On last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta we met new Housewife Shamari DeVoe, and she is um, extra excited about being Mrs. DeVoe and about her great wonderful amazing life. Also, Eva Marcille seems to have some postpartum infection of shadiness that may be crossing the line!
Eva works at Dish Nation (was I supposed to know this?) where she became friends with Porsha Williams. She just doesn’t understand how anyone couldn’t love Porsha! Um, Eva, get back to us when she spreads rumors about your marriage and accuses you of planning to drug and rape her, or drags you across a reunion stage by your extensions.
Since Eva just had a baby and Porsha
is pregnant already? just had a lot of Dennis McKinley’s hot dogs, they hit the gym to drop some pounds. “When was the last time you saw a model with a big booty? Cynthia’s the only one I know.” Eva is sure complaining that a lot of people are extra when she is going overboard trying to make her modeling career seem relevant by comparing it to Cynthia Bailey‘s career and shading ‘the mother’ all the way to the lake (and back to the runway) for an America’s Next Top Model revival. Mmmm… Eva last time I checked Tyra had retired her judge’s weave, and you had long retired as well. Or had your career ever actually started?
Drastically switching gears, NeNe Leakes and Gregg Leakes travel to Texas to visit a world-renown cancer center. Gregg isn’t sure about undergoing chemo, and wants to consider alternative medicines. Understandably he’s on a roller coaster of emotions about everything. NeNe can relate – somewhat – since she’s been on the rollercoaster of emotions that is RHOA for many years, and Gregg has been her rock through all the feuds, phony divorces, wig pulls, and wigs with vendettas, and everything else. Now it’s her turn to be the grown up in the relationship.
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The doctor reveals that Gregg’s CT scan shows surgery removed the existing cancer, but there could be additional cancerous cells floating around somewhere. To be on the safe side the doctor recommends chemo, and NeNe agrees, but Gregg still isn’t sure. One thing Gregg is certain of is that he’d like to use his experiences to help others and raise awareness. Awwww… Gregg. All the hugs!
Over at Kandi Koated Industries, we finally meet Shamari DeVoe. Shamari is gorgeous, and she’s married to R&B legend Ronnie DeVoe and is the mom of twin boys. She’s also a member of the group Blaque who is ready to jump-start their career again ala Xscape, so that explains why she’s joined RHOA. According to Kandi Burruss Shamari is “not the type of person that’s trying to put on airs and she’s gonna be herself no matter what.” Herself seems very full of her self-perceived sparkle, though!
Shamari and Kandi go way back – Shamari was at Riley Burruss’ baby shower, Kandi wrote one of Blaque’s biggest hits, and Bel Biv DeVoe performed at Kandi and Todd Tucker’s wedding, and now it looks like Kandi is going to help relaunch Shamari’s music career. Which also means that Shamari’s next single should be titled “T-R-O-U-B-L-E” written by Kandi Burrus, because I have a feeling that’s what Shamari is going to be. Especially for Porsha! I bet one of Kandi’s royalty checks that Shamari also knows Dennis, and knows-knows all about Dennis. This is the karma-venge season for Kandi. It’s her turn to blow up Porsha’s relationship… Although I could be wrong because Shamari and Porsha go even farther back – they went to high school together!
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Shamari is also very much about being MRS. DEVOE. “He is everything to the world!” she gushes about Ronnie, bragging that she is the one and only true wife to a legend so many other women are dying to get their hands on. Shamari and Ronnie have been together for 17 years, and like Porsha, their relationship started as a one night stand. Now she has big plans to become
a geriatric the next Beyonce and Jay-Z by forming a couple’s power group. So far my favorite thing about Shamari is how all of her regular glasses look safety goggles as if she’s prepared for all the dangers that come with being a Real Housewife.
Suddenly Kandi and Porsha are buddies again! Which is quite a different story from the one Kandi was telling last week as they all headed to Miami. That was one successful girls trip. Kandi invites everyone including support Shamari at her upcoming concert and when she calls Porsha with the invite they have a very cute conversation which includes joking about Dennis. After vetting how everyone feels about her in Miami Porsha is ready to introduce him to the group. “I’ve never met Dennis,” reveals Kandi. “We have mutual… um, friends. So I’m just gonna shut up.”
