So last night’s Real Housewives of New Jersey welcomed Teresa Giudice back into the land of tequila with minimal drama (that’s saved for next week!). Margaret Josephs does her best to be relevant, and while I really like her, she’s sinking down to a level she shouldn’t…or maybe she’s required to–this is reality television after all! Thankfully the kids scenes were kept to a minimum. I know several readers didn’t appreciate my snarky request not to snark on the kids, but we can all agree we are here to snark…I just like keeping it to the adults who signed up for this circus! As always, thank you for reading, and now, let’s get to slinging super bronzed snark!
The RHONJ episode opens with the ladies and their families prepping for their day a la Southern Charm’s formula. Teresa is sharing her very tiny wardrobe for the upcoming bodybuilding competition with daughters Audriana, Gabriella, and Gia. Audriana calls it like she sees it. The outfit is gross and is certainly going to go up her mom’s butt. Teresa shares that she was nervous to tell incarcerated husband Joe Guidice that she was participating in such an event due to his jealous tendencies. She’s relieved that he is not only supportive, but he hopes she wins. Realizing she can’t change her mother’s tiny-weeny-bikini choices, Audriana remembers the ol’ “if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em” mantra and models some seriously killer poses her mom should use on the catwalk.
Jennifer Aydin came out swinging during last night’s Real Housewives of New Jersey episode. At first, it seemed nice that she brought souvenirs from Turkey for her costars. Then, she “joked” that Margaret Josephs’ gift was “in the mail.” It was a (failed) reference to Margaret referring to Jennifer’s brother’s fiance as a “mail-order bride.”
Then, Jennifer gave Jackie Goldschneider a Turkish knife to “stab her in the back”. Yes, this is about that article Jackie wrote about “spoiled children” after she left Jennifer’s home with its sixteen bathrooms.
A very huge thank you to The Marvelous Mrs. Mary for covering the Real Housewives of New Jersey recap last week when I was traveling for my day job. She always calls it like she sees it, and these women require a lot of attention. Finally, Teresa Giudice seems to be getting along with sister-in-law Melissa Gorga and Jackie Goldschneider, the newbie who broke Tre code early on in the season. Jennifer Aydin is still harping on Jackie’s stupid article in the wake of her trip to Turkey. Give it up, already! Does anyone even read this paper they keep mentioning? Sheesh. Even Margaret Josephs has sunk below the fray with her recent comments about Jennifer’s brother’s engagements. Can’t we all just get along? No. I know the answer will always be “no.”
That said, I’d give my eye teeth to watch a Dolores Catania/Danielle Staub smackdown to energize this RHONJ lull! If we can’t have that nugget, I guess I’ll settle for a Marty Caffrey/Joe Benigno Italian grinder seasoned with a Joe Gorga voice of reason. For dessert? A heaping portion of Milania Giudice’s rap debut–mad props to her for having the guts to perform in front of all of those people! I’m full…but these folks are FULL OF IT!
Jennifer gives her an ancient Turkish dagger to “stab people in the back.” Did she just realize that she has to make some waves to get a callback for a second season? After bragging about her Paramus mansion for too many episodes to count, Jennifer amping up the drama tonight. Jackie isn’t the only Housewife she fights with.
With many Real Housewives shows on the decline with drama (looking at you Orange County and Atlanta), the New Jersey ladies have really come through for the viewers when we needed it most. Season 9 is the show’s best season in years. It’s not even over yet, but I cannot wait for the Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 9 reunion. Then again, I really don’t want it to end. I’m torn.
Who am I kidding? The reunion is going to be a screaming match. I’m so here for that. As of this moment, we don’t know exactly what they argued about discussed, but we did get some sneak peaks at their looks thanks to social media. I just want to know if anyone wore Jovani! Or is that more of a New York City Housewives move? Spoiler alert: there are A LOT of sequins. Oh And spray tans, of course.
As Jennifer packs for TWO WHOLE DAYS away from home she worries if she doesn’t schedule Bill Aydin’s quality time with the kids, he’ll forget they exist. She’s probably also worried that he’ll forget she exists! Or worse – won’t miss her presence…
On tonight’s Real Housewives of New Jersey episode, Teresa and Jackie finally have their one-on-one sitdown. Will it go well? Probably not. It’s very likely that their non-issues will continue all season and into the reunion, guaranteeing a Season 2 for Jackie.