Coming off my post-Christmas slump to deal with Real Housewives Of Atlanta makes me a bit cranky. Now I don’t know about y’all but I really don’t care if Phaedra Parks owes Todd Tucker money. I’d rather talk about Kandi Burruss rocking the h-e-double-hockeysticks out of over-the-knee sequined boots at 6 months pregnant. And I’d also like to discuss Kenya Moore‘s latest fake-a-date.
Kenya and Marlo Hampton hit the gym because this is totally 2000 and that’s where you meet men. Or cows. But not poopers. They’re playing with balls when James walks over to flirt with Kenya. James checks some of Kenya’s boxes: Tall, handsome, fit – but he’s too young and is but a mere personal trainer. They have a totally awkward, phony flirtation that results in a date. I was distracted by James smiling with his lip over his teeth and was waiting for them to expose scary teeth. But they weren’t scary at all.
Later Kenya and James meet to play basketball. Kenya wears a baby blue outfit to send subliminal hints that say, “Sperm donor.” Kenya isn’t sure if she wants a second date with James because he’s too young (and seriously this date was more awkward than one of those stupid male model photoshoots they always force uponAmerica’s Next Top Model contestants), but she’d totally turkey baste him in an alley, y’all!
I hope our Reality Tea family is enjoying a wonderful holiday week, with full bellies, fuller hearts, and a snarky outlook for what reality shows have in store for us in 2016! Real Housewives of Atlanta has had a crazy season thus far, and it can only get more insane after the most recent installment. Proving that no housewives can take a vacation without horrific drama, the RHOA ladies getaway to Miami was anything but fun, restful, or relaxing. In fact, it was downright hard to watch thanks to Tammy McCall Browning’s nephew Glen losing his shiz and slamming his aunt to the ground while trying to get to Kenya Moore after she told him to leave. Tugging on a wig is one thing, but battery is anything but entertaining. Take note, Bravo!
In her Bravo blog, Kenya espouses on the week’s episode with her own headlines, just in case you didn’t catch her theme. She begins, “MESSY–Many people accuse me of being messy. If you say something on a reality TV show with cameras recording you that you don’t want people to know about or ever repeat, don’t go on a reality TV show talking about people… Now that’s messy! You can call me messy, and at times I am. I own that. However, what I won’t do is look the other way when I see a potentially dangerous situation for myself, my friends, and cast mates.”
There’s nothing a reality star loves more than an instagram feed to get a little attention outside of their regularly scheduled TV show.
Below is Reality Tea’s list of the most outrageous, interesting, exciting, scandalous, fun, or just plain bizarre selfies and instagram photos of 2015. From Farrah Abraham‘s plastic surgery mishap, to the wildest moments, and of course about 2 million bikini pics!
Above, bizarro world’s collide when Luann de Lesseps partied with former President Bill Clinton. “What a thrill and honor to meet the wonderful #presidentbillclinton last night at Birthday Party for @hillaryclinton,” the Real Housewives Of New York star shared. I guess we know who’s getting the Countess’ vote!
Below, are some of our favorite selfies and instagram moments from 2015. Enjoy!
Phaedra Parks isn’t afraid of putting self-proclaimed new queen of delusion bee Kenya Moore on blast, and she spent some time in her blog this week doing just that! Right or wrong, Phaedra is still convinced that Kenya’s “fears and poor communication skills” turned a sticky situation into an all-out brawl in Miami. The Real Housewives of Atlanta lawyer also discusses her thoughts on the plight of black men – and specifically black youth – in this country, and why the Miami incident sparked conversation about deeper issues.
Phaedra reflects on the Miami scene: “Everything happened very fast. One moment we were all having fun and in a split second things took a disastrous turn. Initially, I was shocked and stunned, but when I saw Tammy [McCall-Browning] on the ground, I sprung into EMT mode and went to help her. I took her pulse, checked her breathing, and determined she did not need CPR, so I just stayed by her side until the ambulance arrived. It could have been much worse.”
From Porsha‘s twerking to the terrible edit job to Glen‘s behavior, this week’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta was hard to watch. (Newsflash RHOA Producers: reality TV is supposed to be fun, not exhausting!) Thankfully, both Kandi Burruss and Kenya Moore took to Twitter and Instagram to fill us in on what the edit failed to show.
When asked by a viewer if her opinion changed after watching the show, Kandisaid, “I feel he needed to leave. Calling us bitches & hoes & acting crazy…. hell naw. He needed to go.” She added, “There were a few more things he said that they are not even showing. Crazy!”
The Real Housewives of Atlanta’s resident pot-stirrerKenya Moore is not letting her age or marital status stop her from keeping her eyes on the prize, a bouncing baby boy or girl. Kenya recently revealed her plans to undergo invitro fertilization in her quest to join the ranks of mommyhood.
The 44-year-old former beauty queen first made her surprising announcement last year on her highly rated reality show. On one of the episodes, Kenya had a few friends and family members over for dinner when she heralded, that she might need a larger home for herself. Baffled loved ones were then given the news that Kenya planned on expanding her household to include a child. “I’m going to have a child. I have an appointment to see a fertility specialist,” the dramatic diva coyly stated. Instead of being met with ecstatic enthusiasm, Kenya was faced with varying degrees of skepticism on as to whether or not, she can actually fit the unending demands of motherhood with her full schedule. One friend retorts: ‘You’re a busy person. Having a child takes time and patience. Do you have that?’ Kenya’s Aunt Lorie, who helped raise her, then lays down a boom by posing the question, “Why do you feel that you want to have children so badly?” Kenya then forlornly responds, ‘I’m so tired of not having my own family.”
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Honestly I don’t know what to say about last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta. Sorry this is late by the way – I was re-playing the ‘Glen Gets Slammed Into The Wall’ scene on repeat until dawn.
Somewhere Glen Rice Jr. turned to the very dark side. Either he’s a drunk, rude, out of control jerk; or he’s a rude, out of control jerk, but alcohol (+ Kenya Moore?) made things worse!
I think we can ALL agree we’re not getting the whole story from Bravo. Based on the women’s reactions, Glen’s 0-60 psychosis, plus the 3 mobile refrigerator units that appeared out of nowhere to practice their sumo skills on Glen and living room wall, I’d say some serious SERIOUS information got lost on the editing floor. Right next to Porsha Williams‘ couth, dignity, and trophy wife status! (Did she REALLY admit to a golden shower on television last night? Really?!)