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Kim DePaola

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Alright kiddos, so Real Housewives of New Jersey happened so let's all take a break from bashing our heads against the wall to read this recap. I personally would rather go through another drug-free labor than spend one more minute on the Teresa Giudice vs. Melissa Gorga mess, but hey – duty calls. Oh – and in case you haven't heard I had a baby this week! Word to the wise: try to get to the hospital in a timely manner, right Melissa?!! 

Last night Teresa and Melissa put forth another round of she-said/she-said; bobbing and weaving around the ring like two drag queens in a RuPaul's Drag Race boxing challenge. Except the fashionably challenged version! It was sparkly leopard print verbal uppercut blocked by spray-tanned orange fauxmarble encrusted sucker punch. And a low-brow duck followed by a high-brow weave and spin. Before we knew it, fur was flying and Caroline Manzo's front yard petting zoo had died in vain over more of Teresa and Melissa's nonsense. 

Since we're talking boxing – things begin in a gym. Apparently all of Franklin Lakes and its surrounding lower echelon suburbs go to the same gym and NONE of them knew it! Just imagine… no awkward collisions at the lowfat banana smoothie bar ever occurred! Who would believe it?! 

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Teresa Giudice and family celebrate Gia Giudice's 12th Birthday

The Real Housewives of New Jersey has been pretty mellow so far this season, but as you've probably seen in the previews, the drama is back tonight! 

Teresa Giudice celebrated Gia's birthday back in January and the photos seemed to tell the story of a scuffle between Teresa and sister-in-law Melissa Gorga.  We now know that the argument is over Teresa and Joey's father, Giacinto Gorga.  Papa Gorga was hospitalized back in November and Teresa is "interrogizing" Melissa about if and when she paid a visit to her father-in-law. Melissa swears she's visited him soon after, but Teresa insists it wasn't until four days later.  Melissa then adds in that she waited because of a sore throat. They can't even agree on what day Papa G was admitted.  Let the petty shenanigans of season 5 begin! 

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I may be her only fan, but I freaking LOVE Kim D! Bring on the devious drama.

Since Kim isn't an official Real Housewives of New Jersey cast member this season, she's taken to starting her own blog to recap the episodes. 

In her first installment, Kim talks about her friendships with both Teresa Giudice and Jacqueline Laurita, and of course hints at some major upcoming drama. Yay!

"At the beginning of last year my mother was diagnosed very suddenly with lung cancer. It was one of the hardest times in my life I have ever had to go through. Both Teresa and Jacqueline were there for me every step of the way during that horrible period," Kim begins. 

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On last night's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey the Gorgadice battle continued, although the small beginnings of a peace treaty seemed to have been forged. Maybe… 

Things begin in Casa de Giudice. Teresa Giudice is cooking while wrangling four screaming girls. Apparently there is some confustion (Teresa tawk) about who is actually the mama because while Milania is playing on the stove terrorizing some peppers, Gia is lecturing her about safety. Teresa meanwhile is flitting around in full hair and makeup yelling, "O.M.G!"

Teresa says she always reminds her girls to stick together and not end up married to men their siblings hate. Then she gives them a lecture on table manners. 1) Like, don't scream 'prostitution whore' unless the person really is a prostitution whore and has been engaged like 19 times! Like O.M.G!

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Real Housewives of New Jersey has some of the best "extras" in the Housewives business. C'mon… what would this show be without Kim D? Nothing and you know it!

Oh the desperate hanger-ons that will do anything for a slice of Bravo camera infamy. They're nefarious, they're brazen, they will stop at nothing to take down a Housewife! 

As we are T -1 day until the epic premiere, we count down the best extras ever to appear on this show! 

CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR OUR LIST! 

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Last week Teresa Giudice celebrated forty-one and fabulous! 

The Real Housewives of New Jersey star kept things relatively low-key for her birthday (is this a whole new Teresa?) and was spotted enjoying drinks with her sister-in-law Melissa Gorga.

Kim D also posted a photo of her, Teresa, and Melissa together from the same evening. And no – the world did not implode. Shockingly! Teresa celebrated at NYC's STK restaurant. 

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Kim DePaola's birthday bash last night wasn't nearly as eventful as the Posche 2 party, and we're all a little thankful for that today!  Kim's Real Housewives of New Jersey BFF Teresa Giudice and her hubby Joe were in attendance and we've got some of the photos for you! 

The event was held last night at Il Tulipano in Wayne, New Jersey and featured a mini fashion show, as well as Kim D showing off her Cuffs by Kim D line and the soiree was brought to life with music by DJ Cruze. 

As far as we hear, all sinks were left in tact! 

TELL US – ARE YOU DISAPPOINTED THAT NO DRAMA WENT DOWN?

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What happens in Jersey certainly doesn't stay in Jersey, especially when it involves anyone from the Real Housewives of New Jersey!  The big news of late with these people is a recent brawl at a Posche event.  Has Kim D. considered getting corporate sponsors for these fights?  She may as well get some extra money for this insanity, right?

After the bloody incident where Johnny Karagiorgis was slapped in the back of the head by a shoeless Jacqueline Laurita while being jumped by her husband Chris, nephew Albie Manzo, and Poison Gorga, Johnny has now pressed charges…although Albie someone escaped being named.  The fight allegedly started after the RHONJ crowd heard that Johnny was making fun of the Laurita's autistic son Nicholas, an accusation that Johnny denies.

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