Porsha Williams Real Housewives Of Atlanta

Real Housewives Of Atlanta Recap: Tanada

Last night the Real Housewives Of Atlanta continued their trip to Canada to celebrate Carnival. Maybe soon we’ll actually get to see this famous Carnival?!

Tanya Sam is full of surprise guests (and other unwelcome surprises) on this trip to Canada, isn’t she? First Nene Leakes crashes the rooftop happy hour for a 24-hour wham, bam, no-thank you, ma’am drama causing. Then Tanya hides Dennis McKinley in her suitcase so he can re-propose to Porsha Williams against their counselor’s advice.

NeNe strolls onto the rooftop just as Cynthia Bailey is confronting Kenya Moore about trying to ruin her surprise proposal. It’s a tense moment that completely overshadows what NeNe clearly hoped was her big entrance. HAAAA!

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And it should come as no surprise that Kenya denies any ill-intent and keeps insisting she just ‘had a feeling’ Mike Hill was gonna pop the question that night. Cynthia has no choice but to believe her. Kenya didn’t outwardly do anything wrong, necessarily, but I think everyone knows she totally wanted to snatch that moment.

No one acknowledges NeNe, so she just sits there awkwardly slurping her drink until Tanya announces that its time to hit the next portion of their evening which to watch the King and Queen of Carnivale pageant, featuring costumes literally as big as a house.

Once everyone is back at the hotel NeNe has Kandi Burruss, Yovanna Momplaisir, and Marlo Hampton over to her room for a little bitch session. The bitchiest thing was NeNe devouring all those snacks and not offering any to her friends!

Yovanna truly is NeNe’s bitch – playing fetch to all of her mistresses demands. Kandi wonders if this extends to Yovanna secretly recording Cynthia. Yovanna insists she is not the snake. Yovanna does know who is, though, but she’s not telling.

Kandi Burruss Tanya Sam Real Housewives Of Atlanta

NeNe also denies that she leaked the thank you card she sent Cyithia. NeNe insists she doesn’t speak to the blogs, even though her most recent vlog appearance caused major drama when she called Cynthia meek and was a setback in her friendships. Instead NeNe blames Kenya for ‘borrowing’ the card, then contacting the blogs. I think NeNe was sending Kandi warning signals with the way she was chomping those chips, constantly baring her teeth…

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The next morning the ladies all meet to try on their Carnivale costumes. These are like a Victoria’s Secret Fashion show on steroids. Think 10 lbs of glitter and sequins, plus belts and wings.

Kandi bravely goes first in putting on a skintight, rhinestone-covered leotard. Despite being hairier then a snake situation down there, Yovanna also bravely puts hers on. All while complaining that she needs Nair. Newsflash: Yovanna NO ONE uses Nair under the age of 14!

NeNe and Eva Marcille are both present for the fittings, but will be missing the event due to prior commitments. Nene channels that boredom productively by asking Eva if they can talk. NeNe seems confused about why Eva is upset with her as if she can’t remember the whole of last season – 50% of which was recorded on TV for all posterity.

Nene Leakes Real Housewives Of Atlanta

To refresh everyone’s memory when Eva was dealing with her midnight move to flee from her abusive ex, she asked to speak to NeNe off-camera, but NeNe purposefully wore a mic, thus ensuring that their conversation made it onto the RHOA.

Nene Leakes Eva Marcille

Eva definitely does not believe NeNe when she claims she had no idea how wrong her actions were and begs her apology, but Eva is a girl who can be sweet to your face for a long time. Some might say Eva’s mama raised her right!

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The plan for the day is for the ladies to climb the CNN tower. Literally. Eva is forced to bow out due to pregnancy and NeNe is apparently afraid to fall from great heights. A allegory for her own meteoritic rise to fame and spectacular fall from her heels into hellish near obscurity.

