Our apologies, Italy. Please don’t judge us based on The Real Housewives Of New Jersey visiting your fair country! As the ladies storm into Milan, breaking glasses and acting like a$$es, Danielle Staub finally goes, well…Danielle Staub on everyone. Having no more stale cake to metaphorically drag around, Siggy Flicker decides it’s time to up the ante by calling out Margaret Josephs on her Hitler remarks. Dolores Catania tries to ride the very sharp fence of loyalty to Teresa Giudice and Siggy, while Melissa Gorga pretends to be an entrepreneur as she scours the fashion houses of Milan for feather boas and plunging necklines. Envy needs some sh*t on its shelves, after all.
After packing montages where everyone discusses what an epic disaster the trip is bound to be, we cut to the ladies landing in Italy in one piece. Marge is just glad no one has breathed a word about the Posche fashion show, but Melissa thinks it’s nuts that no one’s discussing the elephant – or in Kim DePaola’s case, the leathery lizard – in the room. In the van on the way to their hotel, Dolores asks what the agenda is? Ladies, it’s time to channel your inner Beyonce and get in Formation! The teams shall be: Siggy/Dolores, Margaret/Melissa, and Teresa/Danielle. It will be a six-women-enter-five-women-leave situation, a la Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. (Except set in a swag hotel rather than a dusty mosh pit.)
Shocking news! Not everything we see on reality television is REAL! Okay, we already knew that, but in Melissa Gorga’s case, made-for-tv-drama is coming back to bite her in a very real way. The Real Housewives Of New Jersey’s former business partner, Jackie Beard Robinson, is filing suit against Melissa and Andy Cohen for besmirching her good name publicly. She’s hired hard-hitting lawyer Larry Klayman to handle the case.
Jackie, who opened Envy boutique with Melissa last year, parted ways with the reality star in January due to differences of opinion and clashing visions for the store’s direction, “specifically about Robinson’s desire to expand selection to accommodate shoppers who aren’t, say, a size 2,” according to the press release. Jackie and Melissa both signed legal paperwork to dissolve their partnership, but since then Melissa is reportedly fabricating a story that Jackie deceived her and actually “stole” her merchandise in the middle of the night. Not true, according to the lawyers!
But first, Margaret needs to redecorate her house. Interior designer Joyce comes over to take a look at the 1960s projection screen and ballrooms-turned-dining-turned-living-rooms. Joe the contractor is apparently not keeping up with Marge’s needs – at least outside of the bedroom. Marge and her mumu want changes NOW! Yes, there will be velvet on the walls! There will be bedazzled curtain rings! And Joyce promises it will be finished before Margaret returns from Italy in two weeks. Also, Margaret wants Joe to know about Kim D and all of her wily ways, as if Joe the contractor gives a flying fig about this phantom menace.
Based on Siggy Flicker‘s weekend tweet-a-thon about her great hatred for Margaret Josephs, I’m guessing things got pretty intense at the Real Housewives Of New Jerseyreunion (did they film it earlier than usual or is the season really almost over?!). And not a pot puss orgasm good kind of intense (disclosure: I have never experienced this personally, I’m taking Margaret’s word for it!).
On last week’s episode, when everyone was arguing about the horrors of Kim D – who admittedly IS horrid (but really fabulously desperately amazing television if you’re into that sort of thing), unfortunately Margaret compared Kim D to Hitler when she said, “Siggy – Hitler woulda not killed me. Does that make him a good person?”
Teresa couldn’t believe that Kim D was trashing her marriage (even though it’s a #TotalKimDMove) and she was miffed that Dolores Cataniaand Siggy Flickeragreed to walk in the Posche fashion show. Now Teresa’s former nemesis-turned-bestie Danielle Staub has a lot to say about that and she’s calling out Siggy and Dolores on behalf of her girl Tre.
It is the most wonderful time of the year! Not only are there great reality TV shows on right now, but also the winter holidays are coming up! This means that your favorite reality stars are getting festive, picking out and decorating their Christmas trees and attending big parties. They’ve shared some great photos for this week’s Instagram Roundup for their fans and followers to enjoy.
The seating arrangement at Real Housewives reunion shows is a pretty big deal. Of course, host Andy Cohen is in the middle, but the couch the women get assigned to sit on say a lot. Usually it shows who’s on which side and the women with the most to say sit on either side of Andy.
The women next to Andy are usually cast members with the seniority or just the women who have most drama of the season. With that said, looking at the seating chart for the Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion, does not make sense for a lot of reasons.
She’s managed to behave herself for long enough – now it’s time for Teresa Giudice to start breaking sh*t in restaurants again! This week on The Real Housewives Of New Jersey, Tre goes bananas when she hears Kim DePaola is spreading rumors about her rumored side piece. But her real issue is with Dolores Catania, who she claims didn’t defend her against the three-headed snake that is Kim D. While Siggy Flicker and Melissa Gorga come to a better place after a “healing” exercise about cake -(yesss! please let this be the frigging cake’s final gasp!) – Danielle Staub silently plans her next move against Dolores. As for Margaret Josephs? Well, she just continues to be kind of awesome.
We begin at Siggy’shellish retreat, where she’s mimicking Margaret in a far inferior sketch than Marge just pulled off. No one is impressed. Furthermore, no one understands how this lame game is supposed to bring them closer together. Essentially, it’s like we’ve all died and gone to corporate retreat team building hell. But anyway, here we are. At least Siggy and Margaret get over the exercise fairly quickly, returning amicably to their spot on the wall of shame. But not so fast for Siggy! Get back in the ring, woman!