Real Housewives Of New Jersey Recap: That’s A Rap!


Real Housewives Of New Jersey Recap:

A very huge thank you to The Marvelous Mrs. Mary for covering the Real Housewives of New Jersey recap last week when I was traveling for my day job. She always calls it like she sees it, and these women require a lot of attention. Finally, Teresa Giudice seems to be getting along with sister-in-law Melissa Gorga and Jackie Goldschneider, the newbie who broke Tre code early on in the season. Jennifer Aydin is still harping on Jackie’s stupid article in the wake of her trip to Turkey. Give it up, already! Does anyone even read this paper they keep mentioning? Sheesh. Even Margaret Josephs has sunk below the fray with her recent comments about Jennifer’s brother’s engagements. Can’t we all just get along? No. I know the answer will always be “no.”

That said, I’d give my eye teeth to watch a Dolores Catania/Danielle Staub smackdown to energize this RHONJ lull! If we can’t have that nugget, I guess I’ll settle for a Marty Caffrey/Joe Benigno Italian grinder seasoned with a Joe Gorga voice of reason. For dessert? A heaping portion of Milania Giudice’s rap debut–mad props to her for having the guts to perform in front of all of those people! I’m full…but these folks are FULL OF IT!

After the women get their kids (and pooches) ready for the day, Jackie has planned a wine tasting for the crew. Margaret, Teresa, and Dolores are the first to arrive to the party bus. As they await Melissa and Jennifer, Dolores worries that Jackie planned this getaway to smooth over the whole article debacle when Jennifer isn’t ready to bury the hatchet. Jennifer pretends to need a potty break so she can get the same tour of Jackie’s house that Jackie received of hers…which only gave her more fodder for that “news piece”. Teresa texts ad hoc fitness coach Frank Catania to see if she can cheat with some vino. He shuts her down. The women joke about Dolores and Frank’s random relationship.

Real Housewives Of New Jersey Recap:

Jennifer announces that she has gifts for everyone from her recent trip to Turkey…except for Margaret. Like Margaret’s comments about her brother’s betrothed, Jennifer got her a mail-order souvenir, and it’s yet to arrive. Margaret claims she was just joking. Nevertheless, she should count herself lucky to be overlooked as Jackie unwraps a dagger that Turkish culture cites as what one would use to stab an enemy in the back.

The ladies toss the dagger back and forth across a moving vehicle arguing about who is more passive aggressive. Then, Melissa reminds them that they are throwing a literal knife. Jackie tries to explain her point of view, and Dolores is quick to jump to Jennifer’s defense. Jackie uses her way with words to craft an apology to a teary Jennifer, who begrudgingly accepts. In order to be okay with making amends with Jackie, Jennifer is going to need a few cocktails….

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Real Housewives Of New Jersey Recap:

…to come for Margaret. Ha! The ladies get a lesson in smelling earthy notes of bitchiness while they down taste after taste. Teresa sits back wishing she could partake. Jennifer goes from zero to a hundred in a matter of seconds. And she’s ready to audition as a back-up dancer for Milania’s music debut. Teresa plays her daughter’s latest track for her friends, prefacing that being in the studio has really helped Milania deal with her father, Joe Giudice’s incarceration.

It’s a catchy little ditty, and it’s so nice to see that thirteen year old (yes, she’s only thirteen, keep that in mind!) Milania is clearly trying to forge her own path in the midst of reality fame (of which she didn’t ask to be a part) and family drama. That takes a lot of guts and deserves respect. Teresa invites her friends to Milania’s listening party.

Real Housewives Of New Jersey Recap:

The women laud Tre for supporting something that many parents would be wary of pushing. Margaret admits that her mother also took an unconventional approach, bringing her along on dates with a married suitor. Um, it’s not quite the same, but I think I understand (I’m lying, I don’t) Margaret’s analogy. Jennifer interjects that this upbringing must be why Margaret can’t comprehend the idea behind an arranged marriage, hence her nasty “mail order bride” comments.

Much like Margaret doesn’t get arranged marriages, Jennifer isn’t on board with extramarital affairs. Ouch. Dolores wishes she had popcorn for this showdown, and Margaret accuses Jennifer of not having lived…and having a husband who may or may not bunk in the pool house. Margaret is definitely hitting below the belt, but Jackie is able to wrangle the conversation back with a sensible speech.

