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LeeAnne Locken RHOD reunion

Last night was part two of the Real Housewives Of Dallas reunion which also marked the official end of season 3. I have to say of all the Real Housewives franchises, this one is still my favorite.

Sure, Real Housewives Of Dallas could use some tweaking – like please no more Brandi Redmond vs. LeeAnne Locken feuds dominating every season Whew! We have had enough! Having LeeAnne and Brandi become BFF would be totally insincere and producer-driven. I’d like to see them settle into an acquaintanceship where they can have fun together socially (or at least be civil) and leave it at that.

I’d also love to see D’Andra Simmons go back in time and recognize it’s a wig she’s wearing on her head, not a crown, so there is no need to start petty drama with LeeAnne! Those two are much better as friends. They balance each other and have a great dynamic. This season D’Andra got too big for her britches and LeeAnne’s britches already have L’infinity egos. 

Overall this is a great ensemble cast. NO, it is not ‘The LeeAnne Show’!.Each woman brings their own vibe to the mix, which provides a lot of interesting perspectives. Plus the relationships are very real. At this point very few Real Housewives groups can say this. I’d love to see them bring in another ‘society’ (OH NO! I used Kameron Westcott‘s most hated word like ever) woman to see how that impacts things. Or I’d love to see another friend of Stephanie Hollman‘s join the group. Except Stephanie said most of her friends ostracized her after she joined the show. Dallas sure has some screwed up priorities!

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With that said I think the second part of the reunion left everyone in a decent place for next season. No one came off looking horrible. Mama Dee was a good voice of reason to provide some closure for LeeAnne and D’Andra’s figh. Even though I think D’Andra has done some really awful things to LeeAnne this season, I would like to see these two rebuild. A long friendship is not a thing to waste over a reality show. Just ask Brandi who almost threw Stephanie to the sacrificial lions over a BLOG. I mean, girl…

So we learned something very important, you guys, Kam-er-on loathes the word “so-ciet-teeeee.” I mean, like, she wishes she could just call AT&T and have it removed from like her iPhone dictionary, cause like it’s so icky. Like supermarket dog food baaaad! Also, it only exists in D’Andra’s imagination. This is from Kam. Who spent this entire season complaining that D’Andra was getting herself iced out of society based on inappropriate K-Cup usage. Kam who had her mother-in-law do an intervention with D’Andra which included a lecture about playing with the right girls on the playground lest she find herself having playdates in a trailer park instead of a mansion.

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Cary Deuber

Right on the heels of Stephanie reminding them that there are people starving in this very country while they’re bickering about whose family has the most clout, Kameron goes on her little ‘I hate society’ tirade. There are literal crickets. Just dead air. Like you’d think there was some sort of outage if not for the close-up of Stephanie’s shocked eye roll. Kameron, we love you, girl, but you sometimes be a liar, intentional or not, girl. Still, the delusion on this show is so earnest and amazing.

Kameron also takes great offense to anyone pointing out that there is a dichotomy between what is unacceptable for D’Andra (jokey K-Cup dance and some shots) and what LeeAnne is allowed to do (wipe the floor of a rodeo with her hair, blow job jokes on TV). D’Andra is obviously a society friend. Those different rules for different friends is a nice way of Kam saying she considers D’Andra her social equal. LeeAnne is to Kameron what Brandi is to D’Andra. And Kam isn’t going to admit this because that would sever her friendship with LeeAnne. So how many of you think the ‘friend’ Kameron’s MIL Jimmy warned against is Brandi!?

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There is also no doubt in my mind that both Kameron’s mother-in-law and Mama Dee use both Kameron and D’Andra as puppets. They are both victims of Stockholm Syndrome. I’m sure LeeAnne has a whole Wikipedia page in her bookmarks on this phenomena, or we could call AT&T for answers…

Kameron Westcott

The irony of all of this is Kameron and D’Andra are literally fighting over society, yet both claim to abhor society and all its trappings. Like Kameron is incensed that D’Andra keeps mentioning how she “married into the Westcott family” implying that she “grew up in the ghetto.” Like Kameron grew up in Montecito with “a veeeerrry well-to-do family!”

