This week we celebrate Kyle Richards‘ birthday, a momentous Bravo occasion if ever there was one, because it is Kyle who brought us kaftans. I cried tears of warm rosé to learn that Kaftans By KyleKantoo closed last year, because how else am I going to satisfy my dream of being shrouded in polyester satin leopard print, weighed down by giant rhinestones and chopped off at the mid-thigh? I guess I’ll have to travel all the way to Beverly Hills to raid Kyle’s closet!
So anyway, follow me as we go on a journey of Kyle’s best (and by ‘best’ I mean WORST!) and most infamous moments on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
Most of Kyle’s notable moments are connected to Kim Richards. The Twisted Sisters Richards have formed the cornerstone of this show’s consistent focus of very real family dysfunction from practically the very first episode.
13. Erika-Stan (Season 7)
Kyle played Erika Giardi‘s groupie in Greece and afterward let loose and showed her fun, sexy side with some killer bikini poses. So amazing to see Kyle not wearing a droopy, blousy, mumsy, frumpy thing for a change!
12. Lymie-Lymie Lies? (Season 6)
Lisa Rinna accused Kyle and LVP of insinuating that Yolanda Hadid was exaggerating her Lyme Disease and may be suffering from Munchausen Syndrome instead. Kyle denied speculating this, but Lipsa insists she overheard LVP trying to convince Kyle to bring it up in a phone call. It was pretty obvious that is exactly what happened, but in order to maintain her friendship with LVP, Kyle played the fool and pretend she had never discussed it with either Lisa, nor had she heard LVP instigating. This argument spanned all season, until it erupted in Dubai. Too bad because that is Kyle’s Mecca, the home of the Kaftan, and she was handing them out like handshakes. Kaftans can hide so many secrets – no wonder she loves them!
11. Lost In Translation (Season 3)
During the cast trip to Paris, Kyle confronted Lisa about feeling replaced by Brandi. The conversation was pretty ordinary, but the scenery from the ladies coats, to the wind whipping through their hair, to the flawless sky and the Eiffel Tower view was all so amazing. Also, note Kyle’s bravery in confronting anyone on this show perched next to a balcony with a thousand+ feet drop.
10. Malibu Night Terrors (Season 2)
Season 2 of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills ranks one of the greatest in reality TV history. At the Seas 1 reunion, Kyle tried to align herself with Adrienne Maloof against LVP. By Season 2, she had found herself reduced to a friendship with Taylor Armstrong.
One fine night Brandi borrowed a house in Malibu for a dinner party to pretend she was rich and influential, except Taylor went insane and tried to throw herself off a 1 story balcony while Kyle howled and sobbed by her side. Then, she wound up in an arm slapping fight with Brandi (her first!).
Obviously, Taylor got kicked out, along with her sidekick Kyle, who ended up chaperoning Taylor on the ride home. Alone. Down the long, winding, desolate lanes of the PCH, where Taylor tried to jump out of the limo, hurled insults through the sunroof and lit up a cigarette, exhaling fumes of failed delusions into the hair Kyle had just so tragically helicoptered whipped in everyone’s faces.
That was also the party where Linda Thompson, ex-wife of David Foster and Bruce (now Caitlin) Jenner emerged as the voice of reason. “You guys are all embarrassing yourselves by being out of control. We are an evolved species,” she counseled as Kyle stormed around searching for her purse and sniffling. Aaaahhh… the good times when RHOBH had grit.
9. Kim & Kyle Do Lanai (Season 2)
When Kim was truly on the precipice of a breakdown, Kyle hosted a birthday party for “Maurice” in Lanai, Hawaii. First, she chartered a “private jet,” which turned out to be a single engine propeller Cessna. A flight which Kim missed.
Kim finally showed up 36 hours late, with shady excuses, and dragging along her truly amazing then-boyfriend Ken Blumenthal. After fighting with Kim at dinner over her “lies,” the following morning Kim is late again forcing Kyle and LVP to go searching for her. In true Real Housewives espionage, they climb from Kyle’s balcony onto Kim’s, bang on the window, then run around to the inside and bang on the hotel door again.
Kim pretends to have no idea who they are, and ultimately misses Maurico’s birthday boat ride. On their final dinner, Kim bragged that she had the best day – away from KYLE, prompting Kyle to freak out. (On that same trip Kim also packed a vibrator she confused for a lipstick tube…).
