Happy Thanksgiving. I’m grateful I don’t have to interact with Real Housewives Of Dallas in the wild. LeeAnne Locken may cut my legs at the ankles to watch me crawl away and bleed to death. She’s just upset, you guys. If you upset her, it’s your fault. And then after all that you still might end up on ‘friendship probation’!
Over in Copenhagen, Brandi Redmond is a raging ball of fury. She learned that LeeAnne used her iPhone to nab naked footage of Brandi swimming in the Baltic Sea. Brandi is fine with the Bravo crew having that video. They will use it as contractually expected. But her arch nemesis? A different story! For some reason, they decide this is the perfect time to go to a fancy dinner! Within seconds Brandi, comes at LeeAnne with accusations. She’s untrustworthy, a liar, and no one at the table really wants to be her friend. Ouch.
And here’s your PSA for the day: I have never (like ever) agreed with Brandi on anything. I do agree with this one point: LEEANNE HAS NOT CHANGED. She will be crazy for L’infinity. She’s putting up a good (fake) act. Everyone is fake falling for it because they’re scared to face a future where they can’t wear Louboutins due to missing feet. However, I don’t think Brandi’s behavior is much better. Just like LeeAnne, Brandi tends to always have a target. She is relentless acting like she’s the victim. Also just like LeeAnne. They really are incredibly similar. Brandi is just less conniving.
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Kameron Westcott, of course, defends her girl. She complains that LeeAnne is being picked on. Brandi reminds Kameron that LeeAnne (and Kameron) have been going around talking about how she is a bad influence and an alcoholic. They even warned D’Andra Simmons that associating with Brandi will ruin her social life.
Then Brandi calls everyone “fake bitches” for pretending to trust LeeAnne. She grabs her wine and stomps out. D’Andra and Stephanie Hollman are caught in the middle between two frenemies, except in Stephanie’s case Brandi really is her BFF.
Brandi calls D’Andra, not Cary Deuber, to console her after Stephanie doesn’t answer her phone. LeeAnne sees D’Andra leaving as the ultimate betrayal of their friendship. Brandi is upset with Stephanie for not sticking up for her against LeeAnne.
Cary stayed in Copenhagen with Zuri and Mark Deuber to continue visiting with family. The girls finally returned home to food they can eat without gagging. However, LeeAnne’s focus is now on her fashion show to showcase the L’infinity dress.
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Kameron visits Cary and brings her a subtly digging milkshake to illustrate how Cary was STAAAARVING her to death the whole time they were in Copenhagen. “I just like American food,” Kameron sulks. Of course what happens in Copenhagen, doesn’t stay in Copenhagen so D’Andra is still on “friend probation.”
But the real drama is how LeeAnne’s phone went missing for 2 hours and it was Brandi who ultimately found it in the sofa cushions. Now LeeAnne believes Brandi stole it to try and find the naked video. Kameron and Cary both believe Brandi is innocent. For once being considered dumb counts in Brandi’s favor. They laugh at the idea of Brandi being smart enough to figure out LeeAnne’s passcode. It’s probably “CarnyKid” spelled out numerically. Also, Brandi says, if she was really gonna do something she would’ve probably flushed LeeAnne’s phone down the toilet. OBVIOUSLY.
As revenge, LeeAnne claims she “cloned” Brandi’s phone at the hotel. No one really believes this is anything but a ridiculous threat. Except for Brandi! But why would LeeAnne even make that threat? Data hacking is illegal. Cary and Kameron decide they need to investigate this case of “CSI on crack” at LeeAnne’s fashion show.
At home, safely ensconced in Court Westcott’s money, Kameron is relieved she’s now waking up to “spilled milk and cereal drama” with her kids instead of “someone stole my phone drama,” with her friends. However, the real drama was Sparkle Dog! While on a girls trip, there was just like NO WAY Kameron could keep up with emails related to work (which Court obviously thinks is ridiculous).
RELATED: Real Housewives of Dallas Star D’Andra Simmons Thinks Kameron Westcott Is “Too Far Up” LeeAnne Locken’s Ass
Ultimately, Kameron decides if she wants to be taken seriously, she needs to get a business partner who will do all the work while she bops around giggling about pink dog food. That way she can still go on girls trips, attend PTA meetings, and shop! cmore than agrees, “Before you’re the CEO of Sparkle Dog, you gotta be the CEO of the house.” Then he tells her she’ll maybe be allowed to have a third kid if she abandons the adopted Sparkle Dog career – or sells way, way WAY more of it while also spending less on tacky pillows.
