Heather Thomson on WWHL

Heather Thomson recently announced her departure from Real Housewives Of New York after three seasons. Heather holla’d her way into our hearts(?) and minds during season 5, following the dramatic firing of half the original cast. Despite being the new gal, the Yummie Tummie entrepreneur wasn’t afraid to speak her mind – even if the person she was holla-ing at threatened bodily harm with a pinot glass. (Or a prosthetic leg). 

Below we recap Heather’s standout moments from Real Housewives Of New York. Of which there were many! From stormy St. Tropez (and Turks and Caicos) situations, getting toaster oven burnt, Avivalicious insanity, and more. 

With RHONY in peril following the firings of Jill Zarin, Alex McCord, and Kelly Bensimon, Bravo hired three newbies in hopes of reclaiming the magic. Heather joined writer girl Carole Radziwill and the one-legged drama queen Aviva Drescher. Announcing she was “Jewish by injection,” thanks to her husband Jon, the fashion director and owner of Yummie Tummie was known for her fierce determination, busy-body nature, and business sense – and true to form Heather took on both Ramona Singer and Sonja Morgan in her first season! 

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Season 5 – Holla-tics And Pinot Problems: 

Ramona vs Heather

Heather brought something new to the collective drawing board of Real Housewives Of New York; an avowed downtown girl who preferred the Berkshires to the Hamptons, she wasn’t afraid to meddle in entrenched Housewives affairs. Heather, the mother of two young children, also shared her son Jax’s health journey. Her son Jax had a liver transplant, something she used the show to bring attention to. This initially bonded Heather to Aviva Drescher, who lost her leg due to a tragic childhood accident. Unfortunately even in her first season many of Heather’s heartfelt moments (like the charity fashion show she produced for the Kellner Foundation) were eclipsed by her ability to stir up drama! 

Ramona and Heather hated each other from the get-go. Ramona was already repping RHONY as the girl with the fashion career, and there was no room for interlopers! The two alpha-bitches sniffed each other’s shape-wear clad derrieres and found themselves in a Hamptonites standoff during a cocktail party after Ramona rudely labeled Heather an “interrupter.” 

Heather retaliated by planning a girl’s trip to London and leaving Ramona off the guest list. Interrupt this bitch! Tying to secure the all-expense paid vacation on Yummie Tummie’s dime, by interrupting their friendship disruptus, Ramona apologized to Heather and repeatedly tried to prove her worthiness. Honestly – what Real Housewives Of New York trip would be complete without Turtle Time?! Ramona was more transparent than panty hose, so Heather didn’t back down. 

Heather Thomson & Aviva Drescher

While Heather never got off on the right foot with Ramona, she connected with her fellow newgals Carole and Aviva, but also with Ramona’s bosom buddy Sonja. Heather decided to take Sonja under her wing to help her ‘brand’ her Sonja Morgan New York toaster oven. Does anyone remember when Sonja was in the toaster oven business? Yeah, that crashed and burned (but did it toast?). Sonja eagerly accepted Heather’s help when Heather proffered up a professional branding expert, photographer, and studio. But the photoshoot went more Kotex With Wings, than protege learning to fly on her own.  

Ramona tried to butt in and invited herself to the photoshoot – something neither Heather nor Sonja wanted. Except, naturally, Sonja would later blame the whole missing invite on Heather not wanting Ramona involved. 

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The photo shoot turned out to be a disaster! A discourteous Sonja and Heather didn’t see eye-to-eye over the usage of a headless hottie holding a toaster oven vs. a sexy J, so Sonja abandoned Heather’s time, help, experts, and ideas in favor of something a fan sent her through twitter. Thus the toaster oven was dead. Even worse, Sonja then gossiped to Ramona that Heather was horrible to work with and mocked Ramona’s business sense. It resulted in a huge fight during the launch of Ramona Red (yes, Ramona actually had a red wine at some point… ). All the melee left Heather informing Mario that his wife was “crazy” – just in case he hadn’t noticed. Yet. 

