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Below Deck Mediterranean Kiko Lorran-2

Welcome back to another week of Below Deck Mediterranean: Docked Edition. That’s right yachties, we are still stuck on the dock. Which is basically every charter guest, captain and real yachtie’s worst nightmare.

This week, the crew’s third charter remains all tied up with nowhere to go. However, that doesn’t stop the charter season — or the drama — from creating waves aboard The Wellington. From Chef Kiko Lorran being tasked with a nearly insurmountable challenge to Hannah Ferrier and Bugsy Drake finally confronting their lingering tension from charter seasons past, the episode does a decent job of serving up the smoke and mirrors to distract us all from the fact that this boat’s not leaving the harbor. 

After last week’s beach picnic went bust, things on this charter are not looking good. The shore crew is scrambling to break down the tent and remove all glass bottles from the beach. Malia White is distracting the primary with water toys and dog photoshoots. The other guests are grumpy.They’re ready to go back to the boat, but for some reason the bosun isn’t answering her radio aboard the tender. Is she ignoring it? Are they out of range?

We never get a definitive answer as Hannah scrambles to arrange cars to take the guest back to the boat instead. Oh and one more thing. The charter guests have invited their new friends from the club the night before to join them back on The Wellington, adding four more bodies to the evening’s plans. As the chief stew says, “the whole thing’s a complete clusterf**ck.”

 

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Below Deck Mediterranean Malia White Kiko Lorran

Meanwhile, poor Kiko is spiraling in the galley. He’s planned a high-class six-course meal for the final evening of the charter. But here’s the catch: with four extra mouths to feed, he has to make a grand total of 72 plates for the dinner. Did he order enough provisions? He’d planned ahead for 8 guests, not 12. Will he have enough time?

The last time the chef plated six courses was in a restaurant with the help of eight other chefs. He’s never done it aboard a yacht, especially not with Captain Sandy Yawn anxiously looking over his shoulder. The pressure is officially on and Kiko’s reputation is on the line. Will he be remembered as the next Mila Kolomeitseva? Or will he rise above them all and become the greatest chef in the annals of Below Deck Med history?

It’s all hands on deck in the kitchen, with Bugsy in particular stepping up to help Kiko stay organized. Hannah is the first to say she doesn’t like her second stew as a person. Frankly, she doesn’t understand why Bugs would choose to come back after all the drama they had during Season 2. (Umm, for the record it’s that Bravo paycheck and loyalty to Captain Sandy, honey.) However even she’s forced to admit (via confessional) that Bugs is a more-than-capable second chief stew. Oops, Freudian slip, Hann?

 

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The evening’s 72-plate dinner arrives faster than Kiko would’ve liked, but he’s planned an impressive culinary journey with six courses from around the world. As the stews begin service promptly at 9:30, it quickly becomes evident that the chef has knocked it out of the park with this multicultural feast of epic proportions. Here’s a rundown of Kiko’s “International Menu.” Prepare to be impressed:

Below Deck Mediterranean

First Course: freshly shucked oysters with a tangerine sorbet (France)
Second Course: moqueca, again…Kiko loves his moqueca (Brazil)
Third Course: shrimp and peppers (Spain)
Fourth Course: teriyaki broccoli with roasted salmon (Japan)
Fifth Course: filet mignon with white truffle risotto (Italy)
Sixth Course: bacon ice cream with apple confit (U.S.A.)

The dinner could not have run more smoothly: the guests are blown away, or at least satisfied. The crew cannot deny the chef’s brilliance. Even the ever-micromanaging Captain Sandy is impressed, declaring the chef’s bacon ice cream worthy of a Michelin star. Kiko is officially a star. Perhaps even one of the brightest in the Below Deck pantheon of chefs. Eat your heart out, Adam Glick.

 

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The next morning, the charter that never was finally comes to an end, and the guests disembark onto the dock they never left. Hallelujah! At the tip meeting, Captain Sandy is glowing in her critique of the crew. She particularly compliments Kiko for his feat of excellence the night before, as well as Hannah and Bugsy for, you know, not killing each other.

