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Kyle Richards

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills ladies took, what was supposed to be, a relaxing trip to the Bahamas. I think I’ve had more relaxing times in a dentist’s chair. Don’t they know vacation-fighting is so 2014?

There have been some theatrics surrounding Dorit Kemsley and a dog. You might have heard about it. Lines have been drawn and texts have been sent, but who is telling the truth about the origins of #puppygate? Kyle Richards dissects the latest episode and feels honesty is the best policy (stop laughing).

While enjoying the sights, the gals broke off into groups to entertain various activities. Camille Grammer, Denise Richards, Lisa Rinna, and Dorit went to terrorize marine life snorkeling. The subject of Lucy I Can’t With That Name came up, because of course, it did. Camille said the pup should have gone back to Vanderpump Dogs immediately. Duh!

In her Bravo blog, Kyle wrote, “Camille makes a valid point. The dog should have just gone back to Vanderpump Dogs. I understand that Dorit thought she found it a good home and told Lisa the following day, but things wouldn’t have been as messy as they are now if she had just given it back.” Seems pretty cut and dry, right? NOPE! Because Dorit’s inability to do the right thing isn’t the only issue here. The main concern is not abandoning an animal. It is how everyone found out about the unfortunate situation.

Kyle shared, “It seems like it was a passive aggressive move on Lisa ’s part. Maybe because she didn’t want to rock the boat with Dorit and PK [Kemsley] she acted like the matter was put to rest, but it clearly was not. The fact that Lisa and Dorit are so close made it more difficult to swallow. If Lisa knew Dorit didn’t have bad intentions like she keeps saying, then why did John Sessa bring it up at Vanderpump Dogs?” Maybe because John cares more about the dogs he is rescuing than the feelings of the woman who created the situation? John does not hold a diamond in the opening credits. He does not play by anyone else’s rules.

RELATED: Dorit Kemsley Thinks Kyle Richards Tried To Keep The Dog Drama Going

Kyle explained that John and LVP are very close and because #puppygate was mentioned at Vanderpump Dogs, Dorit was left “vulnerable to dog activists getting the story wrong and going after her…” We have reached DEFCON 4 levels of avoiding the main issue here.

Kyle gave LVP her honest thoughts over lunch. She wrote, “At lunch with Lisa I am honest with her about what I think about the situation. That Lisa, instead of being forthcoming to Dorit, had this information given to Teddi [Mellencamp] hoping we would ‘go after’ Dorit about it since Teddi and I were not in a great place with Dorit.” That’s a long-winded way of saying Dr. Evil John and Darth Vanderpump combined their dark powers to influence the minds of the weak Teddi and Kyle. Keeping with the theme, Kyle also stated one of LVP’s greatest abilities is to “twist the conversation in hopes of confusing you and changing the narrative.”

According to Kyle, “Lisa knew exactly what I was saying. It is not easy to say something to a close friend they don’t want to hear. But I had to be honest.” She needs to be honest with Dorit and tell her to never adopt a dog again. Or be thankful for a storyline that distracts the public from her debts.

Prior to another dramatastic dinner, Teddi and LVP have a convo in Dorit and LVP’s room. This is where we begin #textgate… Thank goodness everyone keeps their text messages because Teddi has proof she was manipulated! Kyle explained LVP finally admits what “we had been saying all along”. Once again assuming LVP told Teddi about the dog because Teddi doesn’t like Dorit. Class is in session at the Beverly Hills Middle School for the Confused and Botoxed.

RELATED: Kyle Richards Thinks Lisa Vanderpump Orchestrated Dog Drama With Dorit Kemsley

Over a nice supper of tension and side-eyes, Kyle noticed Dorit and LVP’s mood seemed off. But she was kind of too busy getting her $10,000 watch to pay much attention. Priorities! When Teddi spoke about her feelings on being used, Dorit declared she believes her. At that point LVP had had enough. “Lisa V. announced she was leaving because nobody was paying attention to her. I felt bad and chased after her,” noted Kyle.

After LVP’s departure, Lisa Rinna brought out the claws had some questions for Kyle. Claiming she did not feel like making Rinna relevant being put on the spot, Kyle reflected on her friendship with LVP. “Lisa V. and I have been close for many years. We have had our ups and downs. But answering questions about why Lisa had done certain things felt like I was talking behind her back.” Kyle would never ever talk behind LVP’s back.

At the end of the night, the ladies (minus LVP) found themselves at da club where they exercised good judgement drank until 4am. Of their final evening, Kyle sums it up, “Like I said, ‘we were overserved’. I love that expression. Removes you from any responsibility for your actions. Seems to be a common theme lately.” Lately? Um, I have news for you darling.

RELATED: Kyle Richards Shocked By Confrontation With Ken Todd

Back in Los Angeles at Villa Rosa, Ken Todd shows LVP he was a bit of a detective in her absence. Now #textgate has some legs! Sherlock Todd produces full print out messages between Teddi and John Blizzard. While it looks like Teddi has her pants on fire, Kyle wants us to know there is “much more to this story…” The plot thickens!

TELL US – DO YOU THINK TEDDI CAN EXPLAIN THE NEWLY REVEALED TEXTS? DOES LVP HAVE A SPECIAL KNACK FOR TWISTING CONVERSATIONS IN HER FAVOR?

[Photo Credit: Bravo]

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