The holidays came early this year! Whatever you celebrate, it was Festivus for the rest of us because we were treated to a truly wonderful gift, courtesy of one Curtis James Jackson III, better known as 50 Cent. In what has to be the most entertaining version of an East Coast/West Coast feud, 50 revealed that he is a viewer of Vanderpump Rules. While this may surprise some people, it really isn’t that much of a stretch seeing as Lala Kent’s fiancé, Randall Emmett, produces projects that involve 50. Or is it Mr. Cent?
Our saga began when 50 Cent posted a clip from Pump Rules on social media. In a segment with Stassi Schroeder, Lala shared, that she let Randall to “hit it” on the night they met. Lala reaped the benefits of her “feminist” ways, receiving expensive gifts courtesy of Rand. She works hard for the money, so hard for it, honey! This ticked off my new best friend 50 because #ALLEGEDLY Randall had previously borrowed $1 million scrilla from the actor. But don’t cry for 50. His ability to retrieve loaned funds now has executives at Captial One rethinking their methods of collection.
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away a foolish princess sat in her WeHo walkup, and pledged her love to Jax Taylor, a pile of mashed potatoes that sometimes took on human-esque features and pretended to have a heart, but mostly just oozed brown puss. This princess of purgatory is Brittany Cartwright and on last night’s Vanderpump Rules she had an engagement party
This party seemed like it was supposed to be a wedding, until producers decided to drag out the drama by turning it into an engagement party last minute. Like they expected a huge blowout where Brittany’s dad confronted her about what an insipid ass Jax is. Or Jax and the Toms got in a fight with Brittany’s brothers. Instead, the biggest drama was Scheana Marie crying in a corner because Adam Spott rejected her adopt-a-penguin apology gift.
Also Ariana Madix nervously confronted Lisa Vanderpump‘s about treating the Toms like grownups because then, like, maybe they might, like, act, like, one. Or Tom 1 will at least.
Lala Kent has been very open about her sex life with fiance Randall Emmett. On one episode of Vanderpump Rules, she told Stassi Schroeder about the first time they met. She auditioned for an acting role, they went out after, and as Lala so eloquently put it, she let him “hit it on the first night.”
She revealed, “I let him hit it on the first night and we were inseparable. He would just send me really expensive gifts. The first night we banged, I got a car the next day. He was like ‘Do you want a Range Rover?’ and I was like ‘Yeah.'” So who bought that car? Was it Randall or did he pay for it with borrowed money from 50 Cent? 50 Cent claims that Lala’s man owes him $1 million dollars. And he has been extremely savage with his Instagram trolling. Turn on some post alerts. 50 is really going in.
Vanderpump Rules star Lala Kent has been all over the map this season. Her emotions have been spinning wildly, and not even a swig from her baby bottle can help Lala calm down. Our favorite SUR hostess has been in a dark place since the death of her beloved father.
Lala melted down in spectacular fashion at SUR, after Raquel Leviss mentioned Lala’s father. Lala raged at Raquel and Billie Lee. She also saved some choice insults for former friend James Kennedy and let him know how lucky he is to have hooked up with her. Sigh. Best of all, Lala was sporting a dress suspiciously like the green Versace that Jennifer Lopez wore to the Grammys– only not as cool.
My guess is when you guys think about “true love”, no one from Vanderpump Rules comes to mind. Perhaps visions of Mike and Carol Brady fill your head or Princess Leia and Han Solo… But I’m definitely not picturing Tom Schwartz getting the verbal beat down from
owner wife, Katie Maloney. Visions of Tom Sandoval and glorified roommate Ariana Madix certainly don’t fit. Shall we talk about marriage-bound Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright? No, we better skip them too. Oh, hang on a second, we cannot forget Lala Kent and Randall Emmett. Those two are the epitome of what a REAL relationship looks like. I think we can all agree that Lala would 1,000% be with Rand if he weren’t rich and a Hollywood producer. Because Lala typically goes for men with 19 chins and children from previous relationships. #sorrynotsorry
So who will be next to put a ring on it and start heading down the aisle of permanent togetherness? Even though, Tom 1 and Tom 2 are historically the happiest couple on the show… The Toms do have an idea, but if you ask me it’s more the result of what cast members are left over. Ain’t nobody thinking someone will marry Kristen Doute, like ever. So Stassi, you’re up girlfriend.
Last night’s Vanderpump Rules was the prequel to the season finale, which means the bulk of the episode was spent finally FINALLY giving Scheana Marie some attention and something to do besides machine gun laughing at her own jokes. Of course Scheana wasted all this prime real estate on
Marina del Rey whining about Adam Spott and going on a fake date to make him jealous which obviously backfired like a rusty pickup in a PCH traffic jam!
The other half of the episode was dedicated to Brittany Cartwright‘s family visiting from Kentucky for wedding dress shopping and giving Jax Taylor the third degree. If Jax gets out of this marriage alive he’s leaving with a rat tail, less than half of his savings, and a ripped plaid shirt wrapped around a cold beer can that he’s holding to his temple. Don’t fuck with no redneck daddies! (I’m from West Virginia so I know full well how this goes!)
In the column of things I never thought I would say, Vanderpump Rules star Lala Kent’s biological clock is ticking. And she wants to be a mom sooner rather than later.
Is she sure that’s not just her internal rage ticking away? Waiting for the moment when someone makes a statement that has her flying off the handle at work.
Vanderpump Rules star Lala Kent has been turned up to eleven all season long. You’d think she would be happy now that she’s an honorary member of the Witches of WeHo. But instead, she’s had one meltdown after the other. And her wrath has been targeted at her former best friend, James Kennedy.
Lala and James used to be inseparable. They genuinely supported each other in their friendship and artistic endeavors. James even kickstarted Lala’s
non-existent career as a singer. But times have changed. Now Lala has a non-existent career as an actress. Just don’t say her fiancé Randall Emmett got her there. So, does Lala still support James and his career?