Sonja Morgan

Just in case The Real Housewives Of New York didn’t have enough tequila during the first night of their trip, Bethenny Frankel decides to free them from their resort habitat to drink straight from the agave fields in the town of Tequila itself! It’s like a Housewives birthright trip, wherein they head back to the ultimate power-source of all Bravo drama. Luann D’Agostino [de Lesseps], champ that she is, rallies from her multiple falls in time to partake, as does power-napping Dorinda Medley. The only question before Bethenny’s outing is this: Will Ramona Singer be murdered in her sleep by the house staff allowed to go?

The morning after Sonja Morgan and Ramona tore through rooms like Hurricane Crazy, the group awakens to a new day. Dorinda and Luann are practicing yoga on the patio while Carole Radziwill is inside demanding bean-free huevos rancheros. Luann is relieved to be alive, and without a scratch to boot! Tinsley Mortimer is giddy over the enormous bouquet of flowers delivered to her from new boyfriend, Scott. She’ll have to stick a pin in that joy for now, though, because there are fights to be had! Namely, between Ramona and Bethenny.

Oh. My. God. Mexico had no idea what was coming! Because when The Real Housewives Of New York decide to invade your country in the name of booze research, you need to erect a wall around them. Last night, Bethenny Frankel’s tequila-inspired adventure sailed right into crazyville, where Ramona Singer (whose face suddenly resembles a grated radish) took room-grabbing to new levels, Luann D’Agostino [de Lesseps] tumbled drunkenly into bushes and concrete patios, and Tinsley Mortimer accused her benefactress of being a traitor.

We begin with the group arriving in Mexico, where Bethenny already has the sh*ts – or the flu – or spontaneous diarrhea in response to staring at what little skin remains on Ramona’s face (courtesy of a chemical peel). Carole Radziwill is looking forward to Taco Bell and to congratulating herself on her matchmaking skills with Tinsley and Scott. They are an official item! The ladies play “marry, f–k, kill” in the car on the way to their rental, then take a gander at a stray d*ck pic Sonja Morgan received on her phone from a wrong number. If anything, this is an omen of things to come.