No one is claiming Kameron grew up next door to Brandi, but I think the point D’Andra was trying to make (poorly) is that she has been stuck on this hamster wheel for almost her entire life whereas Kameron made a choice to join through marriage. D’Andra is tired of wearing this heavy ballgown when all she wants to do is jump on a mechanical bull and do some shots.

Also, Jimmy Westcott should have a couple seats, because one of her sons has been in the news for some scandalous behaviors himself! #GoogleIsYourFriend

The feuding between D’Andra and Kameron has opened up a trove of exposures that is delightful! Like do we think D’Andra told Kameron that LeeAnne accusing her of only having $200 was “golden” because now viewers could relate to her? I think yes. In a drunken moment, D’Andra would say that, but I’m not sure when she’d do it in Copenhagen because Kam and D’Andra weren’t even on speaking terms until like the last day. It backfired though.

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She overplayed her hand by bringing it up constantly as if LeeAnne exposed a shocking secret love child or a hidden third boob. I certainly don’t think LeeAnne told Cary Deuber this out of the goodness of her heart, but D’Andra attempting to leverage it as a reason to fight with LeeAnne was stupid. Also, no one wants to believe D’Andra only has $200 – we need our Housewives rich, thank you, and plenty of other franchises have let us down in that department!

D'Andra Simmons

Lastly, LeeAnne is asked if D’Andra is the ‘black sheep’ of the Simmons family since there are two Simmons branches in Dallas (Two Simmons brothers, each super rich, but they were best friends). LeeAnne stupidly answered yes. Why? Why involve yourself? D’Andra fires back that LeeAnne has no right to comment, as she’s not part of Dallas society.

If you Google “D’Andra” you’ll see that she was very, VERY much a part of this scene, and nowhere in those old photos do I spy LeeAnne (although Kameron and Cary are both there). That’s because LeeAnne is considered ‘the help’ to society people. She is the one fetching drinks, coming early and staying late to manage organizational details, and borrowing their castoff dresses.

So is Kameron afraid of LeeAnne? D’Andra says yes because LeeAnne is sitting on secrets about all of them, while Kameron claims she’s heard (from LeeAnne) that D’Andra has a file on each of them. I actually think BOTH are true! D’Andra and LeeAnne both love dirty tricks! I don’t think Kameron is afraid of LeeAnne, per se, but recognizes LeeAnne makes a better friend than an enemy. Like Stephanie said: Kameron doesn’t want to jeopardize having her family dragged through the mud over LeeAnne’s unhinged mouth.

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Kameron is loyal “to a fault.” She is certainly almost always in lockstep with LeeAnne, even saying things that seem to come directly from LeeAnne’s mouth. As pointed out by StephanieLeeAnne has made progress (aka she’s found more ways to make excuses for her behavior), but she is still doing plenty of unacceptable things which make her untrustworthy.

Maybe someday LeeAnne will learn that making an excuse is NOT the same as taking ownership. Identifying the problem and fixing it means not blaming your amygdala when you get drunk and spill your friends’ secrets or accuse someone you don’t like of being an alcoholic. And by spill your friends’ secrets I mean like exposing D’Andra’s past issues with addiction because you’re mad at her over Brandi. You can’t do intractable things to win a reality TV war. That was D’Andra’s news to reveal. Ultimately D’Andra does share that at 29 she spent three months in a Mexican rehab for cocaine addiction, and then left the LA lifestyle behind.

D’Andra also had NO RIGHT to accuse Rich of cheating on TV. That was awful, low, and uncalled for. She doesn’t even have an inflamed amygdala to blame! D’Andra claims two of his ex-wives contacted her to say he was cheating on LeeAnne, but who is gonna believed spurned exes without better due diligence, DAAAANDRA!? D’Andra only brought this up after she saw no progress on wedding planning. She worried something was up. So, um, D’Andra do it OFF CAMERA! It doesn’t look sincere if you confront your friend on a park bench, wearing the world’s ugliest hat, after y’all just had fight about something else! It looks vengeful, spiteful, and shady as a hella ugly hat!

