Vanderpump Rules Season 5

Vanderpump Rules season 5 will return November 7th with PLENTY of drama and one almost ill-fated wedding.

The biggest story line of whether or not Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney will say ‘I Do’ has already been busted thanks to social media (Yes, they tie the knot, aka Tom’s balls are tied in a knot forever), but apparently there was a lot of back and forth leading up to the altar. No surprise there, as Tom‘s fear of commitment has always been an issue.

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The preview shows Tom threatening to cancel the wedding amid tearfully hearing his friends tell him he deserves better. We also see Katie snapping that Tom’s d–k doesn’t work! Sounds like a lovely way to start a lifetime of forever together! (Sarcasm).

Ultimately with Tom Sandoval and Jax Taylor by his side, Tom 2 beweds Katie to a moving ceremony performed by Lisa Vanderpump, who knows a thing or two about making marriage last.

In other news, Stassi Schroeder is back in everyone’s good graces, but Scheana Marie, of course, finds herself on the outs.

Kristen Doute cries tears about something, and is dating Carter. (Do we care? No). Hopefully Kristen and Ariana Madix are over their stupidity, but doubt it.

Speaking of, Tom 1 and Ariana seem happily in love and without drama or smiles, except when it comes to trying to maintain friendships with both the aging mean girls and Lala Kent and James Kennedy. Naturally, those two are back as the resident villains.

It seems, other than wedding mayhem, Jax, James, and Lala are left to cause all the problems this season – and they oblige.

James is called out for his drinking and Lisa is concerned he’s becoming an alcoholic. He also continues to struggle with behaving like a decent human being (thank you Kristen for bringing him to our attention. BARF). Lala is accused of dating a married man by Kristen, Katie, and Stassi who are, as you know, the arbiters of moral behavior. Rumor has it Lala quits the show mid-season.

And Jax and Brittany Cartwright seem to be having major trouble in paradise – apparently it does not behoove Brittany to get off the couch now that they’ve moved out of Jax’s studio and into a spacious, grown-up apartment. What happened to working at Hooters?!

An aside, Brittany and Katie look awful! Yes that’s rude; and no, I don’t care. You are on TV – pull it together, ladies!

There are also plenty of trips this season, including New Orleans for Tom and Katie’s joint bachelor/bachelorette party where one of the Tom’s almost becomes alligator food. I also need to know what’s happening with Peter Madrigal’s hair this season – hopefully there’s an improvement on that front!

Vanderpump Rules returns Nov 7 at 9/8c on Bravo. You can check out the epic teaser here. Photos of the cast are below.

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[Photo Credit: Tommy Garcia/Bravo]

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