Last night was part 3 of the Real Housewives Of New Jersey reunion and it was officially the end of an era. Teresa Giudice, headed to prion in a few scant months, told Andy Cohen this was probably it for her – she meant it – she seemed at peace and ready to move on. “I 80% regret doing the show and 20% don’t,” she admitted.
Teresa didn’t go into why she regrets it, but I think we can all surmise that one of those reasons was sitting to her left in a white dress, and the other two were backstage pretending to be pure of motive, while eating cannoli, and the third one was in the green room having his 5th or 6th glass of rotten egg smelling wine; tawking too loud and laughing a bit too convincingly like everything was OK. Now sure, Teresa is mostly sowrry she got caught defrauding banks, but I think she’s mostly mostly sowrry that she’s realized how much she has to lose. Mostly her dawters – she wishes she could take them with her because she’ll miss them so much.
Teresa says her favorite memory on the show was Audriana being born in season 2. And when she gets out of jail she doesn’t think she’ll be back – instead she wants a cooking show. I do not think Teresa will be back. I think she will get a spinoff, of that I am positive. Will she take that spinoff? Who knows. Yes, she’s broke. And I also think this the perfect time for Bravo to wipe the slate clean and completely start afresh with all new women. Sowrry Melis!
It’s too little, too late, but legendary financial guru Suze Orman is administering some advice to legendary financial frauder Teresa Giudice! Like, remember that penny you found in the bathroom at the Real Housewives Of New Jersey reunion? Save it! Like, duh!
I kid. Most specifically Suze is advising all women – based on what happened to Teresa – not to blindly allow their husbands to control the money. Know what is going on in your family’s finances. As you recall, Teresa and Joe Giudice have both claimed he was the ‘mastermind’ (AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!) behind their 41 count financial fraud indictment and Teresa was just an innocent player in signing her name to whatever document he put in front of her!
“It’s a prime example for women, that if they don’t think the behaviors of somebody that they are involved with financially-speaking is going to affect them, I’m here to tell them they’d better watch what’s happening,” Suze states, explaining the situation Teresa found herself in, leading to a prison sentence and her businesses to collapse as a result of the negative publicity.
“I kind of meant what I said on that couch — this show is so f—ed up. As I sit and watch the reunion, I wonder what goes through people’s head sometimes. Bobby literally spitting on me as he screams at a friend of 10 years, Jim whipping out his files and then of all things says I have a fat ass, LOL! For what? Fame? I literally sat there saying to myself time and time again, “What the hell am I doing here?” Again, not ever saying I’m too good, but just different.”
I personally have been digging into this story, since we’ve been hearing so many conflicting reports, and the Signature Apparel Bankruptcy fraud case involving Jacqueline, Chris Laurita, and his brother, Joseph is raging on – no matter how much Jacqueline wants to pretend it’s over and done with!
The Lauritas, the former owners of Signature Apparel, LLC, are accused of misappropriating company funds, to the tune of $8 million, for personal use – including vacations, cars, private jets, homes, and shopping – but then filed bankruptcy in 2009 to avoid paying back debts. At that time Signature Apparel was also boasting millions in revenue. Creditors protested the bankruptcy to the trustee, who after investigation, then filed a claim against the Lauritas, resulting in years of court back and forth for the Real Housewives Of New Jersey stars.
Are my eyes deceiving me?!? Has Amber Marchese written her shortest Real Housewives of New Jersey blog of the season? Yes, I think she has. Thank you, Jesus! In the blog, Amber schooled us about what happens at a reunion, questioned whether or not Dina Manzo has a heart, defended her use of “The Cancer” ad nauseam, and sided with Jacqueline Laurita in the messy Laurita/ Manzo family feud.
“Hello Housewife friends,” exclaimed Amber. “Welcome to the jungle baby! My first reunion was a wild ride. Call me sick and twisted, but I had an unbelievable time at the reunion when most, I have been warned, dread it. I felt like it was ‘The Great Purge’ and when I went home I felt relieved of any built up tension. I don’t care if anyone has a grudge against me, my slate is clean and I harbor no ill feelings towards anyone. I love to argue my point, and I truly stood by all of my convictions this season, so I was ready to say exactly what was on my mind, and then some.”
Dina and Jacqueline have already spent oodles and oodles of time telling us how they feel on twitter, through the haze of wine and cat hair, each of them accuses the other of lying. Unfortunately 140 characters (even when you tweet over and over again!) just isn’t enough. I do wish we could limit wine and delusion in the same manner we limit twitter type-age, although it’s usually user-abuse that causes the issues (i.e. tweeting constantly.).
Jacqueline Laurita wasn’t able to attend the season six Real Housewives of New Jerseyreunion, so she took to Twitter to share her thoughts on the topics as it aired. Ugh. Raise your hand if you’re shocked. “Not on the reunion but I’ll probably tweet during it,” she tweeted before the show. Probably? HAHAHA!
Last night the Real Houewives Of New Jersey reunion and these girls came prepared to bring their solid gold-plated fambly drama. Really – is there any person on RHONJ that doesn’t have some seriously intense and Lifetime Movie family issues that should not be meta-solved on reality TV? It’s looking like Amber Marchese is the only one, but then again, she has The Jim so maybe not!
But last night all the drama centered around the two famblies that put the thieves in Thick As Theives but certainly not the thick (Lapband as thieves doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it?!): the Manzos and the Gorgadices.
Teresa Giudice is headed to prison and she’s still living in a delusional world cause she is a delusional girl. She and Melissa Gorga have a little tension-y about whether or Melissa texes Teresa or called her after she got her sentence. Glad in this terrible time Teresa can still focus on the important things like pettiness! And Dina Manzo, bless her heart, she’ll defend Tre to the bitter end because like duh – murderers aren’t going to prison but “good girls” like Teresa are. Do good girls steal from banks? Does Dina have a different dicktionary than I do? “Good: a person who is like nice-ish and only occasionally like breakes the lawr but who makes really good spaghettis from ingredientzes that are zenny and who defenses me against my horrible sister-in-law.” Dina is a caring friend, but good friends don’t let friends be totally f–king delusional!