RELATED: Real Housewives of New Jersey Star Margaret Josephs Dishes On Danielle Staub Drama & Relationship With Dolores Catania

Real Housewives Of New Jersey Recap:

Teresa has been invited to dinner at the home of (former) newlyweds Danielle and Marty. Danielle rolls her eyes as Marty raves about married life. They’ve provided Tre with some clean eating, and she’s fresh from a visit with Juicy in the clink. She refuses to think about him being deported. Teresa invites the couple to Milania’s listening party. They are on board until they hear that Margaret is also invited. Danielle flies off the handle.

RELATED: Real Housewives of New Jersey Cast Member Danielle Staub Sold Wedding Ring To Pay For Lawyer; Lindsay Lohan Denies Hookup With Jax Taylor

If Teresa only knew how much Margaret talked shiz about her, she would want nothing to do with the pig-tailed loud mouth. Teresa is shocked to hear this news, and I’m not sure she should believe it. However, Danielle runs with Teresa’s small amount of doubt. Across town, Margaret and Jackie are shoe shopping. Jackie shares that she wants to reconcile with her estranged sister. She welcomes Margaret’s advice and hopes for the best. The duo recaps the drunken wine tasting. On a hike, Dolores and Jennifer do the same. Margaret and Jennifer each find the other’s behavior to be juvenile. Meanwhile, Jackie and Dolores try to mitigate any unnecessary drama.

Real Housewives Of New Jersey Recap:

Melissa joins Teresa at Milania’s rehearsal, and we’re reminded of Melissa’s “music career” that Tre cites as “not her thing”. Regardless, Teresa is mildly happy that Melissa is present to support her niece. The women compete as stage mom/aunt, so Teresa and Melissa give her some space to practice without their suggestions. Teresa reveals that she is nervous about her fitness competition. So, she wants to plan a girls’ trip (with lots of drinking!) after she’s walked the spray tan runway. The Gorga girls dish on the rift between Margaret and Danielle. However, Melissa refuses to believe that Margaret has talked the load of crap that Danielle claims.

RELATED: Real Housewives of New Jersey Star Teresa Giudice’s Family Vacation In Jamaica- Photos

The following morning, Teresa and Milania are prepping with their glam squad for Milania’s performance. Teresa’s daughter feels bittersweet knowing her father won’t be able to watch her debut. This little girl is a literal rock star for being a preteen who puts all this emotion out there for the world to see. If you disagree, don’t comment. Just remember what it felt like being that age and NOT having a camera crew in your face all the time. I’m not asking for a favor, I’m telling you. 🙂

Real Housewives Of New Jersey Recap:

Before her big performance, Milania admits to her producers that she is incredibly nervous. They surprise her with an introduction to Fetty Wap, her rap idol. She’s close to tears and ready to prove herself as the guests start to arrive. The purest moment is when she hugs cousin Antonia asking if she caught a glimpse of Fetty Wap. It’s a sweet reminder of just how old these kids actually are.

Leaving behind the innocent excitement, the cast is together for the first time since Danielle’s Bimini nuptials. There is going to be a showdown of epic proportions before the night is over. Teresa takes the stage to introduce Milania alongside her producer. Milania takes the stage and Tre is bursting with pride, as she should be.

RELATED: Teresa Giudice Says She Made Real Housewives of New Jersey What It Is; Kim Zolciak Claims She “Walked Away From Millions” On Real Housewives of Atlanta

Gia memorializes every last second of her high energy performance on her iPhone, and the child is swarmed by her friends after finishing her song. Her family is over the moon. I hope I don’t have to remind folks again, but there is absolutely no place in this site’s comments section to do anything other than uplift a kid who is trying to realize her dream. Got it?

Real Housewives Of New Jersey Recap:

Teresa proposes her post-fitness booze fueled girl trip to her crew. Margaret wonders if Danielle is invited and decides she’ll just book a room on the other side of the hotel. Melissa wants to be transparent. As Danielle approaches the group, she questions Margaret about Danielle’s claims that Marge talked smack about Tre and Melissa. Margaret denies that statement, and Danielle accuses her of lying.

From their discord, it seems that Danielle is twisting Margaret’s words, and who is shocked to learn that? As they argue, Marty, Joe, and Joe are having a similar conversation in the corner. Marty insults Margaret’s insecurities as a reason why she’d never want to be in a room with his gorgeous ex wife. Then, Gorga pulls Benigno aside and reminds him that this is Milania’s night. It’s not the time to break Marty’s face. Jennifer blindly defends Danielle, but Dolores interrupts to remind the crew that Danielle has a history of lying. Melissa finds herself in between two friends as Margaret excuses herself from the event.

RELATED: Margaret Josephs Teases “Glasses Breaking, Crying, Screaming, & Pushing” On Real Housewives of New Jersey Cabo Trip


[Photo Credit: Bravo]