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Let me ask you guys something serious: do you think Jax Taylor knows anything about relationships? Yeah, yeah he married Brittany Cartwright, his now-costar on Vanderpump Rules but he basically took an Instagram to Vegas nightclub relationship and calls is a marriage. And a super dysfunctional one at that. Okay so let’s also stop for a second and go through his past “relationships”. I use that term loosely.

There was “I am the devil and don’t you forget it” Stassi Schroeder, who he cheated on multiple times and constantly fought with. There was Carmen who….ummm…wasn’t even with him long enough to make any lasting impression on me so let’s skip her. Next was Laura-Leigh, who he dumped outside of her AA meeting. #justice4laura-leigh. But she got a movie role and promptly disappeared from VPR forever and who could blame her? He also hooked up with Kristen Doute, which he denied until she outed him and got backhanded for it. Finally we come to his flirtation with Lala Kent, which was a big did they/didn’t they have sex. Lala later confirmed that she did not, in fact have sex with Jax but this gal isn’t buying it. I personally just think she’s too embarrassed to admit it, which would be understandable.

I guess one could argue with all of these dalliances under his belt, Jax is the perfect person to talk about relationships. Or one could argue that he is full of failure and knows nothing. Take a wild guess as to which side of the fence I sit on. To me, Jax is a serial dater and he just so happened to find someone who would put up with his s**t, so he went ahead and married her. Plus, there were a bunch of TV cameras there and tons of publicity so I’m sure that didn’t hurt either.

So despite being what I would consider a stain on marriage and relationships in general, Jax has decided to dish on which of his castmates’ relationships will stand the test of time. Please note, he does not mention his own and that’s probably because we all know how that’s going to end up. I give them 3 years. Anyway, in a video interview picked up by Us Weekly, Jax tells us, “I’m really good at predicting this stuff. I’ve rarely, rarely ever been wrong on this show. I can’t even think of a time I’ve ever been wrong.” Excuse me while I judgment snort uncontrollably.

 

RELATED: Stassi Schroeder Says Vanderpump Rules Cast Was More Vocal About Jax Taylor & Brittany Cartwright Pastor Controversy Than What Was Shown On TV

 

Jax dives right in with the negativity, starting with Ariana Madix and Tom Sandoval. He laughed, “There is no relationship. I have no ill will toward either of them, I just see them as roommates. Glorified roommates, who hook up occasionally.” Jax elaborated, “I think Tom wants to have kids, I think he wants to get married. I think he plays the whole, ‘Oh, I don’t need that’ … [and] I think that’s bulls—t,” he explained.

Jax continued, “I think in the next couple of years, something’s going to happen. … I don’t think it’s going to last that much longer. I don’t know.”

Jax said, “I hope … I don’t think it’s going to last forever.” Nice way to talk about your friends. Moving on.

Next, he targets James Kennedy and Raquel Leviss, who we all know he isn’t exactly fond of. He doesn’t hold back either, “I’m utterly shocked it’s lasted this long. I personally don’t think it’s love,” Jax said. He declared, “I think he’s got a good situation in his relationship. I think he controls it and I think he likes that. Raquel, as sweet as she is, is just along for the ride.” At least he didn’t shade poor Raquel too hard.

 

RELATED: Tom Sandoval Responds To Rant From Jax Taylor; Says Jax Was “Angry & Projecting”

 

Finally, we come to Scheana Marie and hotty hot Brock Davies. Jax said of the two, “I love Scheana to death and I love Brock. I think he’s a great guy … I’m sorry, guys, but I just don’t think it’s going to last. But I’ve tried to put myself in her shoes and being like, ‘Look at all these guys. Look at my friends getting married, engaged.’ You know, it’s got to be tough to be around. Her and Kristen need to be single for a while. They’re extremely co-dependent, both of them. They both love to take care of their men, which is awesome, but they just need to take care of themselves.”

Fine, I will hand this one to him as much as it pains me. Not only is he right (ugh) but it appears that Scheana and Brock have already broken up, with both of them deleting all of their pictures of each other from social media.

 

RELATED: Vanderpump Rules Star Jax Taylor Says Kristen Doute “Loves Being Miserable”

 

So, there you have it. Now maybe Jax can go back to minding his own marriage (for now).

TELL US- DO YOU THINK JAX’S PREDICTIONS ARE RIGHT?

[Photo Credit: Bravo]

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