Like new mom Eva, NeNe is excited to get out of the house and take a break from care-taking to let her weave down a couple inches with the girls. Unlike Eva, NeNe manages to keep her attitude in check for girl’s night out.
For all Shamari’s delusions that everyone in Atlanta is keeping up with the DeVoes, Cynthia has literally never even seen nor heard of Shamari and has to ask Kandi to point her out on stage. Cynthia actually she thinks they just moved to town! Even though Shamari has lived in Atlanta since kindergarten, and is married to the one. the only. LEGEND. Cynthia needs to get off that lake and back into society!
The very second Shamari stops singing and prancing around in a sequined fringe crop-top, Cynthia invites everyone to a “Bailey-Que.” Like Martha Stewart, Cynthia is apparently is slapping her name on anything and everything and hoping it sticks. Maybe she just ought to trademark “Bailey.” However since the Bailey umbrella of products does not include food, Cynthia decides to the event is pot-luck. Porsha doesn’t cook right now since she’s dating Dennis who is also a chef in addition to being a club impresario and entrepreneur. His specialty is dangling proposals in front of women’s noses, and hot dogs. “He’s a dog alright,” snickers Kandi. Well at least hot dogs go well with a barbecue, not sure about a Bailey-Que…
So Eva doesn’t like ANYONE presently (except Porsha) and she is out to avenge all of last season’s hazings when she was the newbie. In addition to hating on Marlo and Cynthia she is also gunning for Shamea Morton after Shamea shaded her about her dating life. In the course of expressing how much she dislikes Shamea for being “a snake” Eva goes so far as to make some comments about her blackness which has Kandi questioning Eva’s values.
When Shamari comes over to the table to seek accolades after her performance, NeNe gives her the cold shoulder (Available at Swagg Boutique!). Then Ronnie comes to say hello, and Shamari suggests he critique Kandi’s performance with Xscape – which he gladly does in front of the entire table. This is not the way to make friends and influence people, Shamari! Also, the Peter Thomas replacement for Househusband has arrived in the form of Ronnie.
The next day Kandi forgets her pants as she visits the site of the next OLG Restaurant, inventively titled OLGII. Carmon also shows up, looking professional, because she now runs an insurance agency which is doing all the quotes for OLG. And providing some extra insurance for Kandi’s personal dramas as well!
The tea being served is Porsha’s relationship with Dennis. Carmon has heard that Dennis likes to buy all his lady friends Rolexes. Then Kandi’s friend Jami arrives to really lay the butter on extra thick! You may remember Jami as the girl Porsha chased out the back of a Christmas party a couple seasons ago. Now Jami and Porsha are obviously NOT friends, but Jami’s friend was dating Dennis (for almost 3 years) … until he abruptly dumped her for Porsha.
Allegedly this girl found out while they were all in Africa for Shamea’s wedding! According to Kandi, Dennis was also dating other girls at the same time. “He falls pretty quickly,” Kandi shades, “and he tattoos people’s names on him.” Names and faces … since he got Jami’s friend’s face somewhere on his body as well. To complete the portrait of a man in love also cooks for his ladies… Or has his sidepieces cook for his main lady! “She just better check his receipts,” warns Jami. “Don’t you say nothing. Cleave your mouth shut,” Carmon lectures Kandi. She has learned by proxy of Mama Joyce about how words on the street work out…
At that very same time, Porsha’s mom visits her and is shocked by the size of Porsha’s booty, and the size of her new Rolex! Porsha excitedly reveals that Dennis tattooed her name on his leg, and has plans to put her face on his back. He’s also having freshly prepared meatloaf sent straight to her door! “This is for real! Like he ain’t goin’ nowhere,” she coos. Porsha’s mom is practically in tears about how Porsha finally found the perfect man who has made her so happy and content.
So Dennis has his game plan dialed in! Also, how is he covering up all these tattoos to make room for the new tattoos?
TELL US – DO YOU THINK DENNIS IS SHADY? WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SHAMARI SO FAR? IS SHAMARI A GOOD ADDITION TO REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]