Things begin with a sauced up and (spray on hair'd up) Joe Gorga charging the brother-in-law who destroyed his life, Joe Giudice. These people are the living embodiment of a soap opera, only not as devious and calculating. Except for Melissa… So anyway, Poison charges at Juicy and unfortunately Juicy immediately drops him and begins punching him.
Poor Melissa Gorga leaps on top of Juicy to try and pry him away from her precious little husbanito. "Teresa, help your brother!" she screams.
Teresa Giudice is gonna help alright - girlfriend is grabbing her purse, hightailing it out of there, and telling the producers to call the cops. Fire up that party bus cause mama is fleeing the coop! Just kidding, a panicked Teresa bellows to someone to call the cops. Doesn't Juicy have enough felonies?! Do not call the cops, but do get the mace! Or at least some Fabellini to subdue these people.
Back inside fight club, it takes all of the remaining Gorgadice (and Wallpaper) family members to pry Juicy off of Poison. Or Poison off Juicy – I really couldn't tell who was up and who was down at that point, except Melissa, who was shrieking and scratching.
After mentioning it in her book everyone on this here very earth seems to believe Albert Manzo likes his ladies on the side… like in the apartment he keeps at The Brownstone. With Caroline angling to move to a Hoboken apartment this season and Albert being perfectly content to never see her again stay where he is, Caroline is again being plagued by cheating rumors!
Caroline explains that sure, Albert may have cheated, but what if she cheated too?
The Bravo heavy hitter has seen a drop in viewers since the premiere of season 5 which pulled in 2.84 million fans, but this week they managed to climb back up to a whopping 2.7 million (last week was just 2.1). I can't wait to see what the numbers will be after the Joe vs Joe vs everyone brawl actually airs this coming Sunday!
Princesses Long Island hasn't been able to break that 1 million mark since its premiere episode, so it'll be interesting to see if Bravo goes forward with a season 2.
Hollywood Exes proved that making the move to Sunday nights was a bad, bad, bad idea! The show premiered its second season last week on Monday night to an impressive 1.7 million viewers tuning in. However, they made the move to Sunday this week (the new permanent night) and lost almost half of their audience, plummeting to just 895,000!
I've said it before – spread it out! I'm so tired of the networks trying to cram SO many shows in on Sundays! Give us some other shows to look forward to the rest of the week! Hopefully VH1 will see the error in judgment and they'll announce a night change.
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR THE BREAKDOWN
Dang someone is getting more chances than Lindsay Lohan and his name is Joe Giudice!
The Real Housewives of New Jersey star's trial for identity fraud has been postponed yet again and this time the official re-set date is October 28th! Joe's trial was supposed to begin last week but his attorney was detained on a murder case that ran long so he petitioned to have the date pushed back. The prosecution, who is ready despite finding new evidence against Joe, was fine with the delay.
Just a reminder, Joe is charged with "wrongfully using identifying information of another person, a second-degree crime carrying 10 years in prison, and forgery, a fourth-degree crime that carries an 18-month maximum prison sentence. He is currently free on $50,000 bail."
"I have no idea why some of my own family members said the things they did on this episode. It's beyond hurtful. Kids are supposed to be off limits, but they talk about mine. Marriages are supposed to be off limits, but they talk about mine," Teresabegins. "As much as Melissa likes to talk to everyone about me trying to break up her marriage, I have never, ever done that and I never would."
Now, the women bring out the worst in each other (how cringe-worthy was it last week when Jacq was screeching on the phone in the middle of that boutique?), and the claws come out both on the show and on social media.
This week in her Bravo blog, Jacqueline addresses why she didn't check herself into that insane asylum go on that retreat and responds to Joe Guidice's comments about autism not being a bad disease since some sufferers end up being scientists. That Joe–he's got a way with words, doesn't he?
Good lord last night's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey was a rare and special breed of ridiculous, wasn't it? So the Gorgadice families went on some silly retreat to put their problems behind them and rebuild. Except it was more passive aggressive blaming and whining from everyone! Yay for something new and exciting.
Things begin over at Casa de Gorga, amid the crumbling faux marble and the collapsing gold-plate archways they are preparing for the big retreat. Melissa Gorga and Poison are doing their vacation dance ritual and getting into the groove by busting some J. Faux moves and encouraging their kids to dance. "Stripper in the house," Poison bellows as his three-year-old twerks, while daddy erratically humps and grinds the air. Yeah! Shake your moneymaker kids. Great parenting…
Antonia helps mommy pack and decides among the must haves are a bible and a stuffed unicorn. Makes sense, unicorns because it would be an absolutely fairy tale to imagine these families getting along. And a bible because you never know who may need an exorcism on a RHONJ trip. All signs point to Teresa!