Ramona Makeover

However, Heather is a helper at heart! With Ramona going around Housewives-land badmouthing Heather, Heather decided to kill pinot with kindness by tricking Ramona into a makeover! Heather invited Ro-Ro-Pinot shopping and then tried to coerce her into a new look. It was subtle shade to demonstrate that Heather’s fashion savvy was supreme. But Ramona didn’t drink the tequila – come hell or dry pinot glasses, Ramona Singer never changes.

Heather also tried to teach L’ex-comptesse a lesson in humility by encouraging Luann de Lesseps to leave her hubris in the Hamptons. Luann mistook Heather’s instruction for gossip and presumed Heather was just reminding her of how inferior her fellow-Housewives are. 

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And then there was St. Barths. In St. Barths, the ladies got drunk and Luann got pirate-ed. And it was Heather who spilled the vino to the public at large. After Aviva’s total break from reality, Heather was forced to be her sanity coach throughout the rest of the trip.

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Back in the states, the invaluable lessons in counseling the insane are further put to good use when Heather is forced into a final confrontation with Ramona during Carole’s “Bookby Shower” (book release party). When Ramona refused to have a conversation with Heather, Heather simply shadowed Ramona around the party until she cracked. It was the most effective pinot-psychology I’ve ever seen.  The battle may have been won, but the war raged on… 

Season 6: To The Victor No Spoils Go

Heather and Carole Vs. Aviva

Heather spent her second season on Real Housewives Of New York dressed like a cross between Rhoda from Mary Tyler Moore, and Jane Fonda circa 1984. Her friend Kristen Taekman joined the cast to replace the demoted Luann. Intriguingly, during the long gap between seasons, Luann, Heather, and Carole had found themselves formidable friends, as they cast Aviva aside to enemy territory. Kristen was welcomed into the fold to face-off against Ramona, Sonja, and the crazy Aviva, who became the leg who stood alone

Aviva accused Carole of using a ghost writer for her memoir, What Remains, and Heather earned a new role as Carole’s fierce protector. Poor little Carole needed a big mama and Heather was just heathen enough to do it. She is from the Berkshires after all! 

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During a fete at Luann’s Hampton’s house, Aviva‘s image consultant Amanda (“That Amanda Person”) faced the obscenity-laced wrath of Heather on Carole’s behalf. Aviva accused Heather of learning such crude language in prison and labeled her ghetto. Heather did not take too kindly – after all she used to work for P.Diddy! Luann, fed-up, deems the party over and lets them eat cake (or pie rather) – on the lawn. 

Now finding herself on Heather’s good side, Ramona tried to force Aviva and Heather to make amends. Instead Aviva made accusations that Carole and Heather were “lovers” which is why Heather won’t defend Aviva’s writing career. Sonja was intrigued… Ramona scandalized!

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Despite the stormy situation, Heather continued to try to mediate between Carole and Aviva,  and graciously met Aviva for a ‘Come To Pinot’ drink. But things went from bad to worse and Aviva’s friendship to Heather was left without a leg to stand on. Aviva officially replaced Ramona as ‘Le Ostracized One,’ and the ladies formed the Sisterhood of The Mermaid Parade

Heather and Jon threw an anniversary party, and Heather with her tried and true tactic of not extending an invite, decided not to invite Aviva. As a result Ramonja boycotted. Heather was initially pissed, but then realized it was time to let Kristen do her dirty work – after all Kristen needed to prove she’s more than just a pretty face! Kristen confronts Ramona about her rudeness, which begins a season-long argument where Ramona’s main weapon is wine. And tantrums. 

With Kristen battling RamonaHeather attempts to forge a peace treaty with her former foe. Things went up in flames quickly, however – this time it wasn’t over toaster ovens (and being left out of toaster oven summits), but air conditioners and lack thereof. Heather hosted the ladies (sans Aviva) at her Berkshires home, but it was a far cry from the lap of luxury Ramona, the Hot Flash of the Hamptons, was used to! 

