Apparently, the Vanderpump Rules reunion for Season 7 was quite a doozy. In the past, we’ve seen Scheana Marie cry about the demise of her marriage to Mike Shay. We’ve been entertained by James Kennedy crawling across the floor whilst imitating Stassi Schroeder’s return to the show. We’ve witnessed Katie Maloney be a refreshing ray of sunshine Katie Maloney.

Through it all, Lisa Vanderpump has tried to corral the group of level 10 messes thirtysomethings into people who can somehow provide a lasting impact on humanity. Or at least steer clear of a social disease outbreak worthy of a CDC visit. That said, this reunion is evidently one for the record books. Lots of intensity and maybe some physical contact has appeared on the menu, courtesy of your SUR servers.

Scheana recently spoke to Us Weekly about divisions among the cast, “I think it’s because Jax [Taylor] said [the reunion] was so hard and I said it was so easy, so [people are] like, ‘Cast divided!’ But just for me, I don’t think I’ve ever had an easy reunion where I didn’t cry, and my lashes stayed on the whole time this time. It wasn’t as hard as my [2016] divorce [from Mike Shay], so.”

First of all, thank God Scheana’s eyelashes stayed on. There really is nothing worse for viewers, especially those with high definition television. Scheana also revealed Billie Lee made physical contact with a few of the castmates, but “it’s not what you think”.

WHY SO CRYPTIC? Is this a typical Bravo ploy where we are supposed to sit around thinking Billie put her hands on people out of anger? Or is she embracing those she fought with loving arms? Did Billie and Lala Kent reconcile, or will their extensions require a funeral service on the floor of the restaurant? Billie did confess she was “really nervous” to see Lala on set after their tumultuous season.

It didn’t go quite as well for Jax. He shared, “It was by far the worst reunion … I’ve ever been apart of the whole seven years of being on the television show.” For what it’s worth, I’m intrigued – has Jax even done anything this season apart from award winning acting professing his continued love for fiance Brittany Cartwright? “I’ve seen reunions of Housewives and stuff — I’ve never seen a reunion go that crazy or heard of a reunion going that crazy in my life,” he said. Yassssss, I suspect someone who feeds upon the suffering of others to come through with some crazy antics.

RELATED: Scheana Marie Shares An Update On Relationship With Ex-Husband Mike Shay

Kristen Doute also chimed in and said ex-boyfriend James and Jax were, “the most intense I’ve ever seen them.” Why is Jax so upset that James exists? Jax acts like James stole his original face and made a mockery of it somewhere online. James doesn’t even date people Jax went out with, because Jax is literally another generation away from the troubled DJ. Don’t be sad Jax, we don’t mind that the face you were born with was just a rough draft.

Kristen commented, “Our cast is actually like one big, happy family, and we have the extras, so the extras are divided from the main cast.” The extras? Like your maybe-not boyfriend Brian Carter? Or… YOURSELF? Kristen isn’t even employed at SUR and when she has been featured thus far, she’s had on goggles that were clearly shaded with massive amounts of alcohol. Kristen, darling, you are the literal definition of extra. Choose your words wisely.

Host Andy Cohen had to scold the cast for talking over each other and Kristen admits he “yelled at us a lot”. I would love to play Reunion Bingo where you can score points for each time Andy cries, “You guys!”, Scheana checks her make-up, or Lala starts off a sentence with, “My man…”

RELATED: Scheana Marie Weighs In On Tom Sandoval’s Bully Accusations Against Katie Maloney

Reflecting on the taping Jax stated, “It was nuts,” he said. “This season was a great season, but this reunion was something else. The reunion is worse than the whole season put together. It was crazy. It was absolutely nuts.” I’m guessing the topics will include Stassi needing to cut back on the drinking, Kristen needing to cut back on the drinking, Brittany needing to cut back on the drinking, and Katie telling everyone else what to do in their lives.

So, business as usual I guess.


[Photo Credit: Bravo]