Last night Nene Leakes finally reappeared on Real Housewives Of Atlanta. She probably shouldâve stayed camouflaged in seasonâs past, because I personally have had enough of her martyr act. The same goes for Kenya Moore! You two are only victims of your own arrogance, ladies! And in the middle of it all was Cynthia Bailey, playing the role of the ever-forgiving, ever-loving, ever-obliging friend.
After going way overboard in her supposed clawback to Tanya Sam when Kenya arrived to lunch and called her the c-word, then brought a burnt Cookie Lady to âexposeâ Paul Judge as a cheater, Kenya still does not at all feel she owes Tanya an apology. Of course she doesnât.
Kenyaâs desperation is showing, and that slip is dingy and frayed! Just like her marriage, and without being able to brag about being a âMrsâ and finally having the perfect life, Kenya needs the relevance of RHOA. Unfortunately Tanya and Cynthia have been caught in the crossfire.
Cynthia goes over to Kenyaâs house where she is wearing sloppy ill-fitting un-shapewear and making a gourmet dinner for one after Marc Daly left early to return to NYC. Marc basically showed up to film planning an event he wants to promote on Real Housewives Of Atlanta, then left Kenya and the baby daughter he claims to love so much, for his real life in Brooklyn. So now Kenya is cooking the dinner she planned but giving Marcâs portion to Cynthia.
Except Cynthiaâs not even sure she wants it either! Cynthia is furious that Kenya dragged her into the issues with Tanya by making it seem like Cynthia was involved in bringing Cookie Lady around. Kenya claims she only did this because she was mad that Cynthia told Tanya that Kenya was hinting that Paul was cheating in Toronto, which meant that Tanya exposing Kenya for wearing a wig was malicious, not snarky. So essentially Kenya was pissed that Cynthia was trying to be a good friend to Tanya.
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Letâs break this down to a level even Brooklyn could comprehend: Kenya tried to publicly embarrass Tanya by hinting that her fiancĂŠ was cheating, because she was mad that Tanya wasnât receptive to her meddling in Tanyaâs infertility journey. Because Kenya is a shitty friend, who is only there when it benefits her, she never privately sat Tanya down to share what Cookie Lady was saying about Paul. Neither did Cynthia but maybe at that time she thought it was a non-factor until Kenya made a big thing about it in Toronto? Instead, during a group dinner, Kenya tried to force Tanya into admitting her relationship was a fraud by dropping shady hints. This was after Kenya (and Cynthia) had been gossiping about Cookie Lady to the other women.
By the time Cynthia finally fold Tanya what was up, Tanya was in possession of a wig Kenya asked her to transport from the hotel in Toronto, back to America. So Tanya told some of the other ladies that Kenya wears a wig. I personally thought this was hilarious!
Kenya retaliated by coming to lunch and calling Tanya the c-word, then trots out Cookie Lady who is burnt and crispy as an overbaked praline. Kenya believes Tanya deserves this for embarrassing her and trying to ruin her haircare business (never mind that Kenya lying to her customers in the first place will ruin her business. Plus why not just play it off as, âSometimes I wear a wig for bigger impactâ?). Thus ripping the Chilean Sea Bass Kenya works so hard to provide out of Brooklynâs toddler mouth.
The biggest problem is that Kenya, a mother of a daughter, is actually proud of her behavior. She thinks it says that no one can âcome for herâ. Lady â you are not demonstrating strength when you have a man publicly making a mockery of you, blatantly disrespecting and using you on TV. Kenyaâs anger is with Marc for exposing her as a fraud. Sheâs projecting it onto Tanya because you know Paul is faithful and Tanya has everything Kenya wants. Except a baby, which is also why Kenya is inserting herself into Tanyaâs IVF process.
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Since I am a Real Housewives conspiracy nut, Iâm guessing Kenya conspired with Cookie Lady to make that accusation against Paul, telling this woman it would get her on TV. Except Cookie Lady was rude and totally unlikable, so nobody believed her. Nor do they want to sample her chocolate chips: Cookie, or otherwise.
Furthermore, Iâm disappointed that Cynthia just let Kenya get off the hook for all that mess because she doesnât want to become the next victim. Or maybe she had her plate full with NeNe.
After NeNe hired Publix to prepare some generic cheese trays for Cynthiaâs Bailey Wine Cellar launch Cynthia feels compelled to at least give NeNe a chance to explain how their friendship fell apart. Cynthia sends a bottle of wine to Swag and suggests they meet at the wine cellar for a chat. The only person who is excited about this is Marlo Hampton because she fancies herself the ambassador who brokered this long-awaited peace summit. Am I the only one who really and truly does not care if Cynthia and NeNe get back to sisterhood? Even the flashbacks of their years of fake friendship did little move to my heart. Iâd rather have scenes of Porsha Williams watching her baby crawl or Eva Marcille getting her cervix checked (OK⌠maybe not that.)