Ramona Singer Intervention

Unable to cope in reduced circumstances, Ramona hopped on a private plane and flew away. Ramona was on a mission… to catch Mario cheating, something she hadn’t confided in her castmates who assumed her breakdown was par for the Ramotional Course. Ramona pretended that being near trees triggered painful childhood memories –  she blamed Heather for forcing her outside of her comfort zone. Heather, in retaliation, led the ladies in staging an intervention against Ramona’s rude and self-centered ways. 

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During a trip to Saratoga, Heather attempted, yet again, to help Sonja control her partying ways. It ended badly, with Kristen, once again, fighting Heather’s villains. Of course, Heather, the Mother Teresa of Reality TV, doesn’t give up easily!

Eventually the ladies found themselves in Montana, Aviva bearing a doctor’s note, claimed she couldn’t travel due to her “asthma”. The ladies were pissed that they were forced to endure a week of cow paddy bingo, while Aviva was relaxing in Manhattan – thus began Aviva’s three-episode suspension. 

Heather seemed to be the only lady who loved the Montana trip and proved her Housewives’ Helper role knew no bounds.

In Montana Heather tried to corral Sonja’s ever-discombobulated business plans. Heather, realizing the west was lost, decided to remain drunk for the rest of the trip. Pinot and Puddles (Puddles being Sonja) were proud of Heather for seeing the light. Heather gets a AIA (Alcohol Is Awesome) chip and is welcomed into their club. With Kristen being continuously mistreated by Ramonja, she is disgusted that Heather would join their ranks.

Heather ended up storming out into the plains where she found herself fly fishing, rappelling, and geocashing to survive. Kristen finds her drunk, resorting to guzzling Ramona Pinot in the wilds. Even worse – Heather went so insane she befriended Ramona! Kristen tried to rescue Heather and force her return to civilization, but it erupts into an argument over how bossy and unsupportive Heather can be when all Kristen wants to do is scavenger hunt! 

Heather Thomson & Kristen Taekman - Montana

Kristen confronts Heather about being controlling and domineering in her marriage (and with her friends) and implies Jon is unhappy being Heather’s lackey sidekick for life! Heather believes Kristen was taking her own unhappy marriage out on her. But were their some truth to Kristen’s comments? Ramona is overjoyed and immediately starts playing both Kristen and Heather! Realizing, Ramonja is a cruel mistress, the two friends reclaim their sanity and apologize. 

Heather Thomson Carole Birthday party

Back in NYC, Heather proves she’s more than just a bossy, meddling, mama with superb business sense – she’s also a songstress. Mario hosted an open mic to “serenade” Ramona and Heather took the stage to perform a little karaoke of her own. No, she did not record a single. In her spare time she also threw Carole a 50th birthday party. With everyone seeming to be getting along, in walks Aviva. And Heather is not about to let Aviva get away with her one-legged excuses! 

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During a Team Sonja party at Le Cirque, Heather led the charge to confront Aviva about her phony asthma and other pseudo health claims, despite Aviva presenting X-Rays. Heather refused to stand for it, so Aviva tossed her prosthetic leg across the table at Heather to prove her point. 

The reunion was a gnashing, gnawing, garrulous calumny of arguments – afterwards Aviva was given her walking papers.  

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Outside of dealing with Housewives drama, Heather and Jonathan continued to wrestle with Jax’s health issues and whether or not to undergo a surgery to repair his hearing. 

Season 7: Bros Before Hoes

Reality TV Gossip Real Housewives of New York premiere

Season 7 was full of surprises for Heather due to the return of Bethenny Frankel which coincided with the defection of Luann. Things quickly turned sour when Heather realized Bethenny was there to usurp everyone’s relevance! 

