Vanderpump Rules Recap: The Friendship Dictator

This season of Vanderpump Rules isn’t it. I’m not sure if it’s wrong of me to say that or not, but it’s true. Whatever sort of reset they were looking for with this season is missing the mark. Why not add actual new faces and diversity to the cast? We deserve more than Brock Davies as the only new cast member. Do better.

Brock, James Kennedy, & Tom Schwartz go to an ice bath at the beginning of the episode. It’s supposed to help them through their various issues, but it looked horrible. I couldn’t imagine subjecting myself to that type of torture.

James seemingly finds some sort of self progress within after the ice bath. HOW? All you did is freeze your balls off for like three minutes and call it a day? Are we trying to ice the anger out of him?

At this point anything coming out of Brock’s mouth pisses me off. I don’t like him. I don’t trust him. Scheana Marie will eventually come to that painful realization as well. Give it time. It’ll happen. Sadly Brock’s not her endgame. The writing’s on the wall for this future breakup.

Lisa Vanderpump Vanderpump Rules

Lisa Vanderpump stops by Lala Kent’s place for a visit! It’s always funny watching Lisa travel to the common folks homes. Villa Rosa is such a grand location, so seeing her anywhere else feels so unnatural.

Lisa thinks Lala’s come a long way from her early days, and I have to agree. She can still be a mean girl and messy, but she’s a lot more tolerable than she used to be. Both she and James have done quite the turnarounds over the last couple of years.

Lala tells Lisa she got invited to Brock’s birthday. What an event that was. Charli Burnett was basically violated by one of his friends, and it was totally unacceptable. I hope she holds Scheana & Brock accountable for standing there and laughing off that creepy moment. That’s not what friends should be doing.

Lala talks about telling Schwartz off because of his inability to defend Katie Maloney. He’s the worst husband ever because he goes out of his way to make her look bad. He NEVER has her back. I’m not sure how she’s able to stay with someone who has such disregard for her happiness. She can be nasty at times too, but nobody deserves to be treated like shit by their spouse. Period.

Raquel Leviss Vanderpump Rules

I don’t understand why they’re going to raise money for Raquel Leviss’ new nose by selling feet pics. GROSS. Listen, there’s nothing wrong with a good ol’ foot fetish. I’m here for whatever y’all are up for. However, I can’t support doing it for Raquel’s nose job. I refuse.

The photographer doesn’t seem to know what to make of this foot pic thing. Somehow Raquel’s got Ariana Madix, Charli, & Katie roped into doing this for her. I have to say though, the market for these feet pics is apparently quite lucrative. If they play this right, they might end up making enough money after all.

Raquel’s hosting a picnic to think everyone for helping with her surgery fund. It’s going to be a flowery garden type of thing which is up her alley. That seems way more Raquel’s speed than a Mad Max party. Let’s be honest.

Charli tells the girls that one of Brock’s friends grabbed her at the party. Charli is pissed about Scheana not having her back when that happened. She’s already picking up on a pattern of Scheana not having the backs of her friends. We’ve been down this road before. This ain’t nothing new honey.

Tom Schwartz Vanderpump Rules

Schwartz pleads his case to Lisa about why Katie had to step away from the new bar. He should be ashamed of himself for how he went about this. It’s fine if he doesn’t want to mix business and pleasure like that. It makes sense. However, enough’s enough because nobody deserves that treatment.

Getting a tattoo of Lisa’s name on his ass is a great example of who Schwartz is. He’s a fun guy and cool to hang out with, but an actual child. He’s always exhibiting a level of immaturity far above most of the group. It’s sad because he’s so lovable at times and makes you want to root for him.

While the women of the group are at a floral luncheon, the men are at scream therapy. This episode is all over the place. They entire thing has been one bizarre event after the next. They’re scraping the bottom of the barrel for this one. What a fall from grace.

Scheana’s rubbed the wrong way after hearing James & Raquel won’t support Brock’s photo shoot for free. On one hand I understand wanting compensation, but I also think they should support their friends. I don’t know.

Charli Burnett Vanderpump Rules

Charli brings up the man grabbing her at the pool party, and Scheana’s stories are already switching. Lala’s taking this moment to insert herself to get a go at Scheana again. The consensus among the majority of the women is that Scheana’s not the most loyal person around. Ding Ding Ding.

Charli tells Scheana she’s upset because Scheana doesn’t want to disliked by Brock’s friends. Scheana wants to be loyal to everyone which in a sense makes her loyal to nobody. She wants to leave because every time there’s tea involved someone has an issue. There’s always an issue Scheana because you do nothing to help yourself in these situations.

Schwartz comes home and decides to spill the beans about his LVP ass tattoo. Ariana’s face is EVERYTHING. Somehow this doesn’t get discussed the way it should because he’s good at charming his way out. What Katie doesn’t like is Schwartz not talking to her before making these bets. If you combine that with him not having her back, things aren’t good for the married couple of the group.

Brock & Scheana are super salty about James not wanting to do the photo shoot for free. It’s a tricky situation because I see both sides with this.

James Kennedy Vanderpump Rules

Scheana apparently called Charli saying she can’t trust her anymore after the tea party. Oh give me a fucking break. SO EXTRA. Not as extra as this pickleball open with Randall Emmett & Schwartz, but it’s extra nonetheless.

James is trying to remain calm while talking to Brock about the photo shoot drama. It makes sense as to why James would be annoyed because this isn’t the first freebie Brock’s asked for. You start to wonder about usage and if he’s truly a genuine friend. Brock’s struck me as an opportunist since Day 1, so I’m not surprised.

Katie steps in as the voice of reason to help James better articulate his feelings. What a leap these two have made from being at each other’s throats in the past. It’s cool for someone to have his back though.

After the pickle ball game, back at the bar, Charli pulls Scheana to the side. I guess I’m confused as to why Scheana gets to be the victim in all of this. She isn’t the one who had her personal space and body violated.

Charli’s explaining that Scheana didn’t make their friendship a safe space when she opened up to her. Scheana’s unable to be a solid friend for too long. She’s never been able to master the art of friendship. This is a doomed friendship.


[Photo Credit: Bravo]