understand everyone has opinions, many not positive, about Kim, Kroy is like a godsend in her life. He loves her children and somehow doesn’t lose his mind with all the over-the-top ladies in his home. And watching their story on the spinoff really was entertaining for a while.
Something leaked into the Bravo water and that is some toxic mess. The past two weeks have given us more drama during hiatus than actual production. Porsha Williams and Falynn Guobadia are about to go full The Boy Is Mine on Real Housewives of Atlanta. Kim Zolciak is permanently tardy for the party and now the party is OVAH. Real Housewives of Dallas star Tiffany Moon has been subjected to racism on social media during AAPI month. What else could possibly happen?
Grab a Kleenex and a soothing tea, perhaps. After a season of nonsense and complete delusion where we learned, SUMMER, FUN, HANNAH BERNER, NOT FUN – the time has come. Let’s all join hands and bow our heads
in thanks, Hannah will not be returning to Summer House.