Initially taking an ‘if you can’t beat’em, mother’em’ stance with Bethenny, Heather’s “friendly” smothering overtures were shutdown. Heather’s Nurturing By Nature only succeeded in breaking Bethenny down to tears because she thought Heather was prying. 

Heather and Bethenny once again try to get along

Bethenny and Heather continued to butt egos over Alpha-Bitchiness, but in the end, after Heather tried to force meatballs down Bethenny’s throat and a ‘Know It All’ tantrum-fest in Saint Tropez, they ladies found themselves allied over the disaster that was Ramona and Sonja. Predictably.  

Dorinda Medley also joined the cast. The friend of Ramona’s started out as the peacemaker, but succumbed to the powerful allure of pinot-pressure and took out her frustrations on Heather. Heather is everyone’s safe place! 

Heather also had drama with Sonja over her fashion collection and a girls weekend to Atlantic City. Sonja running late, and full of excuses, forced the ladies to wait for hours in her freezing cold vestibule, then in the idling limo. Except Bethenny, who was given dispensation as a premiere Housewife to show up late. Heather was fuming and despite confronting Sonja with her hardest f-bombs, Sonja was impassive – she had better things to worry about like smokey eyes, updos, and Gstaad! Heather declared their friendship over. 

Dorinda vs. Heather

In Turks and Caicos, Heather found herself seriously at odds with Dorinda, who railed against Heather for not waiting for her in a parking lot, and then accused Heather of setting a bad example as a mother because she dropped an f-bomb or two. Drunken f–king logic? “There’s a new gangster in town,” Carole dished to Bethenny – Heather had been duly replaced!

Of course, the true drama in Turks and Caicos came when Heather discovered an unattended naked man sleeping in the guest room. Heather freaked that her safety was at risk, luckily her bathrobe was tightly secured enough not to put anything else at risk! Storming into Ramona and Sonja’s room demanding an explanation, Ramona pointed Heather to Luann. Heather then barged in on Lu, who dismissively instructed Heather to “be cool, not uncool.” Too late for that!

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Luann, still suffering from PPTSD – Post-Pirate Tropical Snatched Disorder – accused Heather and Carole of attempting to catch her in another compromising situation when they barged into her room without knocking. (As a general rule, the cameras can’t go into a bedroom or bathroom if the door is shut). Luann wholeheartedly admitted to a make-out (and sending her guy home) – but her guy also may have been married. Heather led the charge to call Luann out as a homewrecker

Heather continued to lament that Luann had violated their safety (though it was Ramona’s unaccompanied member), back in NYC. Meanwhile Luann lamented that Heather had violated their friendship

RHONY 100TH EPISODE RECAP – THE DRAMA FROM BEGINNING TO NOW!

Heather’s issues with Luann deepened over Carole’s new boyfriend, Adam, who also happened to be the ex-boyfriend of Luann’s niece (who may or may not have STILL been dating him when Carole started living with him 8 days after meeting him). Luann was furious that Carole stuck her hand in Luann’s cookie jar – even worse doing it in Luann’s very own kitchen – yet didn’t tell Luann the truth. Heather, the official Captain of Carole’s Squad, provided security to help Carole fight her battle with Luann. Luann, in return, wrote “Girl Code,” accusing Heather of being Violator No. 1. 

Their friendship was doomed, unfortunately. 

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After a season of negatives with very little screen time other than her arguing, Heather decided to cut-ties with Real Housewives Of New York. Sources report the decision was mutual. Heather explained that the show had become more cons than pros, in addition to taking valuable time away from her business and her family. Her friendship with Carole remains tight. 

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Off-screen rumors swirled that Heather was having marital problems which she was adamant remain off the show, as a result there wasn’t much left to her storyline. 

I personally loved last season and will miss Heather

TELL US – WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE HEATHER MOMENT? LEAST FAVORITE? ARE YOU DISAPPOINTED HEATHER WON’T BE RETURNING?

[Main Photo Credit: Charles Sykes/Bravo; All Other Photos: Bravo]

 

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