Stassi Schroeder had Kyle Cooke as her most recent podcast guest. Kyle is the blonde guy from Summer House who compared Stassi (in her turtleneck swimsuit) to Steve Jobs. âThat scene made my year,â Stassi laughs. Kyle actually wore a turtleneck to the interview.
Apparently, Kyle is more than just a drunken womanizer! Heâs a businessman who is starting an app to provide dating advice in 2017. Stassi quizzed him, and they dished on their disastrous âhook-up attemptâ in Montauk, some behind-the-scenes Jax Taylor gossip, and Kyleâs various business ventures. (Yes, he already has products for the Bravo Home Shopping Network!).
Kyle is very well-spoken and sounds thoughtful and intelligent. I actually enjoyed listening to his perspectives.
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On the Turtleneck Hot Tub Scene, Kyle acknowledges he was a mess. âAt the time it was a drunk compliment, but I wanna help you make white turtlenecks great again,â he jokes. âI went down in a blaze of glory. I donât know if it was glory â it was a blaze of something. I wasnât tying to diss you or put you in your place, I was literally trying to flirt with you.â
âYouâre really not a douchebag,â Stassi agrees. âI mean you can be, but youâre a really cool person.â She adds that Kyle has âkind of have Patrick Bateman vibeâ (From American Psycho) and teases that he totally looks like he could murder someone.
This is a compliment, by the way. Kyle confirms heâs heard that comparison before. And also young Robert Redford.
RELATED â Summer House Premiere Recap!
Kyle had no idea Stassi had just split with Patrick when they met. âI had such high hopes for you that day. I was newly single. I had major anxiety about it. When we finally got in the hot tub, Iâm like, oh â fâk this is the kind of shit I was nervous about. You terrified me! You made it so hard for me to get back out there,â she laughs.
âWhen I watched that hot tub scene, obviously some cringe-worthy moments,â Kyle admits. âPeople, generally speaking, seemed to have thought it was funny. And thatâs really all I care about. I love making people laugh â even if itâs at my own expense.â
Kyle swears he doesnât have âgameâ with girls, tries to be himself, and insists, âGuys love over-thinking this shit.â Stassi is shocked.
Kyle was planned to start a dating app at one point, and joined âall of themâ as âfield research.â After everything he learned, now heâs decided to start an app coaching women on how to use apps to date, starting with critiquing the photos they submit to dating profiles â the first impression! (I think heâs serious about this? Itâs an interesting ideaâŚ)
He explains, â9 out of 10 girls think theyâre picking their best photos and theyâre not at all.â Kyle warns to avoid group photos and says modeling photos should be âused sparingly,â especially if youâre not actually a model â also, no SnapChat filters.
Stassi bemoans dating in LA, which is impossible because everyone âthinks theyâre a model.â
âAnd now I feel like everyone is because theyâre Instagram models!â she continues. âAnd theyâre all 19.â Stassi relays an anecdote about meeting a 19-year-old model at a party who was so cool and funny it made her lose hope. âThis is whatâs out there?! This is what guys can get?! Whoâs gonna want a washed up 28-year-old?!â Kyle reassures her, and they joke that 32-year-olds are true actual ancient lost-causes. (Hmmm⌠sounds like Stassiâs hatred of Lala has some rootsâŚ)
Stassi has been kicked off Raya â again â for talking about Raya. âRaya can suck a dick!â she exclaims. Kyle was âwaitlistedâ on Raya for not having the âcredâ of an Instagram profile. From guys he knows who are on it, Kyle says, âIt sounds horrible.â And is filled with vapid wannabe models and trophy wives constantly trying to connect.
âIt was horrible,â agrees Stassi. âI loathed it, but it was like my only outlet because Iâm not, like, that social when Iâm in Los Angeles. I just like being at home. LA sucks! Youâre never really meeting people.â Kyle believes itâs so much easier to meet people and go on dates in NYC. (I actually agree. OMG â LA).
Stassi also got off Bumble, because she doesnât want to write the guy first. âI think it sets the tone⌠that the womanâs gonna have to pursue. And I donât have the energy.â Stassi gets anxiety over phones, texting, social media, etc.
