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The Real Housewives of New Jersey Margaret Josephs, Jackie Goldschneider, Melissa Gorga, Teresa Giudice, Dolores Catania, Jennifer Aydin

It has been about 80 years since the last season of Real Housewives of New Jersey. If you’ve been wondering what most of the cast has been up to during the RHONJ hiatus, you can ask any local New Jersey plastic surgeon. We might need name tags for the first few eps, until we figure out who everyone is.

The Season 11 trailer has dropped and it is full of drama… intrigue… and… so much hairspray. Thankfully Teresa “I’m Single And It Will Be Painfully Obvious” Giudice still has that gentle, lilting voice that could put you to sleep like a lullaby. Melissa Gorga will return to defend her marriage, so nothing new there. Jennifer Aydin comes back, committed to her lip liner and tequila. Will this be the year Delores Catania offers more content than agreeing with Teresa? It’s time to find out.

It looks like the majority of Season 11 will revolve around marriage complications. And if you aren’t already married, your job will be to incite and spread rumors accordingly. People has a look at what’s head for RHONJ. We begin with everyone’s favorite thing, FORESHADOWING. Margaret Joseph’s voiceover says, “Everyone’s marriage can look absolutely perfect on the outside.” And then we hear Melissa, “But guess what? Things aren’t always what they seem.” And these are the Days of Our Lives

Someone on the show will be accused of infidelity. SHOCKING. Thinking Teresa won’t imply Melissa is stepping out on Joe Gorga is about as likely as Tre owning her role in the fraud case that sent her to camp. As Dolores reminds us, “Anyone can be a cheater.” She would know. But wait! It could be Jackie Goldschneider’s husband that has a wandering eye. There’s no better time to cheat on your wife than when she begins starring on a reality television show, amirite?

 

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In one scene, Teresa says, “Why do I hear rumors, like when he goes to the gym he screws around,” as the camera turns to Jackie and her husband. Just because Teresa previously denounced anyone who suggested her marriage to Joe Giudice was anything less than perfect doesn’t mean she can’t do it to everyone else. Then we see Teresa planting the seeds of storyline in Melissa’s garden. “Last night, the owner of the restaurant asked Melissa for her number,” says Teresa. “They’ve been texting all day.” Is it possible to text someone of the opposite gender and manage not to be sleeping with them? Should we call Italy and ask Juicy Joe?

Naturally we segue into Joey Gorga saying to his bride, “Be careful what you say, because I’ll never talk to you again,” in what I’m sure was meant to be a menacing tone. Hang in there folks, it won’t all revolve around everyone’s relationships in shambles. Tre is out on the prowl and wants her peach kissed. Ugh, never ever again will I enjoy fruit. Yes, buckle up, we’re going on Teresa’s single-woman journey.

 

RELATED: Real Housewives Of New Jersey OG Teresa Giudice Says That Her New Man Louie Ruelas Is “The Best Thing To Come Out Of 2020”

 

Real-life issues will be tackled too. Dolores has a biopsy scare and Jennifer is, well, drinking a lot. Marge says, “Every time I see her, she’s drinking something, inhaling something…” Excuse me, what? She’s “inhaling” something? Asthma medication? Food? Powdery substances? There’s a brief montage of Jennifer enjoying her cocktails and one scene is especially touching when she appears to kiss the floor with her entire face.

Remember the new RHONJ cast member? Me either! But we get a glimpse of Michelle Pais. Michelle gets involved by telling Jennifer her husband worked with Joe on an event, but never got paid. Honey, join the club. Somehow this turns into a Joey Gorga vs Juicy Joe fight sans hair in a can. We have come full circle with both Joey and Melissa throwing food and yelling at Teresa for never having their back. Joey adds extra sauce by shouting, “HE [Juicy Joe] PUT MY MOTHER IN THE FUCKING GRAVE, DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND THAT?” I guess we’ll have to wait and see if Teresa fucking understands that or not.

 

RELATED: Caroline Manzo Says Teresa Giudice Is Still Mad She Didn’t Have Her Back Against Melissa Gorga

 

Are we no longer looking for Melissa’s secret sister? Does Margaret have a new name to go with her new face? Will small animals be at risk of deafness due to Teresa’s voice? Season 11 of Real Housewives of New Jersey premieres Feb. 17 on Bravo. Check out the Real Housewives of New Jersey trailer below.

TELL US- ARE YOU EXCITED? WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE TRAILER? DOES JENNIFER HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM?

[Photo Credit: Rodolfo Martinez/Bravo]