I do love Kam’s hoity-toity teenaged haughtiness when she tells a story, with the eye-rolling and scoffing. She and Court do have a great relationship. I like him!
Cary gets ready for the fashion show at D’Andra’s house. They have LOTS to talk about. Did LeeAnne really clone Brandi’s phone? LeeAnne told D’Andra that she asked Rich Emberlin to do it. Cary and D’Andra call Brandi to check in since she wasn’t invited to the fashion show. YOU KNOW she would’ve attended just to cause a scene. In a hilarious irony, Brooklyn stole Brandi’s phone and brought it to school… “Like mother like daughter,” D’Andra jokes.
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However, when Cary mentions that Kam joked about D’Andra being on friend probation, she’s not laughing! “Eat crow,” Cary advises, sagely.
Stephanie skips the fashion show. She has the convenient excuse that it is Travis Hollman’s birthday. However, she admits she just really didn’t want to hear LeeAnne make accusations about Brandi. Thank you, Travis, for being born on this blessed L’infinity dress fashion show day. Amen.
D’Andra has no idea what to expect from this fashion show. She’s never even seen the dress. “This could be a hot mess, it could be a train wreck, or it could be a work of art.” Cary finds it extremely odd that LeeAnne has been working on this for ages – long before her fallout with D’Andra – yet D’Andra is so in the dark. There are 175 ways to wear this dress, but Cary thinks they’re all tacky. Meanwhile, Kameron believes it’s a work of genius that will go down in fashion history. Yes, I’m sure next years MET Costume Institute Ball will be dedicated to the many stylings of the L’infinity Dress! A white sleeve and a black sleeve, with a red ruffle! OOOH…
RELATED: Brandi Redmond Worried LeeAnne Locken Alcoholic Accusations On Real Housewives Of Dallas Would Disrupt Adoption Of Her Son
LeeAnne closes the show wearing a wedding gown, which is the white version of the L’Infinity Dress. To throw down the gauntlet that she is the Queen Bee of Dallas society, she’s also wearing a crown over the veil. Yet Rich is nowhere in sight. D’Andra knows it’s a jab and is furious. Cary counsels her to calm her ass down, while LeeAnne smirks that D’Andra thought she’d never get down an aisle wearing white yet here she is. It seems fitting that LeeAnne is having a wedding for herself, about herself, and with her fiancé nowhere in sight.”I don’t understand what’s going on,” fumes D’Andra, “I thought we were trying to patch things up.” Why would LeeAnne end the triumph of her show on such a negative note? C’mON LeeAnne!
Back at home, feeding babies and talking shit, Brandi jokes with her mom to be careful about what she texts since LeeAnne allegedly cloned her phone. So Brandi knows LeeAnne’s threat was baseless, but she’s sick of the compulsive lying and the nonsense.
LeeAnne says it’s not fair that Brandi gets away with stealing her phone, yet she’s not allowed to pretend she cloned Brandi’s phone because Brandi is held to a higher standard. Really? I mean all they ever do is talk about how Brandi is a hot, trashy mess. I don’t know what that ‘higher standard’ might be.
RELATED: Real Housewives of Dallas Star Stephanie Hollman Hopes LeeAnne Locken & D’Andra Simmons “Can Work It Out Before It’s Too Late”
LeeAnne admits she lied just to provoke Brandi. “It was like my little inside punishment. I lived for it – it was like ice cream at the end of the day.” Everyone is shocked to see LeeAnne admitting that she lied – for days – about this and never fessed up to the lie. “The other ladies refuse to see Brandi’s mean girl side,” she smarts as an excuse. I think they DO see it, but I just don’t think they believe Brandi is pathological.
Cary defends Brandi against LeeAnne’s accusation that she stole the phone. Kameron changes her story. In front of LeeAnne, she thinks Brandi was trying to look to see if the photos and video were gone. Cary is shocked by this about-face and directly calls Kam out. I kinda love that this season Cary just goes around playing judge, jury, and punisher. Meanwhile, D’Andra is disappointed to see LeeAnne admit she lied on purpose. She feels it’s evidence that LeeAnne hasn’t made progress after all.
On a positive note from the trip, Cary’s dad is so pleased she reconnected with their family in Copenhagen and she sees this as a new beginning for their relationship.
Next week is the season finale and it looks like things get really, really nasty!
TELL US – DO YOU THINK BRANDI STOLE LEEANNE’S PHONE? WAS LEEANNE JUSTIFIED IN LYING ABOUT THE CLONING? DO YOU WANT REAL HOUSEWIVES OF DALLAS TO RETURN FOR A FOURTH SEASON?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]