âI canât do dating in 2017! It fâking sucks,â Stassi laughs. Kyle complains about the cost of âdating budgetsâ with first dates, and Stassi chimes in that first dates are exhausting.
âFilming a reality show, doing a podcast, then doing press â all I do is talk and talk and talk. The last thing I want to fâking do is go on a first date and talk some more. And I donât actually feel like listening to anybodyâs lame stories,â she rants. âI havenât been on a date in like months because Iâm too tired. People really are boring.â
Stassi describes coffee dates as terrible. She and Kyle are both totally against them for being too sober and boring. They collectively joke, âIf you donât drink⌠then donât talk to us!â Her other deal-breaker is gym selfies, and launches into a story about Jax.
âWhen I was dating Jax he used to post them, and I would hack into his Facebook and delete them. And then we would just get in major fights 24/7 because then he would re-do them, and then I would just hack in again. Itâs like âYouâre a reflection on me â can you not look like a dick?â It just looks like Iâm dating a douchebag, which I wasâŚâ
Kyle defends Jax as âa good guyâ and wants to know if he still posts gym selfies. Stassi imagines he does, and decides, âBrittany doesnât seem like the âhackeryâ type, though.â
In another Jax story, âOnce we got into a fight I hacked into his twitter and I renamed it â@Mr. Stassi Schroeder.â Then I took his credit card and bought myself jewelry. That was my fave. Our relationship was worse before there even was a show.â
âJax and I get along civilly now,â Stassi clarifies. âNow weâre friends. Iâm friends with every single ex except for the one who tried to sell my sex tape.â
Moving onto Summer House, she laments that the cast is so outrageous itâs made her job harder. âNow Iâm gonna have to up my game,â she laughs to Kyle, âcause you had had sex on camera!â
Kyle confesses he wasnât thinking about it at the time. âI kinda have to remind myself Iâm not doing a porno. Yeah, the cameras are always there.â
âI would have to be on like mad-amounts of Xanax if I was filmed 24/7,â says Stassi. Kyle has never taken Xanax â he also doesnât smoke weed, because it doesnât chill him out. Stassi is aghast at this. She loves Xanax and smokes weed before bed. âThatâs how I go to sleep,â she reveals.
Stassi then talks about âediblesâ (aka, pot you ingest) â she always takes them before she flies. Stassi recounts her experience with âweed tea.â The bottle contained 10 servings, so she was pouring a little bit of the weed tea into her regular tea every morning. Kyle is confused (he thinks pot is to make you relax), so Stassi explains, âItâs like a wake-you-up-kind of whatever. I just wanted to try it â Iâm a newly Stoner Stassi.â
The day the tea ran out, Stassi learned it was concentrated the hard way.
âOn the last day, I had a full day of interviews [for Vanderpump Rules] and then I had to go do press right after. I didnât realize that I was supposed to be shaking [the weed tea]Â the whole entire time, so when I finally got to where I was, I couldnât function. I lost, like, my motor skills and production had to come pick me up and drive me around. I threw up in the back of a Bristol Farms, in a dumpster. Like, it was the worst day of my life. They were able to sit me up for like 20 minutes and then I was like so out of it they were like âCan you talk about how youâre high so if we air any of this it doesnât look like youâre fâking insane.â It was the worst.â
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Kyle wasnât impressed. They then play the worldâs longest game of âWould You RatherâŚâ and close by discussing Kyleâs other endeavors.
Kyle has a line of shorts for guys who donât want to wear underwear. Not kidding. Heâs also working on a weight loss app which he promotes to Stassi as âmaybe more up your demographicâs alleyâŚâ cause SUMMER BODIES 2017! Itâs called âFenix.â
You can listen to the full interview here.
Tonight is an all new episode of Vanderpump Rules and the âofficialâ kick off of Summer House. Join us here in the comments to dish!
TELL US â WOULD YOU TAKE DATING ADVICE FROM KYLE? WHY IS STASSI STILL SINGLE?
[Photo Credit: Instagram]