Vanderpump Rules Recap: DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Fits Of Rage

Does anything about this season of Vanderpump Rules feel authentic? Everything’s coming off so forced, fake, and contrived. Whatever they were trying to accomplish with this season clearly isn’t working.

Katie Maloney stops by Lala Kent’s to chat and discuss Lala’s previous event. It’s Lala, so naturally everything’s going to lead back to drama somehow. Lala’s pressed because Ariana Madix didn’t say one word to her at the event. I get being upset about that, but their relationship hasn’t been solid in forever. She shouldn’t be too surprised that there’s still some lingering weirdness because everything’s still fresh.

Katie doesn’t want to be in the middle of their rift. Why can’t they be honest about how they feel? If they do that, they might be able to reach someone common ground. The weird limbo place they’ve been in all season isn’t going to solve anything.

Katie dishes to Lala about her sandwich shop idea with Ariana. They’re meeting up with Lisa Vanderpump soon to go over some of their ideas and get her input. These ladies are already heads and shoulders above the men with their new venture. They realize they aren’t creative geniuses and are enlisting the help of an established restaurateur.

Unlike the boys, Katie’s considering having Randall Emmett invest in her business. She’s more aware than her husband of her financial status, so she’s already locking in the big guns. All he wants is something named after him, so it shouldn’t be a difficult pitch to get him on board.

James Kennedy Tom Schwartz Vanderpump Rules

Tom Schwartz is still in friendship limbo with Tom Sandoval, so he’s hanging with James Kennedy. Evidently it’s his new dream to become a DJ in his bars, so he’s enlisting James’ help. This is James’ niche, so maybe something productive will come from it.

In more important news, James is approaching two years of his sobriety and is ready for the next step. No more weed. That’s right. The one thing he’s relied on to function for many years is going bye-bye. He’s accustomed to smoking at all hours of the day, so this is going to be the epic test. Can James find a way to eradicate it from his life for good, or will he remain “California sober”?

Schwartz isn’t the only one taking a new bestie for a spin. Sandoval’s spending some time in his gym with Brock Davies. Brock’s really going through it because the wedding plans went awry. The cost of everything was becoming too much, and he had to pull the plug on the surprise event. One day they’ll maybe tie the knot.

Things are still weird with the Toms, and not hanging out is still in full swing. The break’s healthy for them though. They spend so much time with each other that it’s creeping into all facets of their lives. There’s no reason for Schwartz to treat his wife like shit. It’s not a horrible thing for him to be home more and being a good husband for once.

Scheana Marie Vanderpump Rules

Scheana Marie’s trying to say she didn’t know anything about the surprise wedding, but she did? She obviously know more because she was hella prepared for this to go down. It sounds like he was going out of his way to get Lala & Randall to pay for everything. He’s an opportunist. Let’s call it what it is.

Scheana’s protecting herself this time with a prenup. If she and Brock actually walk down the aisle, she’s able to walk away with her money. Let’s see if this deters him from following through. I have a feeling it will.

The Toms are totally in over their head with this new bar. They’re behind schedule, and it looks like the fun has been sucked out of it. They’re having a progress party because they want their friends to see what it looked like before. There’s not much progress at all. What are they even going to show their loved ones? I’d be far too embarrassed to show something off if I was many months behind in the way they are.

Watching James & Raquel Leviss plan their engagement party is cringe. We all know by now that they’ve split, so it’s all awkward to see play out. Also, you can tell Raquel’s sister isn’t even remotely a fan of James. She’s almost gritting her teeth trying to smile through his sea of bullshit. I’m sure she breathed a sigh of relief the day their split become public.

Brock Davies Vanderpump Rules

Brock’s out of his fucking mind. He’s now trying to do the surprise wedding in the middle of James & Raquel’s engagement party. Is he that desperate for a free moment that he’d take away the spotlight from them? Dick move man. Dick move.

Ariana & Tom are visibly cringing on the phone with Brock hearing about this “plan”. The second James finds out about this, he’s going to slip back into his rage ways. One thing is all it takes.

Katie & Ariana want their own identity outside of being romantic partners of the Toms. This is it. This is their moment to shine. It’s all in the follow through.

It’s in such poor taste for Brock to even consider doing this to James & Raquel. Not only that, but how is he supporting the financials of the engagement ring. It’s a $25,000 ring. Shit is REAL. Very oof.

The friendship break is officially over for the Toms. Did they accomplish anything they set out to do? They’re still completely in over their heads with this business. Nothing’s done. There’s no progress at this progress party. Even the official sign for the bar leaves a lot to be desired.

Lisa’s making comments throughout the entire party under her breath. I can’t blame her. She’s experienced in this sort of business, so she knows her shit. She’s the person they should be listening to very carefully. However, Sandoval’s a dictator about the venture, so nobody can really voice anything.

Brock challenges James‘ story about why he didn’t quit smoking weed. In typical James fashion, he loses his cool in the bar and flips out on Brock. It’s bigger than that though. The issue between the two has to do with the way it shifted after James wouldn’t do promo for free. It all boils down to different definitions of friendship.

TELL US – ARE THE TOMS IN OVER THEIR HEADS? TEAM BROCK OR TEAM JAMES? ARE YOU ENJOYING THIS SEASON OF VANDERPUMP RULES?

[Photo Credit: Bravo]