Eva Marcille Real Housewives Of Atlanta

NeNe and Eva take their refound friendship to the restaurant at the top of the tower to watch their fellow Housewives skuttle over the edge into an abyss. Over a seafood tower -another metaphor – Eva confronts NeNe about the situation with Porsha. NeNe is anything but apologetic, even though she plans to apologize for the sake of the show getting their friendship back on track. In fact NeNe actually thinks Porsha owes her an apology for leaking private text messages to the world on twitter. Private texts which show NeNe fat shaming Porsha days after she gave birth. NeNe likens it to a spurned ex-boyfriend posting naked photos on social media. Yes, she compared Porsha’s self-advocacy to revenge porn!

Isn’t Porsha disclosing Nene’s personal texts sort of like Nene sending a friend to record Cynthia in private…?

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NeNe wasn’t fat shaming though, she was just letting Porsha know the truth: her weight has nothing to do with pregnancy since she was fat before. Eva has the good graces to at least give NeNe a look and tell her that isn’t nice. Meanwhile the rest of the women are strapped into industrial sized harnesses to hang off the side of the CNN tower. Kandi is the only one who isn’t afraid. The rest of the women are literally petrified and when it’s over and they’ve all survived, they do a big group hug and promise to always support each other. HAAAAAAA

Real Housewives Of Atlanta

That night Tanya is throwing a huge party to introduce her Toronto family and friends to the Atlanta ladies. While getting ready for the party there is a knock at the door and emerging from behind it is an ENORMOUS whack of roses is the bell boy’s hand, awaiting the tip that never comes because Porsha is otherwise engaged. Or at least she’s about to be!

Of course the flowers are from Dennis, who encloses a note using a hot dog reference to joke about his infidelity and being out of the dog house. Porsha isn’t impressed with the attempt at humor, but she is easily impressed by lavish gifts. This girl needs to grow up her love language!

Porsha calls Lauren who reminds her that per their counselor she and Dennis aren’t supposed to speak in between sessions.

Meanwhile, Tanya is receiving surprises of her own. First her fiancé Paul walks in through the door, and right behind him is Dennis himself, out of the dog-house and into the hen house. Tanya and Paul are thrilled to be orchestrating a re-proposal between Dennis and Porsha for selfish reasons: Paul and Dennis are friends.

See, I don’t get this. Tanya seems like a smart and savvy enough woman that she would advise her friend to not to so easily forgive a man who CHEATED ON HER WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT! I would be like Porsha’s sister, Lauren, and telling her to cancel Dennis for a very, very very long time, but Porsha hung up on Lauren’s sense and sensibility so maybe Tanya is just trying to meet Porsha where she is?

Of course Dennis has the upgraded engagement ring with him and this stone is big enough to need it’s own bun.

The plan is for Dennis to show up at Tanya’s party and pop the question again. Talk about stealing Cynthia’s engagement thunder!

Kenya Moore, Porsha Williams, Kandi Burruss Real Housewives Of Atlanta

At the party Porsha is too distracted to even suspect something even when Paul makes his appearance. Instead Porsha, Kandi and Kenya are hatching a plan to confront Yovanna about who the recording snake is. Hopped up on the liquid courage of Hennessey they decide to grill her, hoping she’ll either snap and admit it’s her or implicate the real snake. Kenya is still convinced it actually is Yovanna, but Kandi thinks it’s someone else. And Yovanna already admitted she knows who it is.

While NeNe is attempting to make nice with Cynthia, they call Yovanna over. She refuses to say a word, other than denying that it’ was her and confirming that it is someone in their group. That only leads Marlo — or some surprise double-agent who is working for both NeNe and Cynthia! Oh wait, that is Marlo…

RELATED – Kenya Moore Wants To Sue Marlo Hampton For Saying Her Purse Is Fake

Dennis McKinley Real Housewives Of Atlanta

Porsha is so mad at Yovanna’s refusal to tell that she snatches baack her cocktail. Luckily her anger is shocked right out of her when Tanya starts making a toast about love and Porsha turns around to find Dennis creeping through the crowd before dropping down on one knee in front of her. In my dreams she turns him down, but in my reality I know she’s already planning her televised wedding. Sigh…


[Photo Credits: Bravo]