Cynthia puts some salsa in wine glasses and pops a bottle of champagne to welcome NeNe. âŚAaaaaannd it goes exactly like one would expect a conversation between these two to go! NeNe is fixated on Cynthia calling her a âtoxic friend,â because thinks of herself as a supportive sister. Despite 10+ years of Real Housewives Of Atlanta footage proving otherwise. Plus twitter, plus instagram, plus all the interviews and media gambits NeNe has done trashing her âsisters.â
NeNe wants Cynthia to take all the blame for their friendship failing. Cynthia tries to point out that NeNe also said horrible things about her and they are mutually responsible. NeNe refuses to hear this and storms out. So predictable! Obviously Cynthia chases after her, where NeNe is standing just outside the door fake crying. She couldnât squeeze out a tear if her life depended on it! NeNe sniffles that Cynthia was the closest person to her and she feels betrayed and sosososososososo hurt. I am so tired of this shit! NeNe doesnât care about any of these women. The only reason she even bothered to reconnect with Cynthia is because she wants to have an ally and best Kenya!
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Cynthia hugs NeNe, and apologizes â of course she did â because her identity is âbeing the bigger person.â The whole thing was frankly uncomfortable, and super fake. Cynthia describes this as a good first step in rebuilding their friendship. NeNe thinks she has regained the upper-hand and decides to host one of her âinfamousâ sisterhood-supporting âLeopard Lunchâ events. To truly demonstrate that she is extending nothing but olive branches (which donât grow in the jungle TBH) NeNe invites all the women â even Kenya â with a shady note about lying lions and jungles full of animals stalking their prey. Porsha is not interested in being hunted down by shade, so she opts to stay home. Porsha might have come if NeNe had personally invited her, but considering that NeNe is blocked on all channels thatâs not really possibleâŚ
What makes this a âLeopard Lunchâ is that everyone is supposed to wear a jungle animal print. Also Leopard and Lunch both start with the letter âLâ. Cause this is Sesame Street for Housewives.
Cynthia and Eva arrive on time, but in the car to the restaurant Eva starts having contractions. Cynthia has to turn right around and drive her to the hospital on Dr. Jackieâs orders. What is Eva even doing on this show if sheâs not gonna give birth in a restaurant with Kandi Burruss turning someoneâs dress into a surgical mask and cutting the cord using a steak knife?
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At this point lunch started 30 minutes ago, but the only other people who showed up were Kandi and Tanya. They sit there (and sit there and sit there and sit thereâŚ), fussing over the same basket of tortilla chips, until Kenya arrived 90 minutes late. Mind you NENE WAS STILL NOT THERE. Also at this point it was like 3pm, so way past lunchtime.
Kenya wore all white (is she surrendering to NeNe?) with a snake-print purse. She completely ignores Tanya as she says hello to Kandi and acts like nothing is wrong. Tanya is visibly (and rightly) annoyed and disgusted. When Kenya realizes NeNe isnât there, she decides to leave after 5 minutes. Frankly I donât blame her. If I had gotten dressed, trucked my ass across town, and the hostess hadnât shown up, Iâd bail too. I have no idea why Kandi and Tanya were still there unless they were being paid by the hourâŚ
2.5 hours late, NeNe finally walks through the door, acting as if the star has finally arrived! She pretends to Tanya and Kandi that other women had been there all along, but at another table, team-building and connecting based on the magic of NeNeâs sisterhood creating powers. On cue, from around the corner comes a whole slew of women, dressed in leopard, acting like NeNeâs fan club. She had to have hired these people! Also, who does NeNe thinks she is? Oprah?? Like she is making an entrance and needs to be met with adoration and applause! NeNe gushes that she wants her real-life friends to meet her reality TV friends, presumably to teach them a lesson about what a good friend NeNe really is when youâre a good friend to her.
Then Marlo finally arrives. Even later! NeNe is actually annoyed that Eva went into labor, and made Cynthia miss her event. She is also annoyed that Porsha never showed. Just as NeNe is complaining that Porsha is rejecting all her attempts to reach out and blaming her for being a bad sister, in walks Porsha with Shamea Morton, dressed all leopard-y. And NeNe has the audacity to complain that sheâs so late!!!! Porsha was 20 minutes later than NeNe as the RHOA countdown clock helpfully showed. At this point itâs about 4pm, so dinner if youâre on the early bird special.
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In the middle of NeNe lecturing Porsha on the importance of sisterhood, Eva calls Kandi with an update. NeNe asks Kandi to leave the table because sheâs in the middle of talking, and leopard lunch is about building sisterhood with NeNe only. Canât interrupt the queen with medical emergencies!!
NeNeâs ego is bigger than an elephant. If Eva is your sister wouldnât you care about the health of her and her unborn child? Guess not when it interferes with Dingo Dinner.
TELL US â DOES KENYA OWE TANYA AN APOLOGY OR DID TANYA GET WHAT SHE DESERVES? SHOULD CYNTHIA AND NENE GIVE THEIR FRIENDSHIP ANOTHER CHANCE? WOULD YOU WAIT AT AN EVENT FOR A HOST WHO WAS 3 HOURS LATE?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]
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