Of course, Joyce is also giving us her take on Monday's episode. She begins her Bravo blog, "I want to thank you all for the cyber friendship and the support you've given me through this journey called Housewives. I also want to take advantage of this platform to answer something lots of you have been asking. For those who've asked me on social media how I feel about the fact that Brandi uses every chance she can to try to disrespect me, all I can say is that she is a classless person who thinks everything she says is OK and funny. Apparently she has no friends to tell her that making racial remarks, backstabbing all her fellow Housewives, making horrible remarks about other women (Joanna Krupa and Kenya Moore), and talking crap in all the interviews that are meant to be about her book are not OK…Sorry Brandi! Your card is overplayed and you have zero comedic timing! You are not funny and since I learned to take things from the source…Knock yourself out and keep proving me right."
Poor Lisa Vanderpump just can't do anything right. But she's also the most powerful and smartest woman in all the world – according to her Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cast mates. With those credentials you wonder why they'd bother effing with her, but I guess it's the price you pay for reality TV fame!
In Lisa'sbravo blog she discusses necklace drama and her relationships with former friends turned co-workers from hell.
"I am of course extremely upset when I see, for example, Brandi bringing up the subject of Cedric [Martinez]. All of you who have followed the story from the beginning will understand Cedric was a precarious subject and one that out of loyalty to Brandi I would never have raised. But now she is saying I had Cedric deported."
Back pedal, back pedal, back pedal! If Brandi Glanville was back pedaling any faster, she'd be going in reverse! The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star has been in some hot water with her "friends" lately after "repeating" gossip regarding Lisa Vanderpump's finances and trying to pin it on Kyle Richards. She's now weighing in on what happened between Kyle and Carlton Gebbia and that blue-skull-peace-offering-washed-to-get-rid-of-bad-ju-ju-is-it-a-ring-or-a-crown-do-we-care situation. Ridiculous. Of course, Brandi is calling it like she sees it, but this time around, she's quick to insert compliments and let us know just how much she loves this group of women. Even Lisa.
Taking to her Bravo blog, Brandi begins with a little self-deprecating humor. I guess she figures if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. She begins, "Let me just start by saying after seeing my spray tan, I am definitely getting back into the gym to work on my mommy pooch. At this point Kim [Richards] and I were getting very close, and I really am happy to have come such a long way with her from when we first met." And they certainly have done a complete one-eighty from the crutch stealing and meth accusations, haven't they? Such cute biffles!
Something curious has happened to Tom 1 over the course of Vanderpump Rules. He's grown from a boy to a man. He has freed himself from the shackles of Kristen Doute's psychotic tyranny and Stassi Schroeder's emotional manipulations and terrible party planning. He has flourished from a sad, aimless emotional wrecking ball to a proud manish metrosexual.
Last night Tom 1 let his anger roar as he took down Stassi, put Kristen in her place, and practically ground Jax Taylor's aging meathead under his boot heel. And never did a hair bend out of shape! Is Ariana Madix responsible for this surge in testosterone – as if releasing himself from Kristen has allowed Tom 1's poor shriveled manliness to blossom Phoenix-style.
Whatever – I was impressed. Take no prisoners Tom. Actually, no, do take Jax prisoner and lock him away from the rest of us because boy deserves to do hard time not these puny 'you can keep your designer sweater' jail stints!
Back in my last life when I taught first grade, I used to read "Which Witch Is Which" to my students around Halloween. For some reason, when I watch this season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the same question resonates in my head! Is it the actual Wiccan Carlton Gebbia? Kyle Richards for her comments? Brandi Glanville? I just don't know anymore. Of course, Carlton thinks there is no bigger bwitch (my new hybrid word) in 90210 than Splits and Joyce Giraud. I think someone needs to Escape from Witch Mountain! Who's with me? Kim? (Sorry, couldn't resist!).
In her Bravo blog, Carlton has had enough of the judgment and hypocrisy, so she goes and does the proper amount of judgment towards Kaftan Kyle herself. Perhaps these ladies should be friends as they seem to act in the same general manner!
Everything Housewives gets "gated". And here on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills we have graduated from cheating-gate, and hair-gate, and lastminutecancellation-gate, to necklace-gate; and most excitingly: you'recursed-gate. It's been a while since we've had a good curse on Housewives #Season1CamilleGrammer #Pernicious.
So that's what we're dealing with here and like sand through the hourglass these here are the days of our caftans. Cause you know, Kyle Richards was on Days of Our Lives for a splits richards second.
Anyway, Brandi Glanville has a problem with her tongue and her mouth and her speech and her general planet trashiness was affected by wonky aspirin. Which is a good thing because she also has a problem with *gasp* Lisa Vanderpump. Appprrrrrntly, Lisa holds within her bejeweled hands the power to deport people, destroy their lives, poison their aspirin, and dig up their ex-husband's long-dead mistress from the grave to release her from her coffin on the very moment when you walk into a Bravo-sponsored season finale party at her restaurant. Or something like that that. Cause if anyone knows how to work a good curse it's not plastic tits on a tan witch Snarlton Gebbia, but Giggy-loving Lisa!
If Kyle Richards wrote a memoir, I'd like to think she she title it "Kaftans and Hypocrisy: The Splits Richards Story." It's got bestseller written all over it, doesn't it? The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star can't get over how hypocritical co-star Carlton Gebbia has been, yet she can't see how bad her own behavior is towards former bestie Lisa Vanderpump. I was hoping that when Kyle watched last week's episode and saw Lisa defend her to Carlton, she'd feel badly for not returning the favor when Brandi Glanville was bad mouthing Lisa. Not so much! Why am I not surprised?
In her Bravo blog, Kyle begins, "This week is the kick off to some real craziness coming up. Buckle up! Mauricio and I received an invitation to Carlton and David's event and then after the dinner party received a 'disinvite.' I think it was a given I wouldn't go, but if Carlton felt the need to make sure I wasn't going to attend, I think the disinviting should have been directed to both Mauricio and myself. I'm not sure if she actually thought my husband would show up without me or she just wanted to add salt to the wound."