8. Slut Pigs Meth Mocha (Season 2)
In one of Brandi’s earliest events on this show, she attended a game night at the ‘home’ of Pam-Dana (of the $25,000 sunglasses), while on crutches for a broken foot. Kim showed up late (obviously). Then, she repeatedly disappeared into the bathroom with a suspicious frappucino and emerged acting even messier. Kim directed most of her erratic behavior towards Brandi, even hiding her crutches. When Brandi finally snapped she accused Kim of being on meth. So, Kim and Kyle stood up, in tangent, pointing, name calling, and screaming at Brandi. Not your best side Kyle!
7. Dreams Vs. Realities (Season 4)
Kyle spent the majority of season 4 sniping at Brandi, getting angry with LVP, and feuding with Yolanda and Carlton Gebbia overlord knows what. To punish her for her infractions Yolanda hosted a dinner party for the man who was then her king, and put hearts on the place cards of the people she liked best (i.e. LVP and Brandi). Guess who didn’t get a valentine?! Kyle went on an on about it until Yolanda wanted to draw a big, black “X” on her face.
While the “The Dream Team” may have initially rejected Kyle’s application on the grounds that she whips her hair back and forth too often, only wears caftans, and lacks either an accent or mile-long legs, luckily for her they ultimately disbanded. And when they regrouped as the We Hate Lisa Coalition, they were more than happy to add Kyle to their roster!
6. Dinner Party From Hell (Season 1)
After Camille believed Kyle labeled her “insignificant” behind her back, she decided to invite a psychic friend to dinner to make predictions about Kyle’s marriage to Mauricio. Like did Mauricio have some special secret other women friends? Kyle reacted by storming out and letting Faye Resnick come to her rescue. It was the worst/best supper ever served on Bravo! Can we have seconds, please?
5. Puerto Reeko, LVP (Season 4)
In Puerto Rico Brandi was upset with Lisa for becoming friends with Kyle again, and decided Lisa was using her to do her dirty work – like asking Brandi to put tabloids containing stories about Mauricio cheating in her suitcase, with the intent to bring them out during the cast trip to Puerto Rico. Brandi claims she refused and ultimately told Kyle, who confronted Lisa. Lisa vehemently denied the accusation, but it was too late! Kyle was off and running, orchestrating a takedown against her former friend – all on the word of Brandi.
4. You Stole My House – Again: (Season 5)
Kim and Kyle meet in Palm Dessert, at the house Kyle built after selling their mother’s home – the home Kyle stole from Kim. Tensions explode over who had ownership of the houses and how it ended up in Kyle’s hands. Kim remained in denial.
3. Poker, Prodder Night (Season 5)
The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills should really avoid games. Newbie Eileen Davidson hosted a poker night, and Kim showed up… on something, which escalated into a huge fight between Kyle and Brandi about who loves Kim more. Brandi and Kyle ended up slapping at each other’s hands and grabbing each other again, until Kyle fled in tears to hide in the bushes. KimKillah Rambles Richards strikes again!
2. Amsterdammed (Season 5)
The ladies traveled to Amsterdam to celebrate the birthplace of the esteemed Yolanda Lemon-Lymes Hadid-Foster-Hadid. Except no one paid much attention to Yolanda
so she had a Lyme relapse because Kim and Kyle exploded again, rehashing the same old issues about how Kyle doesn’t support Kim enough. Over dinner, Kim took on Lipsa and Eileen, then accused Kyle of not defending her sobriety, as compared to her wonderful supporters Brandi and Kathy Hilton.
It got so nasty Lipsa flung a glass to make Kim stop, and Kyle fled the restaurant in tears. But she was wearing a cape, not a caftan just for something different. So hurrah?
1. The Birth Of The Twisted Sisters Richards (Season 1)
In a dated stretch limo, the house of cards that was the Richards Sisters came tumbling down after Kyle exposed Kim’s troubles with money and substance abuse, and Kim alternately accusing Kyle of stealing her house. It certainly wasn’t the end of Kyle’s enabling or Kim’s troubles (far from it), but it was the end of the illusion that Beverly Hills is merely a place of fabulous wealth, amazing clothes, and glamorous lifestyles.
TELL US – WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE KYLE RICHARDS MOMENT?
[Main Photo Credit: Charles Sykes/Bravo; All Other Photo Credits: Bravo]