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LeeAnne has been eerily calm about this accusation, however, which gives me pause. She has been so angry at Brandi all season over I don’t even know what – Brandi not trusting her or something? – but she has been pretty nonplussed about D’Andra accusing Rich of cheating. Did they even ever have a fight about this? Shouldn’t LeeAnne be more angry?!

Moving right along, let’s talk about Brandi and LeeAnne. Aren’t you excited to revisit this topic again?!

LeeAnne remains adamant that Brandi stole her phone. I really do not believe Brandi “stole” it though. I think it was found. If Brandi did try to get into it she didn’t try very hard. After 3 attempts at breaking the passcode Apple locks the iPhone and you have to wait a while to try again, then if you fail that next attempt you have to call Apple or something. I know because my kids tried so hard to break into my iPad I had to do just that! Unless LeeAnne’s passcode is in fact 666 (which was a hilarious joke!), I doubt even Brandi would be stupid enough to try. If LeeAnne really believes Brandi stole it, have AT&T contact the Copenhagen bar and pull security footage! I mean, AT&T is like on retainer as the RHOD detectives now?

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Kameron Westcott

Brandi says Kameron lied about trying to call LeeAnne to find the phone. She claims she didn’t see any missed calls on LeeAnne’s home screen. Kameron challenges Brandi to stand if she’s gonna call her a liar. Like giving testimony? What?! Maybe “lie” is the wrong word. Kameron changes her story to fit the context – and that context is always LeeAnne! For instance, Kameron told Cary she didn’t believe Brandi stole the phone, but in front of LeeAnne said Brandi did.

RHOD-Reunion-Brandi-Redmond

Then Brandi and LeeAnne bicker over the naked Baltic Sea filming. Andy Cohen plays obtuse by pretending that having a Bravo film crew record it is the same as your enemy having an unauthorized video of your titties. Get with the program Andy – literally – it’s about consent! BRAVO had consent to film Brandi (and everyone else) with the understanding that she would be wearing a ‘blur bikini’ for the publicized footage. No one else would have access to the unedited footage. LeeAnne, by contrast, was doing a very PG version of revenge porn, and had no right. Even if LeeAnne meant no harm, and, yes, Brandi confronted her in all the wrong ways.

Cary doesn’t care, even though her parents aren’t speaking to her over going naked in Kameron’s hot tub, but Brandi did. Mostly because it was LeeAnne filming it, but I 100% agree that LeeAnne is not trustworthy when it comes to Brandi.

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Mama Dee

Finally, Mama Dee comes out, swinging her pocketbook full of D’Andra’s allowance. Which was 200 pennies. Kameron is clearly salty that Andy invited Dee, but not Jimmy. And just when I thought Dee was gonna whack LeeAnne with said purse, she told LeeAnne how she loved her and that she very much wanted her and D’Andra to work through their issues. Shockingly she didn’t blame everything on LeeAnne, but said it was mutual fault. Well, bless Mama Dee’s ketchup-beating heart, ain’t that sweeter than a honeysuckle vine! I mean, if Kameron came over to D’Andra’s for peace taco salad, and a 8lbs of butter can make meatloaf magic, anything is possible right?!

Lastly, Andy asked each woman to share their regret this season. Brandi apologized to Kameron for calling her a liar – maybe she does want to stop fighting with LeeAnne! Finally. Cary regretted running her mouth so dang much. Stephanie regretted not OPENING her mouth enough in the moment (I think that is a good quality). Kameron regretted … not making a better word salad? D’Andra regretted not paying better attention to LeeAnne’s feelings. LeeAnne regretted that she wasn’t there to protect D’Andra from Dee. Huh?! That is NOT admitting to anything YOU did, LeeAnne. Also not the right direction to go if you want to make amends with your friend. That is LeeAnne for you: always living in a different story rewritten by her to suit her own reality.

In the end, everyone toasted with Brandi and D’Andra’s spitfire shot and gagged, because Brandi and D’Andra make a lot of people gag apparently. At least everyone left on friendly terms. left as friends. Which is nice. Yay!

TELL US – IS KAMERON OBSESSED WITH SOCIETY? WHO DO YOU WANT TO SEE COME BACK FOR REAL HOUSEWIVES OF DALLAS SEASON 4?

[Photo Credits: Bravo]

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