However, the one downside of the boat never hitting the open sea is that the primary’s tip is $3,000 less than the  average, clocking in at only $1,277 per crew member. Divided by 72 plates, that means every dish Kiko served only earned him a measly $17.75. Unacceptable! Insanity! I vote the rest of the crew donate a portion of their share to Kiko as charter MVP! Who’s with me?!

 

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Below Deck Mediterranean Jessica More Rob Westergaard

Now that they’re off duty, the focus of the episode shifts from Kiko‘s food to the crew’s relationship drama. Jessica More shows off the kissy photoshoot she had with Rob Westergaard, but Hannah is quick to throw the proverbial ice water on the budding romance. Just the night before, the handsome deckhand posted an Instagram Story of another kissing picture…this time with his girlfriend back home.

Suddenly, Jess isn’t sure what to believe: is Rob is single or is she being played? Meanwhile, flirtations are also heating up between Bugsy and Alex Radcliffe, much to the chagrin of Pete Hunziker, who’s still sending creepy sexts to former second stew Lara Flumiani.

 

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Later that night, the crew heads to Palma for a wild night out. At dinner, Shameless Pete claims to be missing Lara, but is blatantly envious of the banter happening across the table between Alex and Bugs. Meanwhile, the rest of the crew turns the spotlight on Rob and Jessica, with Hannah coming right out and asking the deckhand whether he’s in an open relationship.

According to Rob, there’s nothing going on between him and the girl in the Instagram post. He claims he wouldn’t be canoodling with Jessica if there were, even though his relationship was an “open experience.” That answer seems to satisfy Jessica. At least for now….

At the club, Hannah pulls Bugsy away from Alex to have a much-needed heart-to-heart about their hatred for one another. Both are pleasantly surprised at how well things are going between them. Hannah can’t believe her nemesis would want to work under such a lousy chief stew again.

 

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But, Bugs wisely points out that there’s no power struggle happening, and chalks it up to both having done some growing up since their days aboard Sirocco. Both agree to move forward with their fragile alliance, though I’ll be taking bets on whether it will last through the next charter.

Below Deck Mediterranean Alex Radcliffe Bugsy Drake

Finally, it’s time to return to The Wellington for the night. Back on the boat, Rob and Jessica shack up in his bunk for the second time, (s)exiling Kiko to the stew’s messy cabin while Hannah laments to Malia about her corporate boyfriend just not understanding the rigors of a charter season. Meanwhile, Bugsy and Alex move their flirtation to the hot tub, where they’re so drunk (in love?) that they don’t even seem to care that the water’s ice cold. This is where I have to make a confession. You guys. I’m kind of loving Alex? In the way I’d love an adorable, hairy, tattooed teddy bear?

At first I dismissed him as Creepy Pete‘s fellow Jersey Shore castoff, but between this week’s episode and his adorable appearance on Watch What Happens Live, the deckhand is quickly growing on me. OMG, do I have a new Bravo crush??

 

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The next day is turnover day and there’s plenty of work to be done to prep for the fourth charter. Bugsy doesn’t remember much of the night before — other than Alex‘s shrinkage in the icy hot tub. Plus Party Pete continues creeping Bugs out with his gross locker room talk about “banging stewardesses” and “c*ck-hopping stews.” On a much more emotional note, Rob wakes to celebrate 10 years of sobriety.

However, it’s a heartbreaking moment as Rob breaks down in his confessional remembering his mom, who died as a result of her addiction. Then, in the episode’s final moments, a crash is heard off-camera. Suddenly, a sobbing Jessica runs to the kitchen holding her hand. As Bugsy runs to help, the third stew tearfully reveals she’s smashed her finger in a door and it might be broken. And with that, the Below Deck Mediterranean episode cuts to next week’s preview. Way to go out on a cliffhanger, my yachties!

 

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TELL US –WERE YOU IMPRESSED WITH CHEF KIKO’S 72-PLATE FEAST? WHO ARE YOU SHIPPING MORE: BUGSY AND ALEX OR ROB AND JESSICA? WILL HANNAH AND BUGS’ TRUCE SURVIVE THE NEXT BELOW DECK MEDITERRANEAN CHARTER?

[